James Spooner of Hove, Optimum Population Trust Media Plant

"And another thing..." Sir David Attenborough, patron of the Optimum De-Population Trust looking like a deranged, frightening preacher.

Consumer news and issues with Winifred Robinson, BBC Radio 4, today. Join the I-Player excerpt at time 15:33. Winifred has welcomed caller, James Spooner of Hove to discuss his 'big idea'. His big idea? It isn't that new, but I think its called Nazism.

Winifred Robinson: "James welcome to 'You and Yours'. Your big idea."

James Spooner of Hove: "Oh, thank you Winifred. It will be easier to meet our carbon reduction targets and easier to live on the world's resources if there are fewer of us so we do need to have a policy of reducing human population and fertility (Did someone say sterilisation?) both here and abroad."

Winifred Robinson: "How would you do it here?"

James Spooner of Hove: "Well not yet by compulsion (What do you mean, not yet!?). We've had some appalling um, human unhappiness in China and in India where different ways of compelling people to have fewer children have not been at all humanitarian (enforced abortion, infanticide, sterlisation). But I think we have to begin by just talking up the merits of smaller families and discouraging, not with too punitive methods, but we do need to discourage people having what I would in inverted commas call too many children (Hmm...don't tax the rich, tax those who don't use artificial contraception, or don't abort?). I know that a lot of us in the past have had more and we probably had grandparents who were one of eleven or twelve."

Winifred Robinson: "How many do you have?"

James Spooner of Hove: "I have, um..two." (It's the Optiumum, you know!)

Winifred Robinson: [Laughs] "You sounded like you couldn't remember for a minute."

James Spooner of Hove: "When you ask people nowadays how many they have, well, how many did they adopt, how many did they foster, how many have they had that have died early? It is a simple question but it isn't always a simple answer. But I have two, let's just summarise it like that. Um..

Winifred Robinson: "And how many is a good number, do you think?"

James Spooner of Hove: "Um...I think two is a good number (How convenient! That's what the OPT suggest as well! Aborted the third yet?), I not saying its a perfect number but many of us end up having more than two. Its not very kind for the children to grow up knowing they are mistakes (What?! You would actually tell them that?!). And, when we are already born and we've already decided our families sizes its far too late to go on actively recriminating and blaming people because, for example, some of our policy-formers may have had, in the past, themselves, more than two children. But we do want them on side, we're all going to have to decide what to do and its no good blaming our decisions on someone in the past." (Already he is looking, misty eyed towards that glorious future in which people meet in cafes and town squares to guffaw at how foolish the human race used to be when families had more than two children!)

Winifred Robinson: "But you mean its to do with sharing out scarce resources in the planet? Nothing to do with benefits or anything like that?"

James Spooner of Hove: "Pardon, I'm sorry..."

Winifred Robinson: "Nothing to do with giving out state benefits. You mean simply to do with reducing carbon emissions and stop using so much of everything?"

James Spooner of Hove: "Well, we live in a sort of dymanic equilibrium with the environment ('Healing Gaia', by Sir James Lovelock disciple, then!) and we can do it the easy way or we can do it the hard way and if there are more of us on the planet we will either have to cut our carbon much mroe andd cut the use of our resources much more, or if we can't do that and we don't want to accept a lower standard of living, we are going to have have fewer people (Remember, the easy way is to kill the unborn in the womb, the hard way is to defend human life)."

Winifred Robinson: "James Spooner thanks for coming on to say that."

The little Nazi! Cracking! The BBC allows this kind of fruitcake on and barely challenges him on his beliefs at all! Winifred didn't even say, "Pray, what price freedom in all this?" Anyone would have thought the BBC and the Optiumum Population Trust have some kind of a cosy relationship going on. James Spooner of Hove, there was a man who had a 'big idea' in population reduction in the 1940s in Germany and you are following his logic. If I ever have children, James Spooner of Hove, just to piss you and your rotten ilk off, not only am I going to have as many as God sees fit but I'll seek to persuade Him to give my family more than He had at first bargained for. If that is two children then God be praised. If that is 5 children then God be praised and if that is eleven or twelve children, then God be praised! Then, when they're old enough, I'll send them round your house to let off stink bombs, daily, through your letterbox...