Monday, 4 January 2010

CCTV and Bodyscanners: The Stuff of Orwell

"Oi! Only my wife's meant to see that camera. It was a birthday present!"

The notorious 'pants bomber', so named presumably because he was pants at being a bomber and should have considered another 'religious vocation', has unwittingly ratched up the terror-threat level and jolted our Action Man of a Prime Minister, Gordon Brown to introduce full body scanners to all UK airports so that airport staff can giggle at our genitalia. Cue jokes such as, 'Is that a bomb in your pants or are you just pleased to see me?' Obviously, I have nothing to hide, which is important in a burgeoning police state, but for some reason the idea of having airport staff peruse my nether regions on a monitor to check I'm not the 'Foreskin Bomber' does rather put me off travel.

The terrorists, whose chief aim, remember, is to 'destroy our liberties and freedom' are really doing rather well. Our Government are giving the terrorists our 'liberties and freedom' every time we're under a threat, even when it becomes daily more evident that these amateurs couldn't blow up a balloon.

Who needs terrorists who 'hate our way of life' when the Government seem to 'hate our way of life' even more than they do! If I were a real conspiracy theorist, since it does appear our Government will use any media circus to add another restrictive dimension to just being a chap living in the UK, I would say that these demented social engineers just want to humiliate Priests, Friars and Nuns at airports. My only hope is that this technological breakthrough makes it onto the doors of Parliament so security gets a good eyeful of Gordon and Ed 'Balls', because, frankly, if there is one thing we need at this time of heightened terror and palpable fear it is for our heroic guardians of our liberty to be protected from terrorists.

According to the Daily Mail...

Tory MP Ben Wallace, who worked on the scanners at defence research organisation QinetiQ before entering Parliament in 2005, said the £100,000 ‘millimetre wave’ machines would not have stopped syringe bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab from trying to mount his attack on Christmas Day.

So, the new technology wouldn't have stopped the 'Pants Bomber'? What on earth would we do about the 'Colon Bomber'? Let's just go with the full strip and internal examination then!

Incidently, I just watched a Channel 5 programme on CCTV in the UK. They featured the Edinburgh New Year celebrations, this year, during which the dedicated police team at HQ eye up the public, tutting and telling each other that they are 'glad they are not like that'. Obviously, using the CCTV the police can intervene on a couple of youths trying to beat the crap out of each other, thereby saving lives and easing the burden on the NHS during times of peak blood letting. Unfortunately, the down side of CCTV is that it is used to persecute the poor.

The official at HQ had picked up on a beggar outside an off-license who had committed the crime of going into the shop to buy a couple of 15-year olds a couple of bottles of Lambrini. While it is true to say this is not advisable, one can imagine that a beggar's temptation to do it is quite strong. As he said, when he was 15 he used to do the same, so he did as they said. Secondly, he is desperately poor and needed some change which they had given him. CCTV told the bobbies on the beat who were sent round to the man. The friendly bobbies asked the beggar and his friend to pour their New Years Eve drinks into the gutter.

However, in a swift turn in events, perhaps to impress those at home watching the theatre, the coppers who had decided to let him off a fine because it was New Year and they felt mildly charitable while just about everyone in Edinburgh, that usually sober Scottish town, was getting smashed off their faces, either changed their minds or had their minds changed by superiors, as the beggar was issued with not one but two fines of about £50. Given that the man had nothing to start off with, that is one crappy New Year's Eve! When the police left him he said, "Thanks officers...Happy New Year!" Policemen like this would have fitted in quite well at Auschwitz. They don't think or feel, they just do as they are told. Human society has a tendency to conspire against the poor, to crucify the poor and to persecute the poor rather than show mercy, kindness and compassion. CCTV and the new breed of Pharisee police will only intensify this injustice until eventually it spreads like a hideous disease across all of society.


Physiocrat said...

The way to do most damage is to blow yourself up whilst waiting to be checked. The checks cause a concentration of people which is a security hazard.

Alternatively put your explosive and remote control detonator in condom and swallow it then you explode like Alien.

By the way, can you get exploding underpants at Prowler in St James's Street? Could impress the clientele in the Bulldog. Watch that mighty todger burst its confines.

The Bones said...

The Mighty Todger Bomber! I had a look in that Prowler shop once. Honestly, you go in looking for a pair of Calvin Kleins and you come out with an all in one full metal-studded leather outfit and whatI can only assume to be a torch that vibrates incase you misplace it.

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