Jack Straw Changes Law on Judicial Freemasons

How convenient!

Courtesy of The Telegraph

'Since 1998 those becoming judges or magistrates have been required to say if they are a Mason after the then Home Secretary – Mr Straw – said membership of "secret societies such as freemasonry" could raise suspicions of impartiality and objectivity (Err...Yep! You betcha! Like the Grand Lodge thinks this, so lets do this...).

But, now Justice Secretary, Mr Straw has abandoned the requirement after the United Grand Lodge of England threatened legal action following a ruling by the European Court of Human Rights (As the Masons would know, money talks!) In 2007, the court ruled in favour of Italian Masons that making an official declare their membership breached their rights to free association and was discriminatory.(This is the same European Court of Human Rights that's banning Crucifixes in Italian Schools...Uh-huh, it's all starting to add up now...).

Mr Straw yesterday said a review had shown no evidence of "impropriety or malpractice" as a result of a judge being a Freemason and that it would be "disproportionate" to continue with the practice. The move sparked a furious backlash in 1998 and attempts to make a similar requirement for police officers was dropped in favour of voluntary declarations (Is that because men kind of rise through the ranks of the police as they rise through the 'degrees' in the Scottish Rite?) John Hamill, spokesman for the United Grand Union, said: "We are very happy the right thing has been done at long last." (Yeah, I bet you are, mate! I can just hear nearly every High Court Judge wiping his brow and muttering, "Phew! Nice one Jack! You got me out of a fix there!")

Dum, de, dum, de, dum...So...What are all you Freemason judges and, I might add, police, afraid of?! Why all the secrecy guys? I mean, I thought, according to the modern CCTV surveillance society, ID cards, terror threat, global warming, swine flu pandemic state of fear, that we, the people, should not be afraid of being monitored or having our information on a gigantic database even though we haven't been convicted of a crime, because if we did, that we 'obviously something to hide.' Come on Masons, especially Masonic judges and police, MPs, Lords and media moguls...Don't be so coy!

'Discrimination!', they cry! 'Discrimination!!?' Try it in the Church for a while and get a job for a Local Authority wearing a Crucifix and expressing your Catholic views for a while, and we'll see whether you know the meaning of the word discrimination! How odd that the media didn't report this law change, made on a whim, without consulting Parliament, by Jack Straw, because he felt like it, a bit more...I haven't seen any comment or columnists socking it to the Masons. How odd!

Perhaps it is because the Masons, still, are just as Pope Leo XIII described them in Humanum Genus and still hold a pernicious influence in all of those high-ranking positions in Government, media and society.

6. For as soon as the constitution and the spirit of the masonic sect were clearly discovered by manifest signs of its actions, by the investigation of its causes, by publication of its laws, and of its rites and commentaries, with the addition often of the personal testimony of those who were in the secret, this apostolic see denounced the sect of the Freemasons, and publicly declared its constitution, as contrary to law and right, to be pernicious no less to Christiandom than to the State; and it forbade any one to enter the society, under the penalties which the Church is wont to inflict upon exceptionally guilty persons.

The sectaries, indignant at this, thinking to elude or to weaken the force of these decrees, partly by contempt of them, and partly by calumny, accused the sovereign Pontiffs who had passed them either of exceeding the bounds of moderation in their decrees or of decreeing what was not just. This was the manner in which they endeavoured to elude the authority and the weight of the apostolic constitutions of Clement XII and Benedict XIV, as well as of Pius VII and Pius IX.(10) Yet, in the very society itself, there were to be found men who unwillingly acknowledged that the Roman Pontiffs had acted within their right, according to the Catholic doctrine and discipline. The Pontiffs received the same assent, and in strong terms, from many princes and heads of governments, who made it their business either to delate the masonic society to the apostolic see, or of their own accord by special enactments to brand it as pernicious, as, for example, in Holland, Austria, Switzerland, Spain, Bavaria, Savoy, and other parts of Italy.

Film Night

Last night was witness to an evening of food, chat and visual entertainment at Des's, a fellow parishioner who has been putting on film nights for a while now. Last night was Vodka Lemon, a charming little armenian flick about widows. Just to prove that people were there, here is a picture of some of those people. I think it made about £60-£70 for the Building Fund of the Church and though I am skint, I popped out to St James's Street for half an hour or so after the film to earn a fiver for my necessities as I'm a bit broke at the moment. Thank you, good people of Brighton! I'm trying to learn the lyrics to 'I Will Survive' at the moment by Gloria Gaynor so that I can hang around outside the gay bars and cash in on the pink pound while people come out and go in. 'First I was afraid, I was Petrified...' Chords are Am, Dm, G, C, Am, Dm, Em, F, C. With Christmas coming up, I've suggested the Choir take to the streets with some kick-ass Gregorian chant, dressed in Santa outfits.

It was a lovely evening of food, film and good old conversation about Catholics things like Angels, Free Will, the Devil, God, Saints, man's dignity made in the Image and Likeness of God etc...I'd like to start something up at my eco-flat but am unsure. Chess Club would be good but I don't really have that much room for tables and the like. I dunno, I can learn a load of songs and get people up for karaoke...I interviewed a parshioner of St Mary Magdalen's today on her life story which actually is quite incredible. If I can edit it I'll post it. The lady in blue in the picture below...

The Church is Guilty...But there is Hope!

The Priest looked down at the lump of plaster on the table and thought to himself, 'How many prayers have risen up through you and now you have fallen back down to the ground. Are you, O lump of plaster sent now as a Messenger? Are you the warning from the Almighty of how we have neglected God? Surely, you, O lump of plaster, tell me more than any fire or flood could. And yet, no. You are not a sign of God's Wrath. You are like a weeping Virgin. You are like the Crucified God. You are like the Infant Babe, longing to be cradled by the Mother. You come to me now, not as a rock that falls from the sky bringing calamity, but like a beggar who asks for alms. You are so small and humble, yet pleading and insistent, like the High Priest himself.

For how many years now has this Church, a Church in which Chesterton himself worshipped and whispered prayers in the language of God, festered and been left to fall into ruins? Are you, O lump of plaster, a living Sign more than I, of what the last 40 years have wrought? This Church, God's house, because of our neglect, has fallen into ruin. Have these last 40 years done more to tear down the walls of God's house, to destroy the Faith than even the ransacking of King Henry's men could achieve. Henry's men tore down Churches from the inside and stripped the Altars.

Yet, where are King Henry's men today? They are dead and forgotten and all of them lay now in the grave. No, all this, this ruin. We have done this ourselves. The ruin has come from within. Not an outside enemy, not an attack from without, not invading hordes or bloodthirsty forces. You come to me now like Christ. At once you are Judge of not just me but my predecessors before me, and yet, like Christ you wish to turn all this ill only into good. This Church, like You, O Lord, will rise again, like we will rise again, because You will speak Your Word and animate those who revere You.

Even those who did not revere You, will revere You. Those, even, who treated You with contempt and disdain will revere You once more. Like this lump of plaster, this stone which was rejected, you, O Lord will become the cornerstone once more. If England is to become Our Lady's Dowry once more, it will be done through you, a small lump of plaster, who seem so insignificant, yet who tell now of consecrations, desecrations and a new and glorious Reformation. You tell of Heaven, Purgatory and Hell, of the Church Militant, the Church Suffering and the Church Triumphant, of the Past, the Present and the Future, of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. To Him be glory, now and forever more.

Three periods of the Church, through which men have stumbled, three times, all belonging to Him, three Churches all belonging to God, three Persons, all God, three destinations of the Soul, all make us tremble in awe. Three decades in which the Incarnate God dwelt on Earth, three more years in which He gave witness to the Truth in His Ministry. Three days He laid in the tomb and on that third day, He rose again. And yes, like the Resurrection, impossible for mortals to comprehend, impossible for even Saints to fathom, You will make immortals of us all, refashioned, resurrected, resembling You, in Your Eternal Glory, and, like that Resurrection, this Church too will reflect You, as a Mirror of Beauty, as a Mirror of Heaven, as a Mirror of Perfection. Three men will ascend the Altar of God once more, almost as a sign of the Blessed Trinity to men, a Priest, a Sub-Deacon and a Deacon.

The light of the Sun will stream through the East Window, like the Light of Christ, the Light of the World rising in the East and we, Priest and People, will face You and give You praise and glory once more as we hope to into Eternity. Yes, like Christ, you, O lump of plaster have notcome to condemn, but to save. Like Christ, O lump of plaster, you have come not to destroy, but to heal. Like Christ, O lump of plaster, you have come to unite Heaven and Earth, to refashion, like our bodies and souls will be into His Image, the House of God. Yes, like the broken Body of Christ upon the Cross, you come to me now, not as an omen, not as a threat of collapse, not of failure, but a quiet plea for Faith, for Hope, and above all, Charity!'

‘EU Presidency’ position is precursor to ‘Euro-Pope’ plan, admists Brussels insider



[An excerpt 'news' piece from a new potential Catholic magazine, The Indulgencia...]

Tony Blair’s bid for the EU presidency has been cast in a new light since a Brussels insider dramatically admitted that the role is far wider and more profound than was at first anticipated by individual nation states.

Concern has been growing within the bureaucratic equivalent of the Tyrannosaurus Rex that the existence of a Pope to the World’s one billion Catholics could hinder the EU’s desire to destroy the concept of religious, national and cultural identity.

The plan to draft a new proposal on creating a ‘Euro-Pope’ for European Catholics came after a secret meeting attended by Tony Blair, his wife Cherie, Peter Mandelson, Silvio Berlusconi, Nicholas Sarkosy and his wife Carla Bruni. The singer Madonna is also thought to have been present and it is reported that at some point in the evening, she and Carla Bruni left the meeting to work on a new song about how much they despise the Catholic Church into which they were baptised and against which they have been rebelling since fifteen, imaginatively titled, ‘Screw You, Benny! (We say be Euro-own Pope!)”

Mr Blair, a Catholic convert and wife, Cherie Blair, a ‘devout Catholic’, have strongly denied the claim made by a Catholic Brussels mole, who was outraged by the idea and wanted to alert the World to the plan. A spokesman for Mr Blair said, “Here, you couldn’t sex up this dossier for us could you? Oh! You’re a member of the press. Sorry!”

Vatican: ‘Whatever next?’

Vatican spokesmen called for an immediate explanation. One Cardinal expressed horror at the alleged plan, saying, “This plan, if it exists and isn't a piece of satire, is a grave scandal. While the Church commends global moves for further solidarity and dialogue between nations, the Holy See utterly rejects moves to create a new Euro-Pope position. We have a Pope, gloriously reigning and he is the Successor of St Peter. He is Pope to European Catholics and Catholics worldwide, as visible Head of the Church on Earth. This is a matter which the EU should leave well alone. You cannot legislate against God’s decrees when He already entrusted the Keys of the Kingdom to St Peter. I mean, whatever next? I suppose you’ll be telling me next week that the European Court of Human Rights has demanded Crucifxes be taken down from Italian school walls, lest they offend someone? How preposterous!”

‘Papal Ring Tone’

Rumours that Tony Blair was at the secret meeting will come as no surprise to many Catholics who have long assertedin pubs, ‘That guy thinks he’s the Pope!’ Recently, Mr Blair made headlines in the World’s press by his interview with ‘Gay’ magazine, ‘Attitude’ in which he made comments which appeared at odds with Catholic teaching on homosexuality and contraception. His wife, Cherie Blair, has also made some public pronouncements on faith and morals which go against the teaching of the Church. Traditonal Catholics have called this new move the ‘Blairification of the Nations’ and assert that they have long believed the Blairs make a deliberate attempt to undermine the authority of the Holy Father and the teaching of the Church in public life and that they’d both have been torched for heresy years ago back in what one layman described as ‘the good old days’.

The Catholic Playboy?

A rival publication to hit The Tablet where it hurts?

I wrote the following blog post two days ago on notepad on my home pc, but couldn't post it because I don't have internet at home...Since then, events have got out of hand and I've designed and written the first edition of The Indulgencia, a new, monthly or perhaps even weekly Catholic publication. I've been writing and designing it all night since my friend came over and fixed my computer and it is now 8.59 a.m. I am now looking for funding for the first edition and welcome any help you can offer me. Looking over what, with the help of Almighty God and His Saints, I have achieved through the night, I would say that the results are quite impressive. I'm usually quite modest, but my new publication has huge potential for the burgeoning market of Traditional Catholics who support the Holy Father. There are still spaces for other contributers and columnists if they wish to pen something for it. OTSOTA?

A strange day. My parents came over and kindly dropped off some of my stuff. My mum said, "It looks like a shrine to Roman Catholicism." I said, "Oh, don't exaggerate", before she opened up the fridge to huge image of St Therese of Lisieux. Joking! No, really, she did say it looked like a shrine to Roman Catholicism. Of all the statues, cards and pictures of Saints I have, it wouldn't look so fanatical if I were in a 3-bed house. But then again...

I don't want to fall into the cult of meism, but I don't have internet at home at the moment and what with having gone with the Post Office's broadband and phone deal, I'm guessing my package has been held up due to the strikes. So, I have to fall back on my imagination a little. Maybe that's a good thing, as otherwise all I do is read The Telegraph and issue diatribes on pertinent hot topics of the day like some furious, reactionary old goat, and we all know what Our Blessed Lord said about goats.

Lying in bed tonight, however, I put some thoughts on paper. I'm still itching for a career in writing, or even a vocation in it and have been musing on a new publication me and some Catholic friends could start if the Will, God's will, that is, and Grace were there, along with a holy and generous benefactor. Lord knows, I'm ready if someone's got enough to stump up for a first issue. Don't worry I can do it on the cheap at the Resource Centre. Thanks to a friend who came round last night, my computer has been healed of its terrible virus (My word! How on earth did that get there!?).

I've got the computer, I've got Adobe InDesign, Photoshop and all that and I could finally use my arty desk top publishing skills and flair for ranting in print and designing a new, clever, funny, traditional and orthodox without being stuffy-and-up-its-own-arse, highly inspiring Catholic publication which will finally hammer the last nail into the coffin of The Tablet, which, let's face it, is a magazine so naff that even the Housing and Council Tax Benefits department in Brighton, where I used to work, would probably not accept it, opting instead for old copies of OK! and Hello! as per usual. Still, its important to keep some copies of The Tablet by because winter is here and its always useful to keep something back in case there's an energy crisis and we need stuff to burn.

Talking of Housing Benefits, by the way, when I was an admin assistant there, it was my job to keep the stock of absurdly assorted leaflets up to level in the waiting room. I went there today to make a claim for Council Tax benefit and to my astonishment there was not a single leaflet!
I asked a former colleague, "Where have all the leaflets gone?"
She replied, "Well, we thought in the end that we were bombarding people with leaflets all the time and decided to knock them on the head."
'Crikey!' I thought. 'That's a dramatic u-turn!'
I must say it feels a lot more relaxed there and feels a bit more like a wine bar, with 30s style Brighton tourist board posters, odd patterns on the walls and a man at the counter wearing a trilby. Either the team leader is a massive pot smoker or there has been some serious rethinking at the top on customer service-related issues. There weren't any posters on domestic violence or even some LGBT Brighton related nonsense. The poster wall was bare. There weren't any children's books out. There wasn't even the poster for 'Life' counselling and support for those considering abortion or who had procured one which was always there before. Joke...albeit in bad taste.

Anyway, I digress. Browsing over the Latin Mass Society's highly informative publication, 'Mass of Ages' (See the excellent interview with the 92-year-old Maestro Perpetuo of the Sistine Chapel who worked under five Popes, here), I couldn't help thinking that our Holy Mother the Church, at least in this country, needs a new magazine which is less newsy and more entertaining, fusing the splendour and glory of the Faith with humour and sheer, unadulterated, holy joy. The front image of the first issue could be a cartoon of an English Bishop celebrating Mass in the Extraodinary Form with an altar server kneeling behind with a gun saying, "That's good...real good. Now don't turn around until the bit where it says, 'Dominus vobiscum'. You're doing well. Play your cards right and you'll be back at Bishop's House tomorrow."

Well, its an idea anyway. I'm sitting on my tod all day looking for jobs and getting knock backs from temp agencies and even KFC refused my application just two minutes after I did an online form. Two minutes! Was it something I said!? I should have called up Head Office and said, "Look, whatever it is you didn't like, I can change! Can't you see I was born to flip fried chicken all day long?! I love fried chicken. I come to your restaurant every month and sure I feel dirty afterwards but I like that bucket deal! Look! I even wrote you a song about it...Listen...Oh, I see. so you don't like the song?! Well, stuff you and stuff your chicken, y'b*tch! You've probably given my job to some immigrant so I'm off to join the BNP! So you can keep your job now, because in a years time I'll be employed and you'll be in a gulag in on the outskirts of Swansea!"

I can't stay at home all day staring at my fish tank, filling it with second-hand glassware, crockery and cheap plants and arranging an elaborate background tank facia of George Best celebrating a goal with Bobby Charlton, Morrissey, the Holy Father and St Therese of Lisieux all day long, while labouring under the illusion that just because I can play the guitar and overlay some riffs, melodies and vocal harmonies on free recording software that I can single-handedly come up with a best-selling album, all day long, now can I? I was so bored this evening I even sacreligiously took my illuminous St Anthony and plunged him in the fish tank, in honour of his preaching to the fishes, only for the Saint to miraculously float back to the surface, what with being, err, plastic.

My computer is all fired up and ready to go and so am I. Now, where is that application for a 16 month 0% balance transfer? A man in the bank told me to do that today. He said, "I shouldn't be telling you this because my boss is over there, but if you go with Virgin you could get a 0% balance transfer for 16 months and then, just before the 16 months is over you find another balance transfer so you don't have to pay 15% interest if you can't pay it off..." What a kind man! May God bless you, ______ , helpful employee of ____________ Bank, Brighton, just in case I ever get famous and get you the sack by accident. I know its not likely but there we go.

I haven't said my prayer for the Holy Souls today. I like to imagine a Holy Soul arriving in Heaven and then shouting down from the Pearly Gates, leaning over a cloud, "Hey! Cheers, buddy! I owe you! Bigtime! Oh, he can't hear me. How silly of me. Anyway, Peter! Hi! Hi! Like the Keys, Bro. Great look! John! John! Which John are you, again? John of the Cross, you say? Hmm...Sorry. Name rings a bell but...Heck, Jack's the name and I am happy to meet you, sir! Real happy! Mark! Mark! Great Gospel! Loved your Gospel...Hey. You know what?! I love all you guys! You guys are great! Now, where's the party at? Oh, I see. Oh...Oh my God...Holy..."

I think, by the way, that somebody already has copywright on 'Playboy', but the title would need to be quirky. Any comments, thoughts, rebukes, suggestions and disproportionately inflated injections of cash welcome.

How Darwin Changed Politics

I don't have a huge readership, I know, but I've found someone who deserves free advertising, apart from Our Blessed Lord, Our Blessed Lady, the Saints, the Holy Father and my parish Priest. A chap called Dennis Sewell has written a book called 'The Political Gene', which, from what I gathered from Radio 4, rips into the effects of Darwin on politics and society. Social darwinism, which seems to be rising quicker than a Nazi salute nowadays, developed in response to Darwins theories, which when applied to the observation of nature, explain a great deal, but when applied to human society, lead to poor, weak, lame, mentally ill, unproductive, terminally ill, and many more people being bumped off because, well, it's just 'natural selection'. It was Darwin who was, Sewell contends, the darling of the eugenics movement that informed the mindset of the Nazis and, he contends, it is coming back...

And of course, as Catholics we can say that its been here quite a while now and wonder did it ever go away. The 1967 Abortion Act, sold as a compassionate response to maternal deaths in illegal abortions has led to the destruction of the most vulnerable in society - the unborn. Pre-natal scanning is a tacit approval from the medical profession to sanction the termination of human beings with downs syndrome. The Human Fertilisation and Embryology, also, is an advancement of it, as the scientific community prepares to harvest 'strong' genes from 'weak' human embryos. Then we have the euthanasia drive coming from vast swathes of society including the House of Lords, the House of Commons, the Law Courts, the Mass Media and the rest. I would add, also, that there is also the stigmatisation of those with mental illness and the huge rise of the SS, Social Services, who it would appear, are under instruction to take away children from fat people in case, Heaven forbid, the children should ever get fat. Anyway, The Times have a review of the book which is a little expensive but I should like to hire it from the library or receive it as a gift for Christmas...

'When Eric Harris arrived at Columbine High School on the morning of April 20, 1999, he was wearing a “Natural Selection” T-shirt. Before Finnish student Pekka-Eric Auvinen murdered eight people at his high school in November 2007, he wrote that “­stupid, weak-minded people are reproducing…faster than the ­intelligent, strong-minded” ones. “Death and killing is not a ­tragedy,” he went on, “it happens in nature all the time.”

Auvinen’s YouTube handle was “NaturalSelector89” and both boys, says Dennis Sewell, were “amateur social Darwinists”: they used evolutionary theory to justify their atrocities. In this polemical mini-history of the political abuses of Darwinism, Sewell shows how they were part of a miserably long tradition, taking in everything from forced sterilisation to mass murder. It is a disturbing and provocative book.

Sewell admits that Darwin himself was a man inclined to gentleness and modesty, but early enthusiasts for his theory could be a little redder in claw. In Britain, Darwin’s friend Herbert Spencer — who coined the term “survival of the fittest” — argued vociferously against state aid for the indigent. If people “are sufficiently complete to live, they do live”, he wrote; if not, “they die, and it is best they should die”. Or, as Darwin himself observed, “excepting in the case of man himself, hardly any one is so ignorant as to allow his worst animals to breed”.

Fabians, socialists and all kinds of nefarious interventionists eagerly signed up to the cause. HG Wells complained that “we cannot make the social life and the world peace we are determined to make, with the ill-bred, ill-trained swarms of inferior citizens”. In America, campaigners paid homeless men to walk around wearing sandwich boards with the legend “I am a ­burden to myself and the state. Should I be allowed to propagate?”'

Click here for the full Times review of this highly commendable book...

Baby RIP

The mother said 'kill it', the high court judge thought, 'kill it' and the father eventually agreed and said, 'Okay, kill it'. The judge commended them both on their bravery and compassion. This appears to have been another High Court case in which truth and a human life have been sacrificed in the name of secular sympathy. It also appears to have been a case where everyone had a lawyer except the human being whose life was at stake.

How dare I say that?

On November 8th 2009, The Times published this article on a woman, now aged 19, with the same condition, studying at Royal Holloway, University of London and living independently who made a public plea to the parents not to withdraw life support.

Like Sheep Without a Shepherd...

"Don't leave so soon! Come back! I was just getting started! Now, where was I? Ah yes, women priests! Now, what I think is..."

Fr Ray Blake has picked up on a wayward Bishop in a country of wayward Faith, Ireland. One Bishop Willie Walsh has been calling for the usual Catholic-Lite TM changes on Church teaching, such as the ordination of women priests, changes to Church teaching on divorce and remarriage and homosexuality in an effort, presumably, to refashion the Church in his own image and basically turn it into the Anglican communion.

When a lay person muses on these things, even if they are celebrities, such as Tony & Cherie, the damage is limited by the fact that they are a lay people and are therefore not taken too seriously. When a Priest says this it is seriously harmful. But, when a Bishop says this then it is very, very, very damaging to the Body of Christ.

When a Bishop or a Priest says, "I think we need to open up a debate on..." then you know they are about to inflict a blow upon Holy Mother Church. Unfortunately, the mass media, who are always all too willing to pick up on a juicy story to undermine the Catholic Faith and the Papacy, do not treat the words of such mavericks with the scorn they deserve and fan the flames of publicity.

Those charged with authority within the Church should say, "The Holy Father and I are on one accord on this subject matter. It is clear to me why this teaching must be so. The reasons for it are this teaching are threefold. Firstly, ___________ etc. The Holy Spirit has always guided the Church. God has spoken through His Church and the matter is therefore closed. Thank you for the interview and may God bless you."

Perhaps I could design some 'Bishop Media Response Cards' and send them to Bishops so that when they have interviews they can preach the Gospel rather than their personal, heretical and highly damaging opinions.

A lesser discussed aspect of the Sacrament of Penance is that our sins have not just offended God, imperiled our souls and caused injury to others, both spiritual and temporal, but that we have wounded the Body of Christ. A part of our penance is that we make satisfaction not just for offending God but for wounding the Body of Christ, that is, the Church. Like St Paul, who heard Christ say, "Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou Me", that it can be hard when you are 'kicking against the goads'.

Yet, with these renegade Bishops, and we know it is more than a couple, there is no sense of reflection on the damage they are doing, the seeds of confusion, dissention and heresy that they foster. Having been charged with such an awesome duty, such a High Office within the Church, the Judgement, surely, is harder on them, for they have in their care so many souls. There is nothing more damaging to the unity of our Holy Mother the Church than an heretical Bishop charged with the Office of being Shepherd to his Priests and to the Diocese.

The quinquennial visit ad limina apostolorum of the Bishops of England and Wales is approaching in January and if you are concerned that your Bishop is 'out of line', the time to write to Rome to alert the Vatican to his dissention is NOW!

Now, where is my Basildon Bond paper, fountain pen and ink well...

MPs: A Persecuted Minority?

The Commons at its most effective?

After some investigation I could only find one 'good man' in Parliament. Her name is Helen Goodman, MP for Bishop Auckland.

Janet Daley today in her Telegraph blog suggests that outlawing 'gay hate' would create a thought-crime, since, she says, 'the government is trying to pass a law on “homophobic hatred” by the end of this parliamentary session which would make it a crime to criticise homosexual conduct or practice. They are determined to overturn repeated attempts by the House of Lords to insert a “free speech” clause into the Bill which would distinguish between acts of discrimination or victimisation, and the mere utterance of disapproval or condemnation.'

I would add that it could also, in future, see the arrest, fining or imprisonment of Priests, Bishops or Laity who preach against homosexual acts and civil partnerships since it would be a public offense to criticise homosexual culture. So, before the law gets passed we should get all of our 'gay hate' speech out before it becomes illegal. Here we go...

The act of homosexuality is a grave, serious and mortal sin which can and should be confessed in any Catholic Church across the globe.

While it is true to say that God by His very nature is not vengeful, rather patient and loving, the act of homosexuality remains one of the four sins crying out to Heaven for vengeance. Like all mortal sins, if it is unrepented before death then eternal salvation is most certainly placed in jeapordy.

The homosexual is advised according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church to unite his sufferings to that of his Saviour and, by persevering in the Faith and in struggling with his condition, while having recourse to the Sacraments which enable him to grow in holiness, he should courageously accept his share in the sufferings of Our Lord Jesus Christ. He is called, like all Catholics, to become a faithful friend of Our Lord Jesus Christ and insodoing become a Saint.

There we go...That wasn't so bad was it? How long I wonder, before MPs, outlawing thought and speech find themselves having to create a law protecting MPs from 'hate speech', because, as every day passes, it seems, the anger against this frighteningly anti-libertarian group of amateurs in Parliament grows and grows until finally the BNP get 20 seats in the House of Commons at the next election and the country tears itself apart.

Mandelson 'Cleverer Than Me', Says Satan

The Telegraph reports that, 'in a move that will see yet more power passed to the First Secretary, Lord Mandelson is expected to be increasingly used by Downing Street as the minister put up to “sell” the Government's message to the public. Lord Mandelson could also make history as the first minister to make weekly televised briefings. They would be broadcast direct through the Downing Street website.'

But what hasn't been reported is that Mandelson actually popped the real Prince of Darkness, Satan, to the post. Both Mandelson and Satan were selected for interview for the Orwellian sounding position of 'Minister for Information', but it was decided that Mandelson outshone Satan in terms of deviousness, cunning and sheer, unadulterated, propensity to wicked forms of deception.

Satan, speaking off the record, said, "Well this is just typical. First I get thrown out of Heaven, then my evil plans for the eternal death of the human race are thwarted by Christ and now this just adds insult to injury. I wanted that job, and all credit to the man Mandelson, he is cleverer than me, but I must say I still feel deep down that I taught him everything he knows. He basically took a trait of mine, wicked deception and took it another step further. Being Minister for Information would have been the ideal place to spread lies and deceit and I would have thoroughly enjoyed the role. That said, I wish him all the best and he knows I'll always be on hand to offer my advice."

A 'Bishop' Who Needs a Kick Up the Arse!

A comment on the All Souls Requiem Mass at St Mary Magdalen Church celebrated in the Extraordinary Form, by 'The Cardinal' on Valle Adurni's blog.

"I am a bishop, and I certainly do not understand this liturgy. Marionettes wearing birettas with grim looks on their faces is not what I understand by celebration. A soprano soloist who brings the opera house into church with her Bel canto is not an adornment to the sacred liturgy. A deacon who has never been taught how to hold a thurible correctly....Shall I go on? The whole thing was infinitely depressing. If you are going to do these things, for heaven's sake do them properly."

Can't you just hear the howls of the demons as they are sent into the squealing pigs!? If this guy really is a Bishop then his comment is depressing, but at the same time, heartening, because we know that a liberal Bishop who is less than loyal to the Holy Father has just seen the future and guess what, it isn't to his taste! Let's just examine that video once more...



Ah...beautiful, isn't it!? Now, let's analyse 'His Lordship's' comments.

1. "I am a bishop, and I certainly do not understand this liturgy."

Well, since the publication of Summorum Pontificum, written by His Holiness, explicitly asked Priests and Bishops to liberate the Traditional Latin Mass and at least make themselves familiar with it, should the Faithful ask for it, then you're really not doing your job properly. The Successor of St Peter has spoken and you've more or less told him to shove it. I wonder how that reaction to the desires of Pope Benedict XVI, now gloriously reigning, will be met by St Peter at Pearly Gates. May I suggest that given that the Vicar of Christ has asked you to do something, that you seriously consider doing it, for the sake of your soul and the souls in your care, lest you and they all be damned to a circle of Hell in which 'Shine, Jesus, Shine' is blasted out 24-hours a day with no hope of reprieve or consolation.

2. "Marionettes wearing birettas with grim looks on their faces is not what I understand by celebration."

The Traditional Latin Mass demands solemnity and devotion and how much more so the Mass for the Dead. I suppose that your idea of an All Souls Requiem Mass involves liturgical music from the B52s performing a live version of 'Shiny, Happy People' at the Communion Antiphon. This was a Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, of prayers for the dead, not a 'community celebration', unless that is you are talking about the Angels and Saints welcoming our departed brothers and sisters in Christ into the Biggest Ceaseless Party ever. This side of Heaven, who can say? But I'll bet that God was so pleased with the devotion and prayerfulness of this Mass that He demanded the release of an extra hundred thousand souls to be invited His Kingdom.

3. "A soprano soloist who brings the opera house into church with her Bel canto is not an adornment to the sacred liturgy."

Well, I sang in that Choir as well. It took weeks of practise, of rehearsal to get the Sanctus and the Libera Me right and if Faure's Requiem isn't good enough for you, then frankly, I'd recommend St Jude, because in terms of liturgical and musical taste, you're a lost cause. I thought, and many other parishioners thought, that the Pie Jesu was absolutely beautiful. What with a small choir boy with a sublimely angelic voice not being on hand, we went with the next best thing and she was good. Having heard reactions at the after Mass reception, I can tell you people thought it aided prayer and that the occasion merited it.

4. "A deacon who has never been taught how to hold a thurible correctly...Shall I go on? The whole thing was infinitely depressing. If you are going to do these things, for heaven's sake do them properly."

It was All Souls Day. By all accounts, All Souls Day is not a day for dancing, what with the graves of our loved ones being so nearby. Regarding the dead, Our Lord said, "Blessed are those that mourn." He didn't say, "Blessed are those that 'celebrate'." There are of course great days of celebration within the Church, All Saints was particularly rousing, but as the Psalmist says and as also sang by The Byrds, 'A time to laugh, a time to weep etc.' I've been learning to serve the Latin Mass myself and I can tell you, it is more intricate than the Novus Ordu, personally I get nervous, especially kneeling so close to the Consecration. Next time I might have to take some valium beforehand because I have the tendency to tremble, what with being on my knees so much while on top of that being in the Presence of the King of the Universe.

The whole experience inspires awe and sometimes fear, for the All-Powerful God is being made present on the Altar. Now, 'my Lord', I may not always get the Latin Mass right, in terms of the words or the actions and even the Priest (and Deacon and Sub-Deacon) make minor liturgical mistakes every now and then. The whole point is that we learn from these mistakes and try to improve the next time so that God may be glorified by His clergy and servers by assisting at Mass more impeccably. I am quite sure that the Lord looks kindly on those who seek to follow the advice of His Vicar on Earth and overlooks their errors. After all, better to try and make mistakes than to stubbornly go against the wishes of the Holy Father because if you tried, you might get it wrong, because that, 'my Lord', would be Pride.

Bash the Bishops!

£37,000 to £41,000 plus benefits. Incredible. We can't even raise £100,000 for a Church building that is falling down and feed the hungry on the soup run and the Catholic Bishops Conference is advertising for a lucrative post for Marketing, PR and Fundraising! Meanwhile, the same Bishops are closing Church buildings around the country. Outrageous, scandalous and shocking! Bash the Bishops! Marketing and PR, eh? Well, here's some marketing and PR for you. £41,000 a year to 'raise the profile of the Catholic Church in the UK'? I can't wait to see some of the marketing ideas because coming at that price, they're bound to be well worth it! I fear, however, that this could see the roll out of the biggest nationwide parish Church poster campaign for FairTrade tea, coffee and cakes in the history of the World...ever! It'll probably be digital and involve widescreen plasma TVs.

At least we know the person hired will be solid and orthodox in their Catholicism because the post is being advertised in The Guardian, that bastion of religious freedom, respect and firm and loyal Catholic identity! Also, I'm sorry, but am I missing something? There are Priests, bloggers, widows and lay people doing more to 'raise the profile of the Catholic Church in the UK' than any marketing, PR executive possibly could and certainly more than the Conference of Bishops. Why? Well, people can tell we're not doing it for the money!

It is funny, isn't is, that the Bishops of England and Wales so rarely comment on the exponential growth of Catholic bloggers in the new media raising the profile of the Church and the Faith of Christ while the Holy Father commends us. I mean, anyone would have thought that they didn't appreciate it at all, really. Good grief! £41k!

How much was St Francis paid when he 'raised the profile of the Church'? Maybe the Bishops should take a leaf out of Pope Sixtus V's book, who, I learned very recently was a Franciscan Cardinal who upon being voted into the Papacy threw down his crutches, stood upright and exclaimed, "All my life I have sought the key of Heaven and now I have found it!" He went on to continue to live Franciscan poverty, cut costs dramatically and improve the lot of the Poor and all the needy of Rome and found time to drain the marshes, which may sound a footnote but I'll bet they needed draining! Bishops! For the love of God and His Church! Drain your marshes and start with this marsh, the position of Development Manager! I remain the Pope Benedict XVI's humble and obedient servant and yours!

Click here for more outraged comments on Damian Thompson's blog.

Social Darwinism Alert!

BBC Radio 4 last night aired a programme in which the issue of 'evolutionary psychology' was discussed, with, along others, Steve Jones, the famous geneticist (I have a friend who knows him, indeed who was taught genetics by him and he absolutely hates the Catholic Church) and David Willets MP (Con). The programme, 'Aping Evolution' was really quite offensive. I was not listening to it intently while making some pasta and tomato splodge with sliced olives and mushrooms in a haphazard attempt to find a mate, sitting on my tod in my eco-flat (honestly, I didn't wash, so my pheromone levels were high, but heck, still nothing happened!), until I heard the words 'evolutionary psychology'.

A few of the parishioners went to a recent British Humanist Society debate on Darwin at a Brighton pub and warned them of the dangers of Social Darwinism, that Darwinism as a theory is fine but that it was influential in Hitler's ideology, so I thought it worth a listen and turned it up.

The programme, marking the 150 years since the publication of Darwin's 'The Origin of Species' grabbed me by the scruff of the neck when Steve Jones and then David Willets MP began discussing evolutionary principles in relationship to human behaviour. Now, before you all start shouting, “Creationist!” at me, hear me out. As mentioned in the programme, there are distinct trends in human behaviour which can be explained in terms of evolutionary theory, even psychology. You can say, as was said, for example, that the type of partner you go for can be for genetic or defined very loosely, 'evolutionary' purposes. Say, a lady might go for a wealthy, powerful man who appears virile for genetic purposes, because she believes she'll get a strong gene pool for her babies. A man might go for a lady because of her sexy, childbearing hips. Admittedly, this is not what the programme presenters said, prefering to cite that the lady would choose this type because she'll get a better orgasm out of him, ignoring the whole question of children altogether conveniently for later!

The programme then focussed on the procreative habits of the wealthy and successful and compared them to the poor and less financially well off and addressed this in terms of 'evolutionary psychology', because, the programme asserted, the poor have children younger because it has been shown that poorer people live less long. 'Okay, let's just allow the scientists that one even though it must be a little bit more complicated than that', I thought, but then a female interviewee, the name of whom I didn't catch was trying to explain her confusion regarding why more poorer, younger women don't take the option of, and I quote, “perfectly safe and free abortion”. Well, what can we say? I suppose that you should look again at the theory of 'evolutionary psychology' and ask the question, 'What could be more unnatural as a process and more self-destructive to young mothers and their offspring than abortion?' The lady didn't even say contraception. She said, “free and safe abortion”. The next question you have to ask is, 'What is the psychological, evolutionary or possible good outcome that could come from procuring an abortion?' The next questions you have to ask is, 'Why should poor mothers want to kill their children? Why do you 'evolutionary psychologists' want them to?'

The 'great leap forward' on the evolutionary scale, as it appeared from the presenters, was not one of procreative and fertile mothers, rich or poor, but the female denial of womanhood and motherhood by means of sacrificing children for, you guessed it, careers. These poor mothers, Willets asserted, should be using 'self-control' and that is something obtained by having in mind a purposeful future such as a career. This was asserted despite the fact that another female presenter mused upon the fact that career women were leaving children too long and risked infertility. Well, self-control is all very well and noble but when 'self-control' turns into an abortive culture at the high altar of a career and money you have to ask whether the presenters were, in a round about way, saying, 'Poor women should abort because it just breeds more poor women and men, because, if they just knuckled down and got a career there'd be less poor people and more wealthier people'. Nice, eh? The social Darwinist's dream of turning human beings into capitalist cogs in the money machine begins to reveal itself.

The perplexity of human sexuality was then explained in terms of 'evolutionary psychology' and the reason it was so eerie was that it, like so much social Darwinism, it did not allow for Free Will. How does this theory of human psychology, for example, explain the fact that many women contracept for years? Is this at all beneficial to breeding, fertility and producing children in general, even if you have found a virile man? Homosexuality was not mentioned, which, whatever you believe in terms of morality is tantamount to reproductive suicide in men, nor was masturbation which is about as much evolutionary use, as my friend always says, 'as a spare cock at an orgy'. And this is, of course, the great danger with social Darwinism, that is, Darwinism as applied to human beings. It denies Free Will and Conscience and morality begins to be lost in the genetic soup of human decisions. There is no morality for the atheist geneticist because we're programmed to do whatever we do and nothing is attributable to us as individuals in terms of human responsibility. It is fundamentally amoral and when people show themselves to take morality seriously and, say, don't abort their children even though they are poor, the atheist geneticist cannot understand it.

Then, to cap it all off, the presenters examined among other 'teams', such as football teams, groups of school children and the number of 'close friends' people claim to have and decided that the 'evolutionary psychologist's' research had led them to believe that the in-built genetic number with whom human beings desire to form close friendships is between 12 and 15. So, it was asserted, this is why Our Blessed Lord took Twelve Disciples, not because He was the Son of God and He was building the Church upon the Rock of St Peter and the Apostles, but because Our Lord was programmed to do so because of His 'genetic make-up'. You can just imagine St Peter after having declared infallibly Our Lord to be, 'the Messiah, the Son of the Living God' only to be told by Christ, "Blessed art thou Simon Peter, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you but My Heavenly Father. Thou art Peter, the Rock and upon this Rock I will build My Church and the gates of the Underworld will not prevail against it," only for Our Lord to continue, "Oh and by the way, I just thought I'd mention that I chose you guys in particular because I needed around twelve Disciples because that's the amount of people it feels good for human beings to form close relationships with due to our genetic, 'evolutionary psychology', because, if there is one thing that's going to mark our time together it is going to be feeling good!"

In fact, good point! How do 'evolutionary psychologists' view vocations to the Priesthood and Religious Life? Again, sadly, the atheist geneticists worldview does not allow for a little bit of Mystery and prefer social darwinism, which is a little bit of history repeating itself.

St Mary Magdalen's Sin Tin

I've had an idea, for both myself and the other parishioners of St Mary Magdalens, that is, if they wanted to go along with it. Quite a few of us have these St Mary Magdalen Building Fund money tins which are sealed, basically so nobody can break into them to buy fags when they've run out of cash. I don't seem to be putting much of my spare pennies in recently and so I've had the idea of making financial reparation for sins. A not particularly new idea but one quite neglected by the Faithful, perhaps since those who misinterpreted the spirit of Vatican II opened up the windows of the Church to the foul stench of Protestantism. I've composed this small price list...

Sins Against Chastity............................................................................................50p
Sins Against Temperance.....................................................................................25p
Sins Against Charity..............................................................................................75p
Unholy Presumption/Despairing of God's Mercy.............................................£1.50
Swearing/Blasphemy............................................................................................40p
Fornication..............................................................................................................£5
Recourse to Sorcery, Mediums or the Occult....................................................£6.66
Over-Drinking/Drug-Taking/Gambling...............................................................£3.40/£2.80*
The Use of Artificial Contraception in Marriage................................................£3.98
Sins Against the Poor such as refusing alms to one who asks..........................£5.99
The Sin of Sodom....................................................................................................£50/£500**
Wilful Murder..........................................................................................................£1,000
Membership of Secret Societies, Freemasons etc..............................................£5,000***

This scheme could lead to a decrease in sin, an increase in virtue and a steep increase in the coffers of the Building Fund. I'm thinking of asking if monasteries and convents in the UK might also like to be involved in the scheme because we could make a lot of money out of Brothers and Sisters who hate each others guts. And seminaries too! In just half an hour I have already made the Building Fund 50p out of this audacious and industrious project and I'm sure there is more money to come!

Crikey! How much money would we have raised from Tony Blair and Cherie too if they were involved in this money making scam...I mean scheme! If this plan catches on, St Mary Magdalen's Church could have its very own indulgences system and a marble Sanctuary quicker than you can say Jack Robinson in Latin! Jackus Robinsionis!

Please note that this scheme is one of Reparation for sin and in no way does it denigrate the Sacraments of God which we should have recourse to for all of our sins, mortal, venial or crying out to Heaven for Vengeance. If you do not keep up with your sin repayments your possessions are liable to be removed from your property and sold to pay for the Building Fund and St Anthony's Bread by England & Co Baliffs Ltd.

*£3.40 for lager/spirits and mixer drinkers and £2.80 for ale/bitter drinkers, with a flat rate of £3.40 for heavy gamblers and drug users.

**There are two rates for the Sin of Sodom, £50 if it is an unforeseen and unplanned sin of human weakness and desperation and £500 if it is chosen deliberately out of lifestyle choice in rebellion against our Maker and Redeemer. It's basically the Church's response to the 'Pink Pound'. I figure £50 is enough to make you think twice and hold fast to the Cross of Christ or have a blow out every now and then and pay the fine. Honestly, if the town council can do this with parking spaces, I see no reason why the Church shouldn't do the same with penitents...After all...it is Brighton and its time we cashed in!

***The price is high for the Freemasons active in the Church because, let's face it, their financial connections are so good and they're bound to be loaded, whether they are ignorant of the secret society's perniciously anti-Catholic agenda or not.

Conversations in Purgatory I

James: “Hello, Mark. Fancy seeing you here! What are you in for?”

Mark: “Oh hello, James, how long has it been?! Good God! Fancy seeing you here! I'm making reparation to God's Justice for the sin of lust at the moment. As you can see I am engulfed in the purifying fire right now. In particular, for that affair I had in 1896. My wife understood, but clearly the Lord didn't! Oi, will you let off some! Honestly, people here say that souls used to get released from Purgatory much quicker in the olden days. What with the Faith declining in various Western parts of the Earth and far less faithful pilgrim souls praying for the Church Suffering because they think it is too 'traditional', things are going slower here nowadays. Honestly! Do those Tablet readers think that God has changed!? Oi! I'm trying to have a conversation here! Let off some, will you!?”

James: “You had an affair? Well, I never! I never had you down as the sort, you old rogue you! Well, I never did that, I was always loyal to my wife, you know that. All in all I was a model husband and I still died a holy death.”

Mark: “Hmm...So what are you in for, James?”

James: “The sin of Pride, Mark. That's why I have to stand here with a sign saying, 'Poor Sinner' while other people laugh at me and deride me. It's all very humbling.”

Mark: “Uh-huh. Hang on...O holy joy! Oh thank you! A holy woman in Clapham just said a prayer for the forgotten souls! O hello, sweet Angel of God! You beauty! O joy of all joys! Gotta go James, I've just been released! Hope to see you in Paradise soon!”

James: “O that we shall meet soon merrily in Heaven! Bye Mark! ... John! Fancy seeing you here! It's been so long! What are you in for?! Murder, you say! Oh my God! Well I never! I never had you down as the sort! Well, you're lucky to even be here, aren't you mate?! I never took a life when I was alive. I didn't even harm a fly! Oh John...John! Don't leave so soon, we were just catching up! Oh bugger...Talking of buggers, Jack! Jack, me old mucker!...”