Monday, 28 December 2009

"Dear Mr Dawkins, I thank God for you everyday..."

H/T Valle Adurni

Richard is a 'clear thinking oasis' or perhaps rather more of a mirage of cool fresh water in the spiritual desert that is the poor British Isles. Bathed in celestial hues of blue and white, the official Dawkins webpage is a 'site' to behold. A seemingly new addition to the website has been explored by Valle Adurni who senses a spirit of the evangelical 'testimony' about the site, where born-again non-believers stand up and proclaim their new found faith to all and sundry, while the online congregation claps and says, "Amen, brother! There ain't no Creator! Praise Dawkins!"

Strikingly anti-Catholic, rather than being merely anti-religion, the 'Converts' Corner' has stories of former Christians, who it appears are ignorant of their own Faith, who have finally allowed the pure bright light of reason to dawn upon them like a shaft of sunshine streaming into a gothic Cathedral...The experience of the discovery of God's non-existence brings new believers in 'Atheism' great joy, an experience which is followed not too long after by a personal breakdown as the enthusiasm of the initial 'faith experience' dissipates and the new non-believer has to undergo a course of counselling in order to explore deep and complex personal issues related to their upbringing. Often their experience is akin to an unspiritual spiritual high. It goes something like this...

New non-believer's 'testimony'...

Dear Mr Dawkins,

"Oh, Mr Dawkins! I was blind, but now I see! I remember so well the day I invited you into my life as my personal scientist, my teacher and guide! When I read your book, it were as if Jesus, or someone like Jesus (though obviously not Jesus because He is not God since I no longer believe in His Divinity, for behold, God ceases to exist when I lose my faith) came along and spat on some clay and rubbed it over my eyes just like in the Holy Gospel which isn't Holy because it wasn't based on science or empirical evidence and none of it took place in the lab!

And when I opened my eyes, you, Mr Dawkins alerted me to the truth. We are genomes! There is no God, nor are our souls like unto Him, made as they aren't, in His Image! We don't have souls, we only have genes! There is only oblivion at the end of our lives! We shall not be judged according to our deeds, words, thoughts or omissions! Oh, happy day! When Mr Dawkins showed me the way! Now I can have as many abortions as I like and be guilt-free! I can have as many sexual partners as I like and there is no moral impediment nor recourse to God's inexhaustible mercy since it ran out since there is no God since you chased Him away with your Reason stick! You big God fighter, you! You man of steel! Reason has thought Him out of existence with a mere cursory glance over a Guardian article highlighting 150 years since the publication of The Origin of Species! Not that I've read the actual book, mind! Now, I can abuse the poor and not think ill of it, since the old law of love has given way to the new law of the survival of the fittest! Some friends think I'm a bit full on and call me a 'The God Delusion' basher, but I don't care what they think...

Now thanks to you, Mr Dawkins, I can wake in the morning and dedicate myself to nothingness, futility and an abyss of nihilistic despair and spiritual desolation, comforting myself only with take-aways and a string of unfulfilling sexual affairs! Oh, Mr Dawkins, you have shown me Reason! And Reason is like God even though He doesn't exist nor deserves a capital! I mean, He's not Paris is He!?

O my Richard, let us make you king and you can lead us in the worship of the goddess Reason, although she is not a goddess since we don't discriminate anymore gender-wise and God doesn't exist anyway! Leave discrimination to those evil Catholics! Oh boy, this is exciting...this is how it must have felt if you were on the winning side during the French Revolution! I'm ripping up my Rosary and using the beads to make an abacus or a model of human DNA to keep pinned to the wall below my picture of you! I hope one day we can meet and urinate through the letterboxes of those foolish priests and you can tell me all about your interest in eugenics. It's high time society persecuted the 'unfit'! I thank God for you everyday! Or at least I would if I believed in Him!

In the absence of an All-loving Redeemer, Richard, you will just have to do! I love you Richard and I am yours! You've changed my life! I'm going to volunteer for you and spread your contrived, half-baked bullsh*t in every pub in the land! O Richard! I'm your biggest fan! If we don't meet in this life, I just know we'll meet in the one which is not to come, since there is nothing, just deadness!

Yours lovingly

Miss Richelle Dawkins (formerly Mrs Perpetua Immaculata Catholicam but changed name by deed poll...)'

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