Courtesy of The Times Women-Relationships Section. A harrowing real life story in the 'Dear Tanya' problem page. This must constitute a very common reason for abortions in the UK. Many women feel bullied into abortion by men. The ease with which it is procurable only makes the problem worse. There are so many facets to this letter with regard to sex, relationships, marriage, commitment, love and all of this without considering the unheard voice of the baby, that I thought it worth posting. The real life stories of abortion are most certainly not what the abortion industry wants people to know about. They would rather it be sanitised and cleansed from pain or guilt. Meanwhile, women have to pick up the pieces and carry that pain.
I’ve been feeling really messed up recently. I can’t put my finger on any one cause but I had an abortion earlier this year, on the same day that my sister gave birth to her second child. This was my second abortion, but unlike the first one, I had wanted to keep this child.
I had hoped that my boyfriend would accept the pregnancy. Instead, he said that I was forcing him into the situation; as soon as I told him I wanted to keep the baby, he said he was leaving. I tried to explain that I felt attached to this one and didn’t want to go through another abortion but he blamed it all on me and his mum and sister backed him up.
When we first started in our relationship we both agreed that we didn’t want children, but a couple of years ago he cheated on me and when we got back together I explained to him that my feelings on that had changed.
When I agreed to the abortion, he said that we’d start trying soon, maybe next year, but I’m sure he won’t stick to it. I feel that I should leave him but I’m scared that if I try to start all over again, at 28, I’ll be too old.
Sad story, eh?