The lenten kebab. The kebab, the penitential meal of such unworldly ascetics such as St Anthony of the Desert, was something I punished myself with last week to make satisfaction for sins. Yet, even though I had deliberately chosen a meal which would make even some of the most ascetical and mortified saints of old say, "Hold on, there, Laurence, don't take this Lent to extremes and put yourself under the guidance of a spiritual director!", somehow, garlic mayonnaise found its way into my penitential meal. I found this out when the kebab man said, "Garlic mayo with that?" I somehow managed to deceive myself that garlic mayonnaise wasn't the same as normal mayonnaise, since it had garlic in it.
The accursed mayonnaise found its way into some tartar sauce that I had with fish and chips. Is there no end to the pernicious evil of this condiment which my poor sinful heart desires more than its Maker?