Tuesday, 2 March 2010

"Hey?! Did Someone Order Whitebait?!"

With earthquakes, wars, volcanoes (there's probably one going off somewhere), violence, hatred and an aggressively militant homosexual tendency prevalent all over the Earth, it is worth remembering that every now and then a story comes about which gladdens the heart.

Courtesy of The Telegraph

Australian town, 326 miles from river, hit by raining fish

Residents in a remote desert town in Australia, 326 miles from the nearest river, are recovering after witnessing two days of fish raining from the sky.

Lajamanu in the Northern Territory, population 669 (as if, somehow, the total population of the Northern Territory is an important statistic), has seen hundreds of small white fish fall from rain clouds with many still alive. Weather experts in Australia believe the fish, spangled perch, were sucked up in a thunderstorm before being dumped over the tiny town.

Mark Kersemakers, the senior forecaster at the Australian Bureau of Meteorology, said: "It could have scooped the fish up to 40,000 to 50,000 feet in the air.

"Once they get up into the system they are pretty much frozen. After some period they are released."

Joe Ashley, 55, from Jabiru an outback town in the Northern Territory, said: "Usually fish are in the water now they are falling out of the sky what if anything bigger falls out of the sky next?

"It could be crocodiles that would be real scary."

Yes, that would indeed be 'scary'...and likely! Still, stranger things have happened at sea, so, people of Littlehampton, be very afraid.

It is very clearly a Sign from God to the people of this Northern Territory to take Lent seriously and eat fish instead of meat, especially on Fridays and that they, like us, are totally dependent upon Him. They should think themselves lucky to have been witness to so great a Miracle of God. So, they had better take Him seriously or the Lord will smite them with large amphibians next time. That'll learn 'em!

Anyway, the Spirit just told me there's someone at the back of the room with a back problem. I'm a-gonna pray for that person gets slain in the Spirit and pray the Lord Jesus heals him. Yes, I can feel the power of the Lord. Lord heal him. Lord, I pray that you heal that man at the back of the room and that he gives generously to this mission of the Church of Healing Power Ministries, just started by me, Laurence England, chief pastor of CHPM. Do I hear £20? No, that's £40...The Lord told me He wants you to give £100! Yes! Praise God for the classic ca-, I mean massive new church we can build with this money! Oh, think of the souls!

Oh well, it was worth a go. If it works for the evangelicals, maybe it will work for me. God knows, I'd hate to be unable to render unto Caesar what is Caesar's.

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