Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Cleaning Job Application



I'm currently doing a book-keeping course and need time to do it, as well as blogging furiously, being a conservative Catholic, reacting to news stories with audible phrases such as, 'I don't believe it...Shocking...Well, I never...', such is the life of a 30-something reactionary. Also, I want to get a gardening business off the ground but its recession time and everybody's indoors with swine flu and haven't got the money. So, I just called up a firm because they had some part time hours for a cleaning job, just something that could bring in some money for fags and food and perhaps a glass of beer.

The application went something like this...

Cleaning Firm: "Hello, Amateurs Cleaning Firm, Jeff speaking, how may I help?"

Me: "Oh, hello, I saw your advert on the jobs centre website looking for a cleaner."

Cleaning Firm: "Oh, okay, well what is your first name?"

Me: "Laurence"

Cleaning Firm: "What is your second name?"

Me: "England, like the country."

Cleaning Firm: "Do you have a passport, drivers licence or a birth certificate."

Me: "Yes, I do."

Cleaning Firm: "Can I take a phone number?"

Me: "Sure, it is....."

Cleaning Firm: "Okay, well, we will let you know within 14 days if you have been successful in your application."

Me: "What? That's it? How do you decide who gets the job? What is it? Lucky dip or something!?"

Cleaning Firm: "I can't tell you how we operate our recruitment policy but if you've been successful you'll know within 14 days."

Me: "Okay, thanks, bye then!"

I must say I am beginning to wonder if my reputation precedes me!

1 comment:

Physiocrat said...

They probably didn't like your accent. Try replying in Latin next time, it doesn't give as much away.

33

33 The really, terribly embarrassing book of Mr Laurence James Kenneth England. Pray for me, a poor and miserable sinner, the most criminal ...