Saturday, 25 April 2009

Fat Tests for Hedgehogs

The Government, following new developments in public policy calling for 'fat tests' for the obese, has extended the policy to hedgehogs. The hedgehog on the right has a bad diet, smokes and doesn't do enough exercise. He has been told by his GP to 'sort it out' and go on a hedgehog fitness training programme in Ipswich. All hedgehogs are to face the 'fat test' to see whether they are to be accepted equally among hedgehog society or made to feel rubbish and be sent to a State Fat Camp.

The National Hedgehog Liberty Group, 'Hogwatch', have released a statement concerning the new proposal:

'We, the National Hedgehog Liberty Group, 'Hogwatch', are appalled by the Government's new scheme, because Hedgehogs shouldn't be forced to get fit for the Government's sake, or change their diet. While obesity among hedgehogs is a problem, and a health issue, we think the Government's fat tests for hedgehogs are far too draconian and cruel.

I learned last night a new animal fact from a man in the pub who knows many animal facts...The only predator that can kill a tortoise is the eagle, by the method of picking it up and then dropping it from 100 ft in the air. Then it flys back down and picks the poor dead creature to death. Aren't eagles horrid!?


Tanya said...

I will have to warn the prickly ones in the garden! A while ago I visited Tiggwinkles wildlife hospital in Haddenham near Aylesbury, Bucks. which had lots of hedgehogs, and other wild animals. It's well worth a visit.

Incidentally, many people think that hedgehogs like bread and milk, but in fact, it is very bad for them and upsets their digestion, as well as being bad for their teeth. As they are carnivores, eating mainly worms and beetles, it is better to give them dog or cat food. To see exactly what they eat, click here:

You can even buy hedgehog houses for them. I am thinking of getting one..

I think they are fascinating creatures, but so noisy at times- very snuffly. I remember seeing a male and female doing a 'love dance' in my parents garden, where the male was courting the female by circling round her, and the female was turning round on the spot. I would have thought they would get too dizzy for too much frisky fun after that!

Janet Baker said...

I know I always do.

Physiocrat said...

Sounds like hogwash to me.

Tanya said...

Henry, you've just left me with the image of hedgehogs enjoying a bubble bath! Hogwash indeed.

The Pontificate of Abuse

I have in the past had some experience of abusive relationships. They are profoundly painful even when you love the person involved. It ...