Wednesday, 9 September 2009


Unless these two baby fish have a gift for hiding which even Osama Bin Laden would admire, I'm afraid that new baby fish 'Resurrectionem' and 'Baptisma' are now 'Mortuorum', having presumably been 'Et' by one, or possibly two of the semi-tropical fish.

Rest assured that I will not rest until the culprit is found. All six remaining fish have been extraordinarily rendered to a small tank called 'Santa Magdalena Bay' on a nearby shelf where normal codes of fishy rights are not recognised. Here they will be interrogated until one of them admits to the atrocity. All methods of interrogating will be considered, including waterboarding. No, wait...That might not work. Some kind of drip, drip sleep deprivation. No, wait...That won't work either.

This World is so cruel. It is sad that some fish will have to pay for this outrage. I'm going to put the fish inside the tank on 'orange alert' and ratchet up the terror threat so that the innocent fish spend the rest of their days living in fear of the next attack. I know, having watched the devilishly cunning behavior of the last US administration, and probably the current one, that if I can keep the fish in a perpetual state of fear then habeus corpus and the fishy constitution soon won't be worth the paper they are written on. Gradually, over a period of time my evil plans for a 'one tank order' will triumph, with one charismatic puppet fish at the head enslaving them in a diabolical plan for tankal domination.

Mwa-hah-hah! Mwa-hah-hah! Mwa-hah-hah! Mwa-hah...Okay, I'll stop now.


gemoftheocean said...

Start with the BIGGEST ones and be MERCILESS!!! Threaten to bore them to death with Barack Obama's speeches. They'll be singing like canaries before you know it.

pelerin said...

Fish singing like canaries? Now there's a thought. If you could train them Laurence they could be entered into one of those tv talent contests then the world would be their oyster and they could raise money for the building fund!

The Bones said...

A great idea. Gregorian Chant or polyphony?

pelerin said...

Better start them off on scales!!!!!!!

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