If Atheism Day Replaced Christmas

The year is 2025 and Richard Dawkins has achieved his goal of destroying Christiantiy. What does the new Atheist Republic of Great Britain do at Christmas?

Well, I guess you'd have to somehow replace Christmas Day with something. You could call it 'Atheism Day', celebrating the height of the atheistic winter season.

You may as well keep the Christmas Tree, because, anyway, those Christians nicked that idea from the pagans, right? Atheism Day decorations could be as pictured left to remind the citizens of the glories of atheistic regimes of the 20th century, such as mass murder on a hitherto unprecedented scale.

In the local churches, which by then will have become centres of atheist learning, passages are read out from 'the new Gospels' of The Selfish Gene and The God Delusion and maybe God is Not Great. Then, after a big meal, everyone sits back and enjoys some of the classic science lectures of Professor Steve Jones. Then, adverts for companies say things like, "Discover, this winter season, the magic of Atheism...Buy her something special this Atheist Day."

Oh kids would love it. Love it they would. No Santa stories though, because, as I'm sure Dawkins told his children, he doesn't exist and atheists do not feed their children with myths, be they religious or not. Kids would still love it, because we all love and appreciate 'the magic of atheism'. I don't know why but it just doesn't seem to have the same ring about it.

Comments

Patricius said…
Something like this DID in fact happen in the Soviet Union. Christmas trees became "New Year trees" and Father Christmas was renamed "Grandfather Frost" -who brought the children "New Year presents". I visited Leningrad at New Year 1977 and met some selected "Young People". I tried to quiz them on religion and Christmas and learned that "some people" did attend the Orthodox Liturgy on 7th January (Christmas according to the Orthodox Julian calendar) "because the ceremonies are very interesting".Nevertheless it was not a public holiday. A mere twenty years or so after the collapse of the Soviet empire and people are already forgetting that the great atheist experiment has already been tried...and found wanting!
Anna Atheist said…
Don't like trees either, pagan = religion; beside although they are green, they aren't Green. I mean killing green trees isn't Green.
Scout said…
I understand Richard Dawkins enjoys attending a carol-singing service at his local Anglican church at Christmas. He is also a fan of the beauty of the old King James Bible. He has no intention of abolishing the traditional Christmas :).

Talking of Christmas trees...a few years ago I recall some nutty Christian evangelicals moaning about a children's picture group which included a picture of a black Christmas tree. Black Christmas trees, according to them, are Satanic...
Neal said…
Patricius, you're half right, half wrong. Grandfather Fronst (dud maroz) and his sidekick snegurichka (snow girl) were invented in the early twentieth century as secular analogues of Santa clause, but then Santa clause was only popularised in the 1930s/40s in America.

Also, you entirely miss the point. January 1st is the major public holiday in Russia, and has been since the nineteenth century. Christmas was (as it was in the West) a much smaller, religious ceremony. I don't know why you are upset that Christmas is kept as a religious holiday and New Year is used for the secular festival of light (as it was for millenia), surely it's better than getting Christmas confused with a pagan holiday