New Dawkins Release for 2013

Celebrity atheist, humanist, secularist, polemicist, zoologist and controversialist, Richard Dawkins, is to make his second foray into the world of children's literature in 2013 with the release of his new book, The Selfish Gened Giant.

The storybook for children, which Dawkins maintains is a modern tale which surpasses the work of the "deathbed admirer of the leering villain in the frock", Oscar Wilde, is a modern, more scientific take on the well-loved children's tale of the redemption of an aged, miserly git.

As many will be aware, where in Wilde's classic, a giant erects a wall to keep children out of his garden, reaping the consequences of a continuous winter, in Dawkins' new version, the selfish gened giant does all he can to hoard his wealth, derived from the fact that every time he speaks about God, his bank balance goes up and another cheque comes through the door.

The selfish gened giant, however, believes that life is a 'survival of the fittest' and even though there are poor children and adults outside his massive house, he does nothing to help them, nor thinks of inviting them into his garden to play, nor the poor to benefit practically from his financial largesse.

After months of winter with no other seasons in sight, spring suddenly returns when the climate changes thanks to the work of the Department of Defence and some innovative geo-engineering experiments undertaken thanks to the work of the Royal Society scientists who are his mates. The children slip into a hole in the wall of his garden and play in the trees, except for one corner of winter where a little boy is too small to climb into the tree. The selfish gened giant tells the child to go elsewhere and find some other rich atheist in whose garden to play before placing an ASBO on the boy who is sent to a State owned institution in Jersy to be ritually and satanically abused by care workers and popular TV presenters.

The boy returns in tears to the selfish gened giant after he escapes and tells him that he is sorry for ever bothering him and he now appreciates the marvels of genetic evolution, Darwins theories and why it is that some must be strong and survive, while the weak should be left to die off. The boy admits that he is genetically inferior to the selfish giant. Taking pity on him, the selfish giant gives him a glass of water and a copy of his new book about Darwin, evolution and how all Christians are mental cases who should have their children removed from them.

The selfish giant explains that he's terribly sorry to have to inform the boy, but ultimately, we are just genetically driven to look after number one and that if the boy can't look after himself, he wonders whether his life has any value whatsoever. Years pass and the giant continues to enjoy the trappings of fame and fortune, but never sees the one special boy who kept pestering him. One day when he had grown old, he again sees the little boy, who appears with wounds in His hands and feet. The selfish gened giant sagely tells the boy to go to an NHS hospital and sort his life out. Cold and starving by now, the boy goes to the NHS, is examined, placed under the Liverpool Care Pathway and dies from starvation and dehydration.

Dawkins said that while he enjoys looking down a microscope at organisms and bacteria on his days off, taking breaks to slag off Catholics in the press and on Twitter, in order to attribute to them and their "vile Nazi Pope" all kinds of calumny at any opportunity, occasionally he will curl up with a good book. Mostly, these books are his own published works, but Dawkins also admits to liking Oscar Wilde's literary back catalogue. Of Wilde, Dawkins said, "It's a shame he gave up his great intellectual abilities and decided to believe in God, putting his faith in something other than himself. I would have respected him more if he'd stuck with Bosie and campaigned for reform of the English child destruction law and for gay marriage but I guess you can't have it all."

The Selfish Gened Giant will be available in 1 April 2013, published by Penguin, priced £19.99.