The West Vs Russia Over LGBT Issues: It's War!

Fry, homophobes, fry! Are Olympic-sized disagreements over the promotion of homosexuality set to go nuclear?
With Olympian comedian Stephen Fry striding like a colossus across the World stage, courting Prime Minister and marriage hitman David Cameron in a pub over a couple of pints and a packet of pork scratchings, the question on everyone's lips is: 'Has the World has been plunged into a new era of 'cold war' uncertainty?'

New images show that the UK Government has developed a range of big gay nuclear bombs with which to deter Russia from continuing to enact or act on any legislation that might in some way prohibit the promotion of homosexuality in society and especially to Russian children.

Fry, discussing his meeting with David Cameron was frank about the exchange with the Prime Minister.

"Basically," said Fry, "I told the Prime Minister - if these Russians don't want sodomy being promoted in the streets, the media and in schools, are you going to do the decent thing and nuke the lousy homophobes? Because I'm such a well known TV personality, because of my natural charisma and Wildean wit and because I gave him a free dinner for him and his lady wife at my pub, how could he resist? He said to me, "Stephen, I know what you are saying and while I take everything you say on board, I will mention some of the things you have talked about to Vladimir Putin at the next G8 meeting. It is time Russia got with the programme and I'll have a pint of Harvey's, please."

The new range of LGBT nuclear warheads bring to public attention what has long been suspected - that the West takes the battle for gay rights and homosexual marriage so seriously, it is even planning to take the rainbow flag into the next World War, placing it in the heart of Moscow. The image above is from the first test of the big gay nuclear warhead which was unleashed on a part of Egypt in which some Coptic Christians were huddled in a Church, fearing for their lives as they ran from the Muslim Brotherhood. 

According to unconfirmed reports, the UK Government decided that, knowing Egypt was going up in flames anyway, while telling the mainstream news media not to mention the burning and looting of over sixty Churches in the space of 48 hours, now would be a good time to test the rainbow warhead, because within a week or two Egypt will look like a fallout zone anyway. 'And anyway', said one civil servant 'they were only bigoted Christians, after all'.

Gay campaigner and activist Peter Tatchell, however, remains unconvinced that the reports of a nuclear homophobia deterrent are true and that David Cameron was really only interested in a free drink and the promise of a 'lock in' with some TV celebrities at a future date.

The veteran human rights and LGBT campaigner, said:

"It's great that David Cameron met Stephen Fry but what's the actual outcome of this meeting? David Cameron said he would support nuking Russia into oblivion but he hasn't said he'll do it  himself. We want to know whether he'll press the red button if they don't back down on the prohibition of homosexual propagdana."

The Grapes, the East End pub in which Cameron and Fry held the meeting is said to have a 40-foot nuclear bunker built into it, accessed via a secret shaft underneath the cellar, which is said to have the capacity to hold nearly the entire 1% of homosexuals who make up the diverse population of the United Kingdom, but sadly, nobody else.

News like this is leading some international observers to wonder whether it is a coincidence that the big gay warheads tested on the Copts have arrived just at the time that national service is to be reintroduced in a private members bill to the United Kingdom. As a matter of historical fact, the United Kingdom has had national service every time there has been a world war. Are the major World powers shaping up for taking us into WW3 over gay rights? All the major indicators suggest that the cold LGBT war could be about to get very hot indeed.

Comments

a****y said…
Very, very funny. Best thing I've seen today. Cheers:)
David said…
It gives a whole new meaning to "gaydar"...
Mark Lambert said…
Did you listen to PM on Radio 4 yesterday? Eddie interviews a Russian about this, I'd be interested in your comments:

BBC Radio 4 PM
BJC said…
Thing is what you write isn't so far-fetched. Its easy to see the West using the 'LGBT card' as a nuclear weapon to undermine everyone who gets in their way. We've already seen it with Blair in Africa and last week we saw it with the liberal media in this country joining forces with Cameron and Obama against the Russians. Its sure to be front and centre of everything by the time we get to Sochi in Jan 14. I can just see the BBC planning their attack right now. Peter Tatchell will already be booking his ticket.

It will be interesting to see how the Russians react long-term. Will they cave in as well? I'm sure Putin sees the 'anti-gay' laws not just as a way of uniting the Slavs but also as a way of dividing the West. Once the politicians get back from their summer holidays we are in for an interesting autumn/winter.
Amfortas said…
Doesn't the Russian attitude and casual acceptance of violence make you feel just a little bit queasy? The enemy of your enemy is not necessarily your friend, to quote the very lovely Michael Voris.