Friday, 31 October 2008

More on "Weeding Out Gay Priests"

Rector: "Young seminarian, we have brought you to this room to test you psychologically to make sure you are not, you know..."
Seminarian, "Ah, I see. Righty-ho..."
Rector: "Did you like the ewoks in Star Wars. Remember, the little fluffy animals loved by ladies and men of a um, queer persuasion?"
Seminarian: "Certainly not! I was only too pleased when those cute little furry animals were slaughtered by the Empire!"
Rector: "Good answer!" Now I am going to show you some pictures. One is of Marilyn Monroe in that scene from The Seven Year Itch where the dress goes up a bit caused by the hot air in the car park."
Seminarian: "Right, okay."
Rector: "I will judge your response."
Seminarian: "I say, what a beautiful lady, I must say rector I feel a bit hot under the collar."
Rector: "Good answer my man. You're doing well. Sorry could you just shake my hand."
Seminarian: "Certainly."
Rector: "Splendid, a good firm, manly handshake. Good chap! Now I am just going to show you a range of soft furnishings, including curtains, a range of different coloured silk pillows and a chaise-longue."
Seminarian: "Oh how charming."
Rector: "Now, I want you to tell me which is your favourite coloured silk pillow?"
Seminarian: "The...erm, blue one?"
Rector: "I'm sorry that was a trick question, and by no means are you worthy of consideration for the Priesthood because you are clearly the type of man who likes soft furnishings. I'm afraid the seminary is not for you."
Seminarian: "But I...I"
Rector: "Next!"

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