I found this from Doreen E. Carter, on the Facebook Campaign to Stop Dr Nietschke
'In these times I feel so compelled to divulge my life, and the lives of others as they were or are at this time, or in the not too distance past. I am telling all this not for attention, not to stand on the street corner and get attention as stated in the Gospel. But to shed another side to dying and death. I am a 53-year-old woman, a mother of three grow sons in their thirties. I was divorce and annulled after years of mental and emotional abuse, and a complete lack of Christ present in our union. After planning out my future as humans do, thinking of a good marriage, to someone with a firm faith in God, but not perfect, and sharing the next 30 some years, I was told I had growths in my pancreas. I thought 'good bye to all those dreams, silly me', To make a long story short, I am alive two and half years later, after extensive difficult surgeries. But it has returned, it is not large at this time, but it is causing minor pancreatisis. But I still live every day, happy and joyful.
It has given me the opportunity to re-think my priorities; heaven, purgatory, life, and entertainment. Not in that order and not consumed by it, but reflective. What can I do with this? Is this an opportunity to serve God or be frightened, and think about all the things that might be? Do I lose sight of Jesus, and God the Father's love for me, and think above the basic human level? Do I allow myself to be selfless, and allow God to tell me, what the good is within this disease? Imagine two years more, and either spending it in horror, and depression, or do I spend it in loving all around me, and including them in my growing number of intentions. God will not abandon me, not even in the final hours here on earth. He will carry me through whatever it is that is too come... We say, " Jesus I trust in you." So do we really believe it? Can we just look around us, and see the need for offering all our sufferings for the conversion of souls? Do we waste it?
Do we lose ourselves in self pity, and how will we end, in horror, in fear, in losing the opportunity to bring others to God and Jesus by our silent suffering, by our offerings? I say, no, God does not waste this. It is so valuable. Suffering does not just come physically, but emotionally. Because we are human we have so many offerings to give. The loss of all your earthly hopes and dreams...
I had five sisters, who all had wonderful husbands, and marriages. I used to wish that someday I too would have that marriage where we shared our love, in faith in union with Christ. I wished to perhaps have additional family, his or adopted, and travel with this special person. To have someone to talk to and share the deepest of feelings with in trust. So much to offer to God. I tell God I offer it for souls including my own. If I live two years or a year or more, will depend on the speed of the growths or God's will for a miracle. I do not ask for the cross to be removed.
But I will live in joy and thanksgiving for this special loving opportunity God is giving me and I pray many others. I do not need to know who, just to know I could do this is humbling before my God. It should not be considered a personal choice, but it is actually truly the reason for suffering, it is actually another way, thank God, to save ourselves from losing the presents of God when we die. We are given a way to get to the finish line through illness and death. I thought to myself, when it became reality, would I want to face Christ when I pass over, and tell Him, I did my best. I was not perfect, but I tried, and He shows and tells me, "Doreen, these are all the souls you will bring home by prayer, and these are the souls you will bring home by offering all your suffering and loss to me." I want to please him, to appease His heart, so wounded by this world. Death too has so many merits and opportunities. Passing up this for suicide, we have no way of knowing who will suffer or lose.
We also cheat those who love us, and leave them with emptiness. Closure comes when we leave the world in a natural state. All is balanced for a reason. Suffering brings about many emotions, compassion, patience, love and it truly brought me growth. I gained something from caring for many patients, and my dad, and brother and sisters. It was hard to watch them, but I knew God's will was being lived out through them, and they knew it. My dad refused pain meds, as he sat in his chair facing the Divine Mercy image, and the Cross. I offered it to him on several occasions, and he at times could not lift his head, but would point at the image. He told me, Jesus had not escaped from the pain, he was tortured, beat senseless, and nailed to a cross. So, we will always have His offering that will give us strength in our hours. He will not abandon you, He will embrace you, and you will allow your life to have it's full purpose, it's full value. It has great value.. Jesus give me grace!'
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