The 7 Deadly Sins of Catholic Blogging

Lust (Latin, luxuria)

Blogging lust is characterised by the unseemly and obsessive viewing of sumptuous liturgical vestments. It is a danger to the soul. Like St Augustine when he gasped for God in a Milanese garden, it is vital we attribute to vestments their rightful beauty, but afford to God the love which, with misplaced and misdirected love, we give through our fragile fallen human nature, to Sacred Vestments, knowing that God is Beauty Itself and alone should be loved. For highly to be loved is the Maker of Sacred Vestments, rather than the Sacred Vestments in of themselves.

Gluttony (Latin, gula)

Destroying an entire packet of midget gems and two bottles of wine, while blogging...alone, while listening to Morrissey....alone.

Greed (Latin, avaritia)

Blogging Greed is characterised by the near constant and obsessive viewing of your stats, while looking always for more viewers. It is a danger to the soul and is linked to the sin of Pride, the sin through which all other sins emerge. Other chief traits of the sin of blogging Greed are going on other people's blogs and thinking, 'Why aren't I on their blogroll? Are they demented or something?' and commenting on other people's blogs, not because you think their post was good, but because you want more people to look at yours.

Sloth (Latin, acedia)

A double-edged sin. It can result in getting up at 11am, not going to work, spending all day blogging defending Holy Mother Church, while your life and finances are falling around you and all your healthy human relationships crumble. Juxtaposed, it can also mean a dearth of blogging posts because you are just being plain lazy, even though the World has gone mad and Obama is orchestrating the killing of babies at home and abroad from an Hitlerian bunker in the White House, while still, somewhat miraculously, responding to invitations from highly dubious liberal priests to give lectures and receive honorary degrees from Catholic Universities dedicated to Our Lady, so entranced, near hypnotised, as they are, by the rabid, bloodthirsty abortion-mongerer, that when he finally comes round, they cover up the Most Holy Name of Jesus lest the earthly ruler be offended.

Wrath (Latin, ira)

'So much injustice in the World! How long, O, Lord, how long?' While the heresies and error throughout the World, nay, oftentimes infecting Holy Mother Church, result in mayhem, death, and liturgical dancers, remember that through the media of blogdom your holy mission of raising awareness of the destructive force of evil, destroyed by the power of Christ, must be guarded at all times by the holy fire of Charity, so that, while condemning error, you never give into hatred for anyone. Wrath results in a turning away from one's neighbour, a failure to see our own culpability and the hand must never be quickly laid to the sword. For he who lives by the sword, the same shall die by it.

Envy (Latin, invidia)

'He's got more followers than me. He's got a lot more followers than me. Why haven't I got more followers? What's wrong with me? What's so good about his blog? Oh, I see, his is better than mine. Oh, well that's just charming! Why can nobody see and acknowledge my genius? The World has gone mad. Why can't I get paid by The Telegraph or the Catholic Herald for ranting like a badger about liturgical abuse? Flippin' Oratorians...It's like the mafia! One day, they'll know. Oh yes, I'll show them. Oh boy! I suppose his blog has more hits than me because he's better on the net than me, isn't he? Well, URL size isn't everything, it's what you do with it that counts...etc'

Pride (Latin, superbia)

'Oh my...that was a good post. Oh yes, that'll get comments. Oh yes, that'll get them thinking. Oh yes. That was frickin' majestic. Aren't I great? Now, where's that Armchair Theologican Award. There it is, on the mantlepiece. You beauty. My precious...come to papa...'