With concerns growing that local Councils around the United Kingdom are running out of salt to put on the road, the Government are to make a plea for UK Citizens to voluntarily use their domestic salt on their town's streets, in their neighbourhoods and beyond.
The heavy snowfall has taken the Government by total surprise as such vast covering of snow is believed to be only a 1 in 18 year event. Salt also depletes when you keep it in stock by 10% a year and so is expensive to keep topping up in warehouses. So Councils are urging people to take whatever salt they have and use it on their streets.
Donald Parsnip, 52, of Haywards Heath has been out today, mucking in and helping out his country in its hour of need.
"How much salt have you laid down on the A412 today Donald?"
"Well, to be honest, after I heard the urgent local government plea for my salt, I went straight to the nearest bypass and took with me however much salt I had, once I discovered the council were running out."
"And how much was that Donald?"
"About 75g. That was all I had in the house. That meant I was able to salt from here, this lamp-post, to here, where my finger is now, which I guess is approximately 34cm2. I had wanted it for my fish and chips but it was a small price to pay to keep our roads safe."
"Well, it may not seem like much, but its thanks to the unsung local heroism of people like Donald that Britain's streets are being kept safe in this freak weather system we're experiencing. And let's face it, what with salt being so dangerous for us, causing among other preventable health problems such as heart disease, nightmares, involuntary ticks and social ineptitude, it is probably a good thing that more and more people are saving the safety of their streets by literally throwing all their salt onto the roads. On behalf of all of Britain, thank you Donald."
"Pleasure."
No comments:
Post a Comment