Welcome to Brighton...

This is not what Brighton is about...is it?

The first thing you see when you walk out of Brighton station... Now that's what I call a child friendly town.

According to the producer of the condoms, 'Mates', these new condoms consist of:

'A revolutionary new condom from Mates Mates Skyn™ is a revolutionary condom made from Sensoprene, making it softer and much more flexible, all with the strength of a latex condom. In short it feels like the closest thing to wearing nothing.

• Clinically proven to enhance sensation
• Combines the strength of premium latex with the sensitivity of an ultra-thin condom for that Skyn on Skyn sensation.
• An ideal choice for those with a known of suspected allergy to natural rubber latex.
• What are you waiting for? Visit www.skynrevolution.co.uk to experience the Skyn on Skyn sensation for yourself.

You can request a free sample, register to be a Mates Skyn™ Tester, or enter the competition for your chance to win a revolutionary experience on the other side of the world*!

Join the Revolution!
*Terms & Conditions apply
Available in packs of 12.

What are you waiting for? Children?

Where's Mary Whitehouse when you need her, eh? A couple of things. First, I've never in all my days seen any billboard advert this size in Brighton. It's huge, covering the Queen's Head pub and most of the 'Brighton Peace and Environment Centre'. The first thing you think about upon arriving in Brighton is sex and condoms. If that were not the case before, it sure is now! I'm not sure how ecological condoms are. Don't birds eat them and choke or something. Or is that fish?

For sure, its an ad taken out by a private firm, but it really does send a message to those visiting (adults and children) about what Brighton is like. We love sex (though we hate condoms) and we think of little else.

Obviously, it could be construed as a little offensive as well, to some, some religious nuts and elderly types, but hey, those people just need to move on into the 21st century where sex is a commodity, like rubber latex, people are a commodity, like latex, and just about everything is a commodity, including children.

The ad is interesting for many reasons. Despite the fact that 'normal' condoms are shoved in teenagers faces in order to 'combat STIs and unwanted pregnancies', the ad suggests that some people 'hate condoms'. Who are these weirdos? I thought this was the answer to Africa's problems? We've been told to believe that everyone loves condoms. So, a new line of 'wonder condoms' are produced which nobody could possibly 'hate'. They're changing the script!

The reality, of course, is that a humungous proportion of Brits already use condoms or some kind of artificial birth control. If everyone stopped using them, the Government would go ballistic. So, who are those in favour of the 'revolution'? I'd posit it is not the people using condoms...If people stopped using condoms and artificial birth control, the army would most likely be called in to spay a third of the population.

Mates, the brand, was launched in the 1980s by the walking lubricant, Sir Richard Branson. It was bought by Ansell Group, a huge multinational firm with a global presence. So all you anarchists and people who just hate multinational corporations choking the World with their greed while choking the birds with their un-eco friendly condoms, switch to another brand who aren't like Ansell. Good luck finding that brand...

Finally, despite the advances of feminism across the West, women are still portrayed as objects for sexual gratification on gigantic billboard posters, as evidenced by the advert itself, and not a single feminist even yelps a mild protest. The question for Brightonians is: Is there more to Brighton than sex and the sexual objectification of the human person? Answers in the comments section, please. Last I heard, Caroline Lucas is a feminist. She must be upset.