Join my Campaign for a UN International Day of Overt, Shameless and Blatant, Discrimination! For just one day people of all different creeds and colours, religions, sexualities, abilities and social nuances should have the opportunity to say, 'No', to whomever they please, on whatever basis they choose.
It is time to put aside our political correctness for just one day a year, in which we can say 'Yes!' to whomever we please, at our own liking, and 'No!' to whomever we please. Church community centres will be able to say to gaggle of cackling witches, who want to hire the hall, "No, I do not think that your group is entirely suitable for this space, please try somewhere else."
It would also mean that gay clubs would be able to say, to the straight couple who have an unnerving passion for Abba, Kylie and the Village People, "No, we can't stand seeing straights canoodle all evening, sorry, gays only. That kind of stuff you get up to is sick and unnatural and, like, so 1950s. Get with the programme, darlings!"
And yes, it means that for just one night only, the local Freemasons lodge can say, 'No', to whoever they please, on any basis they choose when locals try to enter to find out what the rituals are that actually go on at those places...They can even say, 'No' to black people and women if they want! That's right, for just one night only!
Also, for just one night only, bouncers at clubs will be able to say, 'No' to people who are homeless or vagrant on the doors of classy establishments and say, "Sorry, for just one night only we are saying 'No' to the homeless. You look rough and people might feel intimidated, so why not look elsewhere? There's a soup run down the road, try there."
For just one day, and one day a year, women who didn't want a child for a myriad reasons could say to their unborn child, "No! The time is really not good for me. I have plans to travel and a career to think of and, besides, you've probably got an abnormality anyway, so no, you cannot live."
Landlords at pubs will be able to say, 'No' and to discriminate against the smoking community and upon seeing someone try to get in with a cigarette, will be able to say, "Excuse me, but we're a non-smoking establishment because we're all health freaks consumed with nothing but our personal well-being. Behold, the temples of our bodies. Please leave your cigarette at the door else you can't come in."
It means that for just one day only, the local council, when employing someone will have their 'Equal Opportunities' forms on their desks when choosing a new recruit for a secretarial position, and, upon realising they haven't employed a disabled, asian, transgendered, ladyboy in the past few months will be able to say, 'No!' to the other non-disabled, non-asian, non-transgendered, woman for no other reason than to fill a 4.5% quota!
For just one day, doctors, nurses, and all health professionals who disagree with abortion, refuse to go against their sacred conscience and refuse to take part in it would be told by their employers, "No! If I were you, if I wanted to keep your job in this profession I would go along with the system and perform the abortions, otherwise your career is distinctly at risk."
For just one day, that's right, just one day, an air hostess who wears a crucifix will be able to be told, in no uncertain terms, "No! You cannot wear a crucifix publicly because it might offend someone on the plane who breaks into a sweat at the sight of Christ upon the Cross!"
And yes, just for one day, let's break out of the chains of political correctness and allow the Police and Community Police to say to the beggar with a can of lager in his hand, "No! You cannot drink that here because its a bye-law which forbids public drinking on every day of the year apart from Gay Pride day, because God knows, we can't offend the gays! But you don't look important so you are different. Come on, hand the drink over and I'll pour it away in front of your face."
And what is more, for just one day, men, women and entire families seeking asylum in the UK from war-torn countries, political and religious persecution, genocide and unjust imprisonment, could be told by the Home Office, "No! We understand that sending you back to your country of origin may result in your torturous death at the hands of extremists, but for just one day a year, we don't care! So sling your hook while we allow a coach of east-europeans to come in while you're crapping yourself for fear at the airport!"
It means that just for one day, an adoption agency, faced with the terrifying challenge of placing a young Christian boy in a loving home, will be able to say "No!" to the Christian, heterosexual couples who are on their register, and place him with an active gay couple instead, in order to fulfil that all important 4.5% quota! That's right! Just for one day!
That's right, discrimination for one day only! Oh what joy would that day bring! Yes, we'd all see on that day that we are all equal and all the same, wouldn't we?! Yes! We would see on that UN International Day of Overt, Shameless and Blatant Discrimination, just how far we have come as a society and that we have created a utopia in which nobody suffers discrimination at all...