Sunday, 1 March 2009

Patronage



You die and are canonised a hundred years later after a life of virtue and a holy martyrdom at the hands of rabid traffic wardens. The three miracles that got your sanctity validated were answers to prayers for one man's athelete's foot problem, a nationwide lowering of council tax bills and a urgent circular by the Bishops of England and Wales for the Latin Mass to be made more widely available in each and every parish church in the land, drawn up at the annual 'Pope Benedict XVI Appreciation Society Gala'. What do you want to be named after you?

a) A mountain
b) A bottle of wine
c) A church
d) A hospice
e) A lake
f) A street
g) A river
h) A packet of cigarettes
i) A hospital
j) A school
k) A prison
l) A wastewater management firm
m) A new disease
n) A launderette
o) A newsagents
p) A brand of chutney
q) A locksmiths
r) A floristry
s) A volcano
t) A dental practice
u) A zoo
v) An island
w) A forest
x) A dance move
y) A lighting shop
z) A fishmongers

2 comments:

Mulier Fortis said...

Definitely the bottle of wine.

I have to say that I enjoyed the mental imagery conjured up by your rabid trafficwardens...
;-)

The Bones said...

They're everywhere...stepping out of the door and seeing them walking around is like Dawn of the Dead.

33

33 The really, terribly embarrassing book of Mr Laurence James Kenneth England. Pray for me, a poor and miserable sinner, the most criminal ...