1984: A Children's Study Aid

Courtesy of the Telegraph

Four schools in Salford, Greater Manchester, have installed cameras and microphones in special training classrooms. The 360-degree cameras are so powerful that observers can see what children are writing. Although taking part in the monitoring sessions is voluntary, headteachers say they expect the majority of their staff to participate. Click here for full story...

I'd imagine that in 10 years time being a child educated in Britain will be an horrific affair. In 10 years time, living in Britain will probably be an horrific affair full stop. The day's timetable will probably go something like this...

9am Registration: Morning DNA sampling, with children's registration by voice recognition technology. Compulsory fingerprinting for all new children who've not yet been swabbed for the Government's files and so that the healthy, fit ones can be cloned.

9.15 Assembly: Live video link to Global Leader who will give children his anti-religious 'Thought for the Day' followed by Hymns to the Glorious State.

9.45 Lesson One: Anti-Religious Education: Also known as Mind Reconfiguration and Secular State Indoctrination Class in which children read and talk about the glories of the State and how it vanquished evil religion from the minds and hearts of the foolish and ignorant evildoers of old.

10.30 Break: Children may at this point enjoy a snack of one of their compulsory 5 portions of fruit or vegetables a day. If a child is found with a bar of chocolate he is suspended and sent on a State Anti-Obesity Workcamp at the special Government base in Sutton Coldfield.

10.45 Lesson Two: History Rewriting and Propaganda Class in which children are also able to develop their art skills by drawing pictures and doing paintings of the Great Leader with all the hallmarks of the 'Cult of Personality' which marked 20th Century ideological politics.

11.30 Lesson Three: Sex and Relationships Education which can and should start for children at the age of 5 upwards, regardless of the views of parents. If any parent complains that their children's innocence is being compromised, the children can be removed into care and placed under the wise and prudent guidance of the State Children's Sexuality Centre, in Weston-Super-Mare. Here children can also have 'gay affirmation therapy' or simply be neutered, especially if they are poor, weak, sickly or lacking in intelligence. Both of these processes will keep a tight grip on State-fuelled fears of 'overpopulation'. In order to keep a tight control of population children from the age of 9 upwards will be taught a special module in 'Termination 4 Kidz: Easy Home Abortion Methods'.

12pm Lunch Hour: A great opportunity to microchip any children not yet chipped by placing them in their food, which, of course is very healthy and nutritious, with an exact breakdown of the vitamins, minerals and breakdown of fat content on the underside of their plates.

1pm Lesson Four: Science, in which the children learn the art of cloning, are able to experiment on embryos and create their very own 'saviour siblings' to be stored in a vault and experimented on weekly. Should they become ill from any infectious diseases, organs and human tissue can then be extracted from the 'saviour sibling' by the teachers at will in the laboratory. Very advanced students will be able to do this themselves.

1.45pm Lesson Five: English, in which children read books by State authors, including such best-selling children's books as, 'The Day Daddy Joined the Happy Gulag in Norwich', 'Superman: The Story of Our Great Global Leader' and 'I'm Glad My Parents Disappeared, Because The State Give Me Better Toys'.

2.30pm Lesson Five: Maths, in which children try to work out how many religious people the State has killed or 'sent on holiday' over the past month. The more technologically gifted children can do spreadsheets and send them via email to Whitehall, who, on reception of the priceless information will send the child a certificate signed by the Great Leader himself.

3.15 Story Time: Most readings will be from some of the finest writings of Stalin, Hitler, Pol Pot and of course the Great Leader himself, who is the fulfillment of all of those 'prophets', but for the very young, 'Eugenics for Beginners' will be an excellent introduction to more intellectual treatises on the State when they are ready.