Government Bans God

The UK Government, not content with banning smoking in public places or anywhere someone might want to smoke, public consumption of a can of beer and taking more than 100ml of toothpaste on holiday, have now taken the drastic step of banning God.

A spokesman for the Government said, "In the end, we had to ban Him. He was a threat to our nation's security and the very idea of God filled us with terror. At this time, in a continued War on Terror, it only seemed appropriate that we should ban a source of great terror to us, namely the Triune God.

Also, He wasn't keen on our multi-faith, diversity agenda which basically says that anything goes and as long as it weakens the standing of Christianity's eternal values of Truth, Goodness, Beauty, Justice and Love, then it should be promoted. Through His Church He spouted outrageous propaganda about gay marriage, abortion, contraception and divorce being immoral and destructive both to individuals and to society as a whole and then He had the temerity to stand up for the poor, lame, unborn, weak and marginalised. For these reasons, He just had to go."

God, when asked about the ban said, "How dare they? The great injustice here is that three persons have been banned here. The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, all banned from the UK. I may just be One True God, but three persons were banned here, I tell you. Three. All I was doing was blessing people, making them holy, sanctifying them, healing, loving, cleansing and forgiving their sins and then the Government come along and ban Me. Honestly, if I were a UK citizen I'd be worried because if they can do it to Me, they can do it to you."

The Father said, "I tell you, this country is going to pay for this outrage. Oh yes, bigtime!"

The Son said, "Father, forgive the British Government for they know not what they do. I mean, just look at the economy. It's a total shambles."

The Holy Spirit said, "I still hope to touch the hearts of this Government and bring them to repentance, aiding them to restore Our Lady's Dowry to a bedrock of faith and devotion to God."