Exclusive: Photographic Dossier of Charges Against Investigated Bishop Made Public

This image was taken by a Vatican investigator into the dark and sinister ministry of Bishop Oliveri of the Albenga-Imperia Diocese in Italy. Note the Bishop's left arm and his hand clasped as if in a fist. Though the investigation has no photograph of the shocking left hook being planted on the innocent man dressed in a white t-shirt, be assured he was knocked out cold by the Bishop after the individual pleaded for the cessation of the Mass in the Extraordinary Form. That man is in a coma and is yet to awake from it. Does the Bishop care? Not a bit!

The Bishop walks around in lace, followed by other sinister men wearing lace. In this photograph it can be clearly seen that the Bishop point blank refuses a pauper (out of camera shot) any of his lace garments which he needed for some net curtains for his humble abode. "No!" cried the Bishop out loud, "Lace is for God, find your own lace you filthy vermin! If you're poor and want lace, go and see Pope Francis. He's into that kind of charitable work nonsense, but not me. On your bike, mate!"

Next can be seen evidence of witchcraft performed by the Bishop under investigation. Notice how in his right hand he carries a magical wand. Yes. He is a wizard or thinks himself as such, teaching his deluded disciples that he can perform magic with his wand. Superstition and witchcraft is condemned by the Church. How can this man be allowed to continue his wizardry without censure?

Next, a most damning charge. See five of his victims laid flat on the floor, prostrate before the Bishop. Two alarming accounts have been given of this incident. The first, that this image proves that the Bishop has told his disciples that he is God and has asked them to worship him. The second alarming account is that this is in fact five victims who were shot and now lay face down, dead, after refusing to worship him. Need we any more evidence of this horror of this man's guilt?

How did that image get in here? Sorry! Wrong slide!

This Bishop was meant to be celebrating Mass for a group of orphans from a nearby home for children looked after by the Church, but instead, he decided to go and see his favourite football team in an away match, leaving children in floods of tears. Is he sorry? Just look at his face for the answer. He's more concerned about football, watching it in his VIP box indeed, than giving pastoral care to orphans!

During his 25 year ministry, this sinister man accrued vast personal wealth and enriched himself from the pockets of poor people. He decided to live outside the centre of his Diocese which had given him perfectly suitable lodging in order to build himself a gigantic residence in the countryside modelled on a Bavarian castle. He lived there alone and never took visitors but for those he called in for 'special training' days. It is thought that it was here that the Bishop trained seminarians and priests to take nude pictures of themselves and put them online like pornographic playboys. He orchestrated the corrupt network of nude 'selfies' taken by the vulnerable priests from here.

The Bishop was given perfectly adequate toilet, shower and bath, but instead decided to build himself this luxury spa instead because the bath was, his words, "not big enough". In the image can clearly be seen priests and their mistresses being groomed for online rude photography Flickr uploading sessions.

This was the 'light breakfast' eaten by the Bishop every morning. He always ate alone. During the investigation it was uncovered that the Bishop would eat this 'light breakfast' every day. On the few occasions that poor people broke through security fencing at his luxury abode, he set rottweilers on them. They were never able to have even a chicken leg from his banquet breakfast table. It was all for him. Some days he could only eat half of it. The half he couldn't eat he would throw in the bin while poor people cried out for food outside the residence.

A list of charges is read out of the many crimes of this sinister Bishop as he is detained in an Italian mental health ward. The Bishop's answer? "I am guilty of all these charges but I'd do it all again. If it hadn't been for Pope Francis and his just investigation, I'd have got away with all of it."

And last, but not least, we now see what inspired this prelate to years of deception, robbery, witchcraft, murder, personal enrichment and intrigue. Here is the said prelate, during a Traditional Latin Mass that he celebrated often and with sickening reverence. We now see what caused this, we assume, once perfectly sane and respectable man to become so full of malice and the evidence of the kind of liturgy that breeds disreputable criminals, perhaps all over the world.

I think we can safely say that any need for any kind of transparent trial or unbiased investigation is made impossible by the photographic dossier that has somehow been made public. By rights this reprobate should be behind bars for a long time - though not for life, of course, but because Pope Francis is merciful, the best he can hope for is some kind of public humiliation and the extent of his authority over this notorious Diocese to be severely limited and another take his place, so that his Diocese can thrive like the other Dioceses in Italy, where vocations - and chaste, holy priests, unlike this sordid Diocese, are blossoming.