Pope's PR Guru to Advise Richard Dawkins
In a new PR strategy designed to undo much of the damage caused by the apparent advocate of eugenic solutions to diseases and genetic conditions, Burke proposed to Dawkins a range of different photo-opportunities and selfies to be taken and then publicised around the world's press. It is hoped by Dawkins that the image consultant will be able to recover the reputation of the fundamentalist atheist in the world's media and win back some of the support he has gained over years among humanists.
It is unfortunate for the renowned atheist scholar, Greg Burke noted, that "atheism does not naturally lead to a message that inspires others towards a counter-cultural way of life, but instead continually points to self." It can however, Burke maintained, be something that is "cultivated over time." Less imagery of the author in front of a clear blue sky with wispy clouds are said to be recommended by Burke and a more positive image of Dawkins attending a school for children with Downs Syndrome, a centre for children with learning disabilities or a soup run for the homeless, are perhaps in the pipeline for the celebrated atheist.
It is rumoured that Burke, having achieved what the Catholic Church's senior image consultants said was 'impossible' in transforming the papacy from an institution marked by a recent occupant labelled as 'a leering old villain in a frock' to one inhabited by 'the People's Pope', has been offered a lucrative deal with Richard Dawkins and could part with the Catholic Church in a transfer fee rumoured to be in the region of £30 million.
A range of disfigured people, aged and infirm people, survivors of the Holocaust and "a veritable army of babies" are said to be soon making their way to Oxford so that they can be greeted, kissed and venerated by the "good doctor Dawkins" in a radical overhaul of his previous image as a self-seeking publicity addict. Dawkins himself was unavailable for comment, but a close friend intimated that the scholar has recently been feeling a 'bit down in the dumps' over his reputation in the liberal press and that now is the time for some clear 'blue-sky thinking' on the matter of at least giving the impression that atheism need not necessarily lead its adherents into a philosophical line of reasoning that dispenses with the innate value of human life, regardless of health or genetic 'quality'.
The Vatican is yet to confirm the rumour.