"How queer. I bought a poof the other day. I lost my fags and later found them under the poof, but unfortunately the poof was so heavy that the fags are now totally bent. I thought, 'Sod this, I'm off to buy another pack of fags.' So I nipped to the local shop and bought some fruit as well as my usual fags. Outside were some beautiful pansies so I thought I'd also treat myself to them. Lo and behold who should be on the till but my cousin Nancy. "We've discounts on faggots too this week," she said. "Oh bugger," I said, "I didn't bring enough money for faggots." How queer it was to see Rear Admiral Walter Johnson in the shop as well. Turns out he left the army and now he's packing fudge down the road just to make a living. To our surprise the fire alarm went off and we all had to get out of the shop by the back door. I wish I hadn't overdressed though because on coming out of the shop the weather was bright, sunny and gay."