Official Papal Visit Song Released by Bishops Conference of England and Wales

Hot on the heels of the release of 'Heart Speaks Unto Heart', the official Papal Visit to the UK booklet by the Bishops of England and Wales, Starship, at the request of the Bishops Conference, have re-released 'Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now' in preparation for the visit of Pope Benedict XVI.

A source close to the Bishops Conference said, "This is wonderful news. This song really sums up everything we feel about the Papal Visit to take place in September at venues at least one of which is still yet to be fully confirmed. It also encapsulates Cardinal John Henry Newman's spirituality and mentions his wistful, prayerful maxim in the line, 'Baby we can make it if we're heart to heart.'"

"The 80s feel of the song, the mullets, the moustaches, leather jackets and massive perms also chime quite nicely with the front cover of the 'Heart Speaks Unto Heart' Papal Visit Guide Book, upon the front cover of which appears a candle, evocative, perhaps deliberately, of Elton John's 'Candle in the Wind'."

However, critics of the organisation and planning of the Papal Visit have slammed the re-release. One traditional Catholic layman said, "This is appalling. The front cover of the Papal Visit guide book was naff enough, but just when I thought things could not get worse, the Bishops Conference thrust this song on the Catholic community. 'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now', eh? Yeah, that sounds about right! Nothing's gonna stop our Bishops from manufacturing disaster from what should be a triumph. Nothing's gonna stop their stubborn efforts to block the Benedictine project of liturgical renewal! Nothing's gonna stop the infection of liberal theology and moral relativism from undermining the Catholic Church in England and Wales, seemingly espoused by our Shepherds. Nothing's gonna stop them...not even the visit of His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI to these once Christian isles!"

The Papal Visit Guide has caused consternation among the Catholic Faithful. One lay woman said, "Whoever designed that awful Papal Visit guide needs sacking if not shooting. The layout is terrible and after having read one article, which was a challenge I can tell you, I thought I was going to suffer a relapse of my epilepsy which cleared up when I was 14. They've managed to create a document which says in 32 pages what could have been said in 12. How much money did this atrocious document cost us!? All the images inside reflect the Bishops Conference's ongoing obsession with ecumenism and environmental concern over and above the Gospel of Our Lord Jesus Christ and the Salvation of Souls to say nothing of their obvious disdain for the penetrative and profound theological mastery of the Successor of St Peter. After you pick up the Guide, you really do just want to put it down, when, in truth, it is the designer and creator of the terrible document who needs putting down. Honestly, anyone would have thought that the Bishops of England and Wales feel very little enthusiasm for the Papal Visit at all! How many Bishops does it take to change a lightbulb, mate? I dread to think!"

The Vatican were unavailable for comment, but one high ranking Cardinal said to be close to the Holy Father was reported to have been taken ill just seconds after hearing the news of the re-release of the Starship hit. The two incidences, according to our sources in the Holy See, are not related.