Those New Beatitudes


Genty said…
You're a bit out of date, Bones. These days they are known as The Happytudes.
Blotto said…
Happy are the poor, for they are automatically holy.

Happy are the loft-insulators, for they shall live in comfort.

Happy are the migrants, for they shall inherit the earth.

Happy are those who hunger and thirst for ecumenism, for they shall get more than enough.

Happy are the mushiful, for they shall have mush shown them.

Happy are the Lutherans, for they shall finally see Constipated Martin in the Vatican.

Happy are Our Common Home caretakers, for they shall be called daughters of Gaia.

Happy are those who are pilloried for progress's sake, for theirs is the kingdom of the earth.

Happy are you when men resist you and pursue you with the truth and highlight all kinds of heretical things that you do. Rejoice and be glad for your reward will be great when it comes to the next round of promotions, for so certain implacable impediments to the new praxis treated the revolutionaries before you.

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