For the purpose of the reader's understanding in these, most sorry times!
I'd like to say a little about how the Lord our God has helped me to live with a same-sex attraction which He has rendered, with His divine grace, so minimal as to be negligible, even non-existent.
Long term readers of this blog will know that I have in my time struggled in and out of the 'gay' identity and the 'gay' lifestyle. It has been 15 years since I committed the sin of sodomy with a complete and utter stranger. This sin was so vile and contrary to the Good that I felt more shame than pleasure even in the action of carrying it out, to the point that I put a stop to the sin during the event. The gays won't like that story because, remember, nobody's meant to feel ashamed about doing gay stuff in gay world.
After this encounter, I sought, mostly while drunk, similar sexual encounters - all of this while I was a Catholic, I might add, yes even as a convert, all of which were based around the desperate satisfaction of my lust, a lust which I had continually denied even existed until I felt unable to adequately temper it. While I never committed the actual sin of sodomy again, other sexual encounters with men, too, were mortal sins of such a category that they, too, warranted God's vengeance.
I never wanted the condition of homosexuality, a condition which is intrinsically disordered, ordered contrary, in of itself, to nature, towards acts which can never be approved or receive the blessing of Almighty God. I receive, occasionally, insights into why this condition occurred in me and became such a feature of my life, early sexual experiences, memories, parental attachment, domestic life etc, but ultimately there is a part of me that remains a mystery to myself and I'm not completely sure God would have it any other way. 'In my deepest wound, I saw your glory, and it dazzled me.' (Confessions, St Augustine)
In His unfathomable mercy, the Lord did not abandon me to my unnatural lust. Because I sought Him, He took pity on me, or perhaps rather, because He took pity on me, I sought Him. Who is the prime mover, O Lord, if it is not You?
For the sake of those who need God's help to overcome this inclination, I shall say that there are various instruments that the Lord used to enable me to escape from the prison of homosexual lust and I shall name them now.
1. Devotion to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus and especially the morning offering to Him.
2. Devotion to the recitation of the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary. They who live by Holy Wisdom will not sin.
3. Devotion to the Most Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary
4. Devotion to the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy
5. Devotion to St Jude, Patron Saint of Lost Causes from whom I was given the special grace and consolation of being instructed by the Lord God.
6. Devotion to Sts Francis, Padre Pio, Anthony of Padua
7. Devotion to the Brown Scapular and the daily wearing and veneration of it.
8. Later on, devotion to the daily prayer of the Divine Office, the common prayer of the Mystical Body of Christ
9. Friday penance, Holy Lent, mortification.
10. The reading of lives of the Saints and edifying and holy books.
11. The reading of Sacred Scripture.
12. Regular Confession of my sins, mortal and, when no longer mortal, venial.
13. Holy friendship and the seeking out of good and holy company both 'online' and offline.
14. The abandonment of bad friendships with those who tread not the path of Christ and the removing of myself from the occasion of sin.
15. Almsgiving and the friendship of the poor.
16. Spiritual direction, admonition, correction and consolation from a holy priest of Jesus Christ, zealous for souls and for the glory of God.
17. Devotion to the Most Holy Body and Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ as taught by that priest, without whose guidance, I would most surely be a child of Hell.
18. Devotion to the Mass, which is the renewal upon the Altar of the Most Blessed and Efficacious Sacrifice of Calvary for us sinners, made present to us in time, the Sacrifice made most evident in the Mass of Ages, the Traditional Latin Mass and Eucharistic Adoration.
I am now 40, will be 41 on the Feast of Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary on October 7th. I have no desire to sleep with a man whatsoever. I fulfil those duties which God lays upon me in marriage, I love and cherish my wife. I currently work as a gardener for an agency at a local park, mowing lawns and strimming them, changing bins and littering parks, maintaining housing estates and parks, basically. It's not great money but I have the dignity of labour and providing for my wife and I. We don't have children yet, I hope one day we will but I trust in God and I fear nobody but Him.
May Your will be done, O Lord!
Alas, if Fr James Martin SJ had been my guide, or even Pope Francis, the one and only Jorge Mario Bergoglio, I would still be swimming in my mortal sins, I'd probably be living alone, maybe making sacriligious Communions, perhaps I would have given up on Confession, or lapsed, or maybe shacked up with some guy, probably getting sodomised regularly, probably drunk out of my skull. I'd perhaps never have listened to holy and good counsel or thought there was any need to resist or overcome, with God's grace, a condition into which I felt I was 'born'. Maybe I'd have just killed myself. Yeah, that's the facts. You know, even here, in Brighton, during Gay Pride, there was a sign at the back of the station basically telling the suicidal gays not to take their suicidal lives and to download an anti-suicide app. It's almost as if people know that the hedonistic gay lifestyle kills, or something!
This false pastor, this antichrist, Fr James Martin SJ, has nothing, and I mean nothing, to offer the homosexuals of our day. Or any day. He does not seem to know the Lord Jesus Christ. He has no hatred for sin. He seems to possess no love for God. He has no desire to lead souls to God, but only on a plate to Satan. He does not trace for men the path to Heaven. He evidences no love for Our Lady, Our Lord, the Mass, the Church or, actually, for anyone but himself and the promotion of his false gospel. He only ever promotes himself. He senses no danger of Hell for himself or for others. He leads souls into the abyss. Why he entered into the Sacred Priesthood of Our Lord Jesus Christ, I simply have no idea. Was it to save souls? Or just to hang out with some guys? What? Why? What a terrible waste of a ministry, a waste of a vocation, a waste of time his ministry is and he is just one of many, many clergy who have squandered the graces God lavishes upon those who have faith who believe that, in spite of their own weakness and fragility, with God all things are possible. That is, all things, including chastity, obedience, observance of vows, heavenly virtues, self-control, charity, fortitude, justice, compassion, love of the Lord, be they for marriage or for the priesthood and all those things that the clergy named in the Grand Jury Report of Pennsylvania did not find to their taste, all those things that they wilfully rejected.
As for those men who say that a homosexual person could never be a priest, well, you know I know where you are coming from but I'm not yet convinced its a good place. Yes, I know sodomites have infested the priesthood and wreaked havoc on the lives of the young - even children - but even St Peter Damian would be able to distinguish between a man who was a little delicate or a little effete and a man who gave signs that he thought day and night about raping kids and robbing the young of their innocence, or who couldn't wait for the other guys in the seminary to leave the rectory so that he and Roger could go and screw each other in his room.
As a man with my background of libertine behaviour, I never thought I would or could marry a woman, but I know Jesus Christ and He is the difference. He makes all the difference! All the difference in the world!
You ask for God's grace and He gives it to you in full measure, enabling you to live according to the Gospel. The Lord Jesus does the same for the homosexual who seeks His grace and mercy. There is no difference! The Lord when giving His gifts of grace does not distinguish between the 'straight' and the 'gay'. He is generous! Yes, he can live as you live. He can deny himself and he love Jesus too! He can follow Jesus in every way you can, if the Lord bestows on him the graces He bestows on you. And do you think He cannot? Or do you think He does not? If you think that, you are wrong! The Lord is compassion and love. He teaches His precepts to those who yearn for them.
The Lord Jesus does not abandon His children who call out to Him. He guides them along the right path. He leads them to green pastures and - as long as He has them available - in His Providence to good and holy pastors. To those homosexuals who ask for His Divine Help, he shows great care and concern. He shows them the way of salvation. He upholds them. If they fall, He does not ignore their sin, but gently waits for their return to Him with penitence and sorrow and if they are willing to be led by Him, the Good Shepherd, He leads them in a way the World cannot comprehend along a path He has already trodden, the Way of the Cross, folly to the world, but the glory of Christians. He shows them that the way to Salvation is the Cross. He permits them to share in His Cross. They who carry it, joyfully, honour Him, who is King Eternal and they will eventually receive a crown of glory.
I know I have sinned. I am fully aware of what I am capable of doing and I know that if it were not for God's grace, I could do it again. Only a fool presumes on God's grace and says, 'Now, I am safe'. Equally, only a fool would test out his acquired chastity and get smashed at his local gay bar seeing if he could handle being around that, or even occupying himself with thoughts of naked men at nighttime, if he wants to maintain his purity. However, he would not necessarily be a fool to consider offering his life to God in the Priesthood, if he felt that God was calling him to that. Speaking for myself, I know that God has given me free will to choose Him, to daily ask for His grace, for I can do nothing without Him, or to refuse Him and turn away. I believe in Heaven and Hell. I believe that our moral choices will form us into men who grow in the image of God or the image of the Devil himself if we persist in our sins. Those who persist in their sins, God crowns with a tortured conscience in this life and a tortured soul in eternity, which will be joined with their bodies on the Last Day, for everlasting punishment.
I do not believe for a moment that "Uncle Ted" McCarrick has believed in either God, the Devil, Heaven or Hell for decades, if ever. I don't believe most US bishops do either. I don't think he feels any compunction or shame about what he has done and I don't believe the US Bishops feel much compunction or shame for covering it up. That said, I have deep suspicions over whether the US Bishops are observant of their vows themselves. Many of them are clearly hirelings, wolves!
Readers, please be aware that this scandal in the US is about homosexuality but please also be aware that even homosexuality is not actually about homosexuality. Homosexuality is about the wilful refusal to cooperate with God's grace in the peculiar arena of human sexuality and to submit mind, body, heart and soul to His divine will. Embracing impurity in mind, body and soul, embracing homosexual thoughts and actions amounts, of itself, to a rebellion against Truth and against God Himself. In essence, embracing it in any way is an opening to the diabolic, because it removes from man his ability to see other men as brothers, but rather as sexual idols, objects of satisfaction and lust.
There is no fraternal charity to the carnal man, one who lusts over other men. To such men, everyone around them become objects for the satisfaction of their unnatural desire. This is precisely what pornography viewers, masturbators and fornicators do and precisely how they think. I know, because I have form in all these sins as well.
There are many men who, because of their refusal to cooperate with divine grace - or who simply don't believe in it - would be loathe to enter into the priesthood and who are toxic. I have most certainly been that man. Some of these men are homosexuals, some of them are heterosexuals. The heterosexual priests who trust in themselves instead of their Redeemer can fall easily into the vice of fornication or even adultery, or some other form of impurity if they do not pray! The homosexual men who seek ordination who live for their passions fall by seeking the satisfaction of their lust with men or even, sinking deeper into the depths of depravity - since man's heart is a bottomless pit - boys!
It is obvious that a carnal, sensual man who gives the impression that he fancies other men, or younger men, or older men and who wishes intimate relationships with them should be absolutely excluded from any consideration to the priesthood of Our Lord Jesus Christ or any religious order, though he may find salvation in the cleft of a rock. Priest are called to be pure. They must be pure in order to celebrate the Most Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Those who commit mortal sin and then celebrate the Mass are doomed if they do not repent, since such men commit sacrilege and desecration of the Eucharist. They bring down God's just wrath on themselves and others! This is one reason why we must pray for priests, holy priests and holier bishops.
Among the People of God there are, equally, men whose homosexuality is not 'deep-seated', whom the Lord has either preserved from the path of crime or who He has healed of unnatural lust by means of His superabundant grace, whom the Lord Himself chooses to be His sacred ministers in Holy Orders, who, while possessing an awareness of a particular weakness, do not find chastity hard at all because the Lord's yoke is easy, not a burden, and the friendship of the Lord Jesus Christ is for them their singular joy.
These men become a source of sanctification for others and they quietly do those things that please the Lord, they reject evil and choose good consistently, they practice self-denial and offer their lives in sacrifice to the Victim in Whose place they stand on Earth to offer that same Victim to the Eternal Father in the Sanctuary of our God. Having formed holy, virtuous habits, they abandon a former way of life and pattern of thinking and put on the mind of Christ Jesus. God's grace enables them to be what the Lord has by his grace infused them with, the heavenly knowledge of God, the power to be sons of God, they become a new creation and if they are priests, alter Christus, that is to say, another Christ. They model their lives on the Lord's Cross and imitate Him in His charity and his sufferings as well as striving to imitate His Saints. For such men, JESUS is or becomes EVERYTHING, because He has shown Himself solicitous towards their plight and condition and saves them from all their terrors, setting them free from that which, like leprosy, plagued them. Jesus Himself fortifies these men to be pillars in the House of God. These men have become priests, bishops, Cardinals and, I expect, Popes.
But here's the thing...
The main thing that I ask you who are reading (if you're still here) is whether those things that I mentioned above that have aided my abandonment of or a former way of life for another that is Christian, rather than pagan, are any of these things being recommended to the Faithful by the majority of priests, bishops, cardinals or the Pope himself? No. Do any of these kinds of devotions form part of Fr James Martin's outreach to the unrepentant perverts? No. Does the Church of today, other than in those ministries that receive little recognition from Bishops but who actually HELP men to live chastly, like Courage, believe that there are any remedies for those enticed by their same-sex attraction to mortal sin? Surely the numbers of those who do are a minority.
Are the experiences of men such as me listened to or are they even welcome? These practices and devotions are, I think you'll agree, in the minds of many, 'pre-Vatican II' Catholicism. The majority of these men, the spiritual children of a band of wretches who burnt the Sanctuary of God with fire and set up their foreign emblems during the 1960s and 70s, disdain all such devotions, all such pious and efficacious means to growth in holiness and formation in the manner of life Christ Himself wishes for His children. They think these things are pointless and useless, without intrinsic value. God's grace means very little, if anything, to many of them. They are like the heathens and to many of them they live and believe and think as if God does not exist.
If the Holy Catholic Church continues to ordain men who - and there are some giveaway signs - cannot be trusted to be alone with a Catechism without ripping out texts and replacing them with their own thoughts, or men who evidence no sign of supernatural faith, like one Jorge Mario Bergoglio for instance, or men who cannot be trusted to be left alone with another man in an enclosed environment, or cannot be trusted to be left alone with a woman, even another man's wife! - in an enclosed environment, or even a child, for Heaven's sake, then naturally the Holy Catholic Church will suffer persecution and death from the inside out, making Her mission of the Salvation of souls impossible to carry out, Her Lord rendered an incredible folk story for the naive masses.
In all seriousness, we wonder how such men were ordained in the first place, but they were. Though I am a late-comer to the Holy Faith, becoming a Catholic in 2001, many will tell you who were witnesses to these things that it was obvious that an entire generation or three of clergy were being formed without discipline, traditional, tried and tested theology and spirituality and an almost secular worldview in which no moral teaching or dogma was truly to be proclaimed. Just look at Pope Francis and those he has gathered around him and 'doubt no longer, but believe'. Something went terribly, terribly wrong! It is true that there have always been such scandals but it is also true that the Church knows of nothing as downright diabolic, huge and horrific as reports that have come from the United States.
A holy and angelic Pope is required by the Catholic Church in order not to set up yet more policies and procedures since the ruling on who and who shouldn't be ordained was already in existence. The Church so obviously needs men of FAITH, of supernatural faith, who would rather DIE than betray their Lord in the ministry entrusted to them in Holy Orders. The US bishops, having shown themselves to be so utterly corrupt and untrustworthy, must examine their role in the outrages committed against the Body of Christ and the innocent young and, if guilty, resign their Office and let trustworthy men take their place. If they do not feel capable of doing this, then the Pope must step in and help them to make the right choice. If the Pope feels incapable of doing this then the Pope must resign his Office and let a trustworthy man of faith and integrity take his place. To those with eyes to see, this reality is both simple and glaringly obvious.
Then, maybe then, the Church might just be granted the opportunity of true renewal, true reform and true and lasting healing, worshipping in liberty, in freedom, finding in Her worship the awe and wonder of the Lord God. May Your Church, dear Jesus, be once again what You Yourself called Her when You addressed Your holy Apostles..."You are the light of the World." (Matt.5, 14-16)
|This is Pope St Gregory the Great. Not Cardinal Vincent Nichols.|
PRAY FOR THE CLEANSING OF THE TEMPLE OF GOD.
PRAY FOR THE VICTIMS AND THE SCANDALISED FAITHFUL.
PRAY FOR THE LIBERTY AND EXALTATION OF OUR HOLY MOTHER,
PRAY FOR THE VICTIMS AND THE SCANDALISED FAITHFUL.
PRAY FOR THE LIBERTY AND EXALTATION OF OUR HOLY MOTHER,