Monday, 11 February 2013

Odds Shorten on Pope Joining Benedictines

While bookmakers begin taking bets over the name of the man who will be the next Pope, which will change as soon as he is elected, thus making the credibility of all bets suddenly doubtful, Catholic betting shops are weighing up the odds on the Order to which the now reigning Pope will go in his retirement. Catholic bookmakers, St Anthony's Spread-Bet, have the odds on the Orders most likely to capture the heart of Benedict XVI:

Benedictines: 7/2
Carthusians: 10/1
Dominicans: 9/4
Franciscans: 250/1
Norbertines: 25/1
Carmelites: 20/1
Augustinians: 16/2
Trappists: 13/2
Servites: 50/1
Mercedarians: 60/1
Salesians: 35/1
Jesuits: 500/1

The head of St Anthony's Spread-Bet, however, imagines a sudden surge in one particular monastery on Earth in terms of vocations and commented that this Pope, "consistently defies expectations and predictions, so what's the point in placing a bet anyway? Whatever monastery His Holiness joins, I'm considering giving up this betting shop owning lark and seeking a vocation wherever he is as well. Can you imagine singing Lauds with such an incredible and deeply holy man and then GOING FOR A CUP OF TEA WITH HIM IN THE REFRECTORY?"


Mike said...

My money is on the Salesians. Why? Because although it was originally Benedictine, the monastery of Benediktbeuern in Bavaria is now with the Salesian Order.

annely said...

I think SSPX.

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