Pope Francis to Meet Pope Emeritus Benedict for Lunch

Simple, humble and in touch with the man on the street...

Pope Francis today meets Pope Emeritus Benedict for lunch at Castel Gandolfo. Already a media circus has swarmed at Castel Gandolfo to report on what the new Pope and the ex-Pope will be having for lunch.

Reports suggest that Pope Francis will be taken by helicopter to the residences of Pope Emeritus Benedict, but it is more likely that Francis will instead send the helicopter to a local prison to greet a newly released prisoner on his first day of freedom and take the journey by foot or by donkey.

Some are already suggesting that this decision will be seen by many as a repudiation of the previous Pope's methods of transportation.

A small group of Catholic traditionalists have gathered outside St Peter's to pray that, following a mutually respectful dialogue, the former Pope will ask a trusted butler to squirt tomato ketchup over the black shoes of the new Pope, thus turning His Holiness's black shoes red. 

It is rumoured that Pope Emeritus Benedict will be having something luxurious and light, eggs benedict, on a bed of expensive 'Taste the Difference' sunflower and spelt bread with a light salad topped with a sophisticated honey and mustard dressing, while Pope Francis will be having beans on toast. The beans will be Fairtrade beans. They are said be the simplest and humblest beans in living memory.

Already commentators are drawing sharp distinctions between the lunch choices of the two, suggesting that the new Pope is clearly a man in touch with the people while the old Pope doesn't understand the lunch of the common man on the street. More news as it emerges...