The Lord of the Commission

"Come follow me and I will help you form an Angling Commission for Men."
If the Church was then, as it is now...

'The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother, Simon and tell him, "We have found the Messiah!" Simon exclaimed, "Great! Let's set up a Messiah Commission and really develop this theme!"


A leper came to Jesus and said, "Sir, if you want, you can make me clean." Jesus replied, "I want to. Peter, James, John! Over here, I want you to establish a Leprosy Commission!"


Some scribes and Pharisees came to Jesus and asked, 'Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?' Jesus answered, "The Apostles and I are going to deal with this at a Synod on the Family next Spring" and, straight-away, a Diocesan Commission for Marriage and the Family was formed in Jerusalem.


And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.’” And he said to him, “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.” And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, and establish a Diocesan Justice and Peace Commission.'


And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, "Take, eat; this is my body." And he took the chalice, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, "Drink ye all of it; for this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins." Later on, the disciples realised that this was the beginning of a Diocesan Liturgy Commission.

But they urged him strongly, saying, "Stay with us, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over." So he went in to stay with them. When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him; and he vanished from their sight. They said to each other, "We'd better inform the Diocesan Liturgy Commission!"


Then Peter stepped forward with the eleven other apostles and shouted to the crowd [...] “People of Israel, listen! God publicly endorsed Jesus the Nazarene by doing powerful miracles, wonders, and signs through him, as you well know. But God knew what would happen, and his prearranged plan was carried out when Jesus was betrayed. With the help of lawless Gentiles, you nailed him to a cross and killed him. But God released him from the horrors of death and raised him back to life, for death could not keep him in its grip." At this point some Jews murmured, "This is a very interesting joint ecumenical commission."

One could go on...


Elizabeth said…
Sad but accurate. Ugh. I have so been enjoying your postings lately. You're on a roll, but that's not to say that I haven't always benefited by your postings since I first discovered your site. You've definitely become a must-read daily site for me. Thanks for your Faith, clear thought, and great sense of humor:).
viterbo said…
thanks for this Gesuitical light on the Gosples. I wonder, where could it lead?

'the Unitarian Church has the ten suggestions...not the ten commandments.'

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