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'Too uniform and rigid': A child responds unfavourably to a papal insult
Readers may or may not have noticed that my blogging output has decreased recently. This is because I have been working longer hours at a local cafe and I am exhausted. Indeed, these bones have been crushed! I've got today off and my legs are killing me. All this work business - I'm sure I wasn't made for it. All of a sudden, monastic life looks very appealing!

I look forward greatly to the time when the capitalist system is 'reformed' since both Prince Charles and Cardinal Maradiaga desire the same thing on this matter - one in order to save the planet - and the other in order to save the poor (and the planet). According to the Cardinal, the poor cannot wait. In a way, he is right. Won't the Second Coming be wonderful for the poor who lived for Jesus and who trusted in His mercy and grace? No more toil, no more oppression, no more hunger and pain and every tear wiped from every eye that hoped in the Lord. All that will be will be the enjoyment and praise of God forever, assuming you haven't died in mortal sin and condemned yourself to eternal fire and banishment from the perpetual vision of God.

Minted: Pays his restaurant's waiting staff minimum wage
In the meanwhile, I am sure readers will join with me in earnestly looking forward to the day when, in the name of justice, fraternity and solidarity, this tired cafe assistant on £6.50 an hour (that's 20p more than Jamie Olivers's waiting staff - I know because I've talked to them...) will have the same 'quality of life' as David Rockefeller and Henry Kissinger.

When the powerful of the world 'reform' the economic system and the Church's 'social teaching' triumphs, you can guarantee that justice and freedom will prevail. It won't be anything like communism - no way! If anyone has a private jet, a mansion and a swimming pool, under a 'reformed' economic system, you will have one too, because there will be no more 'inequality' which, as we know, is the 'root of all evil'.

Now that marriage has been redefined, I also look forward to the day when work has been redefined and I can turn up to work, get a coffee, grab my laptop and tell the customers to make their own drinks and do their own washing up. I won't have to work 9am-6pm with only 20 minutes break anymore. I can just kick back and relax...

"The coffee machine is just over there," I'll say. "If you need a mug just wash it up in the kitchen. While you're at it, I'll have an espresso since you are up. Yeah, that's right, you just pay the money into the cash-till and take your own change. If you want food then you know where the kitchen is."

Anyway, given that my hours have increased at the cafe and I don't have a great deal of time to keep up with the Pope's relentless insults, I wonder whether there is anyone with a bit more time on their hands just to keep abreast on Vatican Radio of papal insults.

I will try to keep up with them but I must confess I believe there have been so many the past few days that I may have missed one or two. If you want to help, just drop a comment on the Pope Francis Little Book of Insults page and I will be able to update the page at a later date. If not, no worries, I'll get around to it in the end. They just come so fast and I don't want to miss out on the Pope's eloquent and compassionate instruction of his spiritual child. You know what they say...spare the rod...

What my allotment does not look like
Ironically, my boss is called Francis and he's something of a tyrant as well. He's recently finished building an extension on his house. I guess that's where the staff holiday pay, sickness pay, pay increases and pension scheme contributions went. Oh well, who am I to judge?

Having worked my sorry little behind off all day at a local cafe, there's nothing more I like than to go up to my allotment. Well, there was. The Council have sent me a letter telling me they will take it off me if I don't plant more vegetables and cultivate 75% of the allotment. Honestly! Who are they to judge!? It is cultivated! With weeds! I'd love to cultivate it, but I don't have the time!

If you'd be so kind, say a prayer for me. No offense to other cafe assistants, but I can't quite get over this feeling that I'm wasting my life. It's not necessarily true, its just what catering does to you. Come, Lord Jesus (but not too quickly please as I need to go to Confession)! Anyway, here's to Cardinal Maradiaga's end to inequality plan. See you in the Galapagos Islands soon!

One last question: Once everybody but the elite is equally poor - as Latin American State-based socialism usually ensures will His Holiness still live rent-free with on-call room service in a plush hotel in the Vatican or will Mgr Ricca be presenting His Holiness with a bill? Or is that an invoice that will be presented to His Holiness's corpse?


I really appreciate that you did all this great work on your blog only for eternal reward but I think the time for a paypal-button has come. Seriously.
John Molnar said…
I am curious. Yous apper to be a well educated individual capable of doing more rewarding activities than making coffee why do you persist?
Celia said…
I'd endorse the Paypal idea. Fr Z does it. Just don't start taking an interest in guns.
Delacruz said…
I agree with Martina.
But, what I wanted to say is that I'm sorry not to live in or near Brighton; I'd gladly lend a hand in cultivating the allotment! Couldn't us appeal (via ur blog, or parish newsletter) for an Allotment-Buddy to share the joys and task of cultivating your little piece og God's good earth?
JB said…
since when does the pope wear "cream" colored robes? what color is that? eggshell white? contrast it with the toddler who's wearing white.
Anonymous said…
Could you share the allotment with someone else, so that between the two of you, the place could be cultivated? Clearly, allotments are allotted on the grounds that the ground will be cultivated. Thank you for your wonderful work for Our Lord, God, His Holy Church, and for truth on your electronic ground!! Here you help in the cultivation of souls!
John Vasc said…
While on the subject of 'the root of all evil' - I see one of yesterday's papal targets was 'exploitationists' (in non-marxist jargon-addicted societies we use the simpler word 'exploiters', but no matter) who profit from making 'benefactions' to the Church.
"We see them in the parish or diocesan community, too, in religious congregations, among some benefactors of the Church – many, eh? They strut their stuff as benefactors of the Church, and at the end, behind the table, they do their business."
Personally - just out of curiosity you understand - I'd love to know how you do this. Maybe next time the plate comes round during Mass I should slip a note in with my offering, a note that says 'Hey you, What about my Quid Pro Quo? Either I get my five talents back with another five talents-worth of interest, or you sleepa-wid-da-fishes!'
Signed, Expolitationistist.

Alternatively (as an alternativist), one could ensure that all one's donations go to orthodox and non-diocesan organizations, to avoid all suspicion of 'doing business' with the diocese.

Anonymous said…
I wish I could be of help to you -

In the meantime you are on my prayer list - your name is in "my little book!"

You are such a authentic and courageous Catholic - and so witty about it - it's the least I can do..

Anonymous said…
I wish I could be of help to you -

In the meantime you are on my prayer list - your name is in "my little book!"

You are such a authentic and courageous Catholic - and so witty about it - it's the least I can do..

I thought about your last question. I my opinion the answer is no, he will not have to pay anything as long as his papacy will last since he according to the Dailymail “presented the Queen with two gifts which had evidently involved a great deal of thought” when the English Queen visited.

One gift was a lapis lazuli orb for Prince George which was inscribed with 'Pope Francis, to His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge'. I think this “authentic gesture” was so precious that he will live rent-free for the rest of his live (inside or outside the Vatican only God knows what their plans are.)

I did some research what this orb means for the English crown since the times of Elizabeth I and St. Pope Pius V who issued a bull in 1570, titled Regnans in Excelsis, which declared "Elizabeth, the pretended Queen of England and the servant of crime" to be excommunicate and a heretic, releasing all her subjects from any allegiance to her.

I still can´t stop wondering why seemingly nobody has got the message of this “authentic gesture” Pope Francis-style. I´m sure the Queen has got the message pretty well since it was reported that she was very delighted: ‘He will be thrilled with that,’ said the Queen, ‘when he’s a little older!’

Pope Francis got royal Whisky and honey in return.

Picture of the orb see here:

I hate to say it but I can´t imagine Pope Francis giving an orb to a catholic monarch who looks like a “a relic of the past” und “obsessed with small-minded rules” when he gives his annual speech.

Have you yet seen a so called “NWO-Pyramid” (scroll down in the following link). The Queen is always at the top. http://beforeitsnews.com/alternative/2013/03/the-illuminati-agenda-7-billion-under-mind-control-of-a-few-shepherds-2595420.html

I seems that even Pope Francis thinks she and even her grandson are at the top.
And the Vatican has adopted the ideology of the “Sustainable Prince” Charles.


Sustainable development, Agenda 21 and Prince Charles