Let the Great Masonic Pope Francis Body Double Conspiracy Theories Begin!

Conspiracy theorists believe the real Pope Francis is holed up in a Vatican basement, chained by Freemasons

Vatican City: Internet conspiracy theorists are today alleging - in the wake of an explosive Synod - that the real Pope Francis who stepped onto the balcony in St Peter's Square was hurried away in the same week as his election and remains imprisoned in the Vatican basements by Freemasons.

The Pope Francis we now see is more corpulent, repressive to traditional orders, incessantly breaking down Catholic doctrine, and is thorughly opposed to the liturgical, moral and spiritual vision of his beloved predecessor, who was admired by the real Pope Francis. The man elected wanted to continue the 'reform of the reform' of Benedict XVI in an effort to bring law, order and the restoration of the sacred to the Sanctuaries of the Church. The real Pope Francis, the day after his election, having paid his hotel bill was arrested and enchained because he was overheard by the inner sanctum of masonic infiltrators of the Vatican saying...

"Right, what a glorious day on which to offer the Most Holy Sacrifice in thanksgiving to our great God. I think this calls for a Mass in the Extraordinary Form. Find me some of those Franciscans of the Immaculate. I'm in the mood for a Sung High Mass. Get me a Deacon and a Sub-Deacon and pronto! Afterwards, I want to see that Kasper character. I'm going to put a stop to his toxic, heretical interviews this very day!"

The new 'body double' Pope Francis is believed to have undergone extensive plastic surgery to make him look facially like the real one, in the guise of a modernist liberal 'reforming Pope' whose Machiavellian engineering of the Synod was only hampered by the grace of God working in a large proportion of bishops and Cardinals present at the Synod thanks in no small part to the devout prayers of the lay faithful as well as his Heavenly predecessors of blessed memory.

In what appears to be a complete re-run of the conspiracy theory concerning Pope Paul VI, conspiracy theorists cite the figure of "Jorge Bergoglio" as nothing like the real Jorge Bergoglio of only a year and a half ago, as well as the authoritarian and almost political manner in which the 'new Pope Francis' governs the Church, in contrast to the affable Pope who emerged on the night of his election to say 'Evenin' all' to the expectant crowd below, in a most humble and approachable manner.

Fr Frederico Lombardi distanced himself from the reports and no other Vatican spokesperson was available.