Exclusive: Bishops Conference 'Working Closely' with Apache Indian

Catholics in the United Kingdom, living in anticipation of the Papal Visit in September, have been bhoyed by the latest news sweeping across parishes concerning planned proceedings at Hyde Park.

Individual parishes with parties of parishioners eager to sign up to see the Holy Father at Hyde Park had already been informed that 'liturgical entertainment' would be an exciting part of the day when Pope Benedict XVI arrives to give his blessing the faithful in London.

It can now be exclusively revealed exactly what the Bishops Conference of England and Wales meant by 'liturgical entertainment'. Sources close to the Bishops had already mentioned that an exciting asian musical artist named may be involved in the planning and 'execution' of liturgical entertainment.

We can now exclusively reveal that the name of that artist is Apache Indian. The musician, whose hit record, 'Boom-Shak-Alak' reached number 5 in the charts in 1993 and featured in the Hollywood comedy movie starring Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, 'Dumb and Dumber' , is said to have been thrilled at being asked to perform and is said to have already begun choreographing the 'liturgical dancers' for new material to be presented before the Pope at Hyde Park.

A source close to the Bishops Conference said, "I can confirm we have been working closely with Apache for Hyde Park. We felt that his urban, cutting edge blend of ragga/synth music struck a chord with the liturgical preferences of the Holy Father and had already seen the video of the hit. We took one look at it and said, "That's the man for Pope Benedict XVI."

"Boom-Shack-A-Lak chimes quite nicely with the idea of 'Heart speaks unto heart' and we realised that Cardinal Newman would have loved this genre. For us, 'Boom Shack-A-Lak' is something of an anthem, a summation, if you like, of Christian belief, an expression of ethnic, cultural diversity and a musical meeting point, the theological references of which would be unlikely to go unnoticed by either Newman or Benedict XVI."