Friday 1 April 2016

Apostolic Exhortation Front Cover Exclusive

'The Joy of Love' is predicted to 'sell out' in minutes.

Not seen since the original 1970s bestseller edition sold out, now to be found only second hand on Ebay, Cardinal Baldisseri has confirmed that the 'teaching couple' from the 'The Joy of Sex' will return to grace the front cover of the Pope's Apostolic Exhortation.

When asked if the famous couple had been divorced, remarried and then divorced and remarried again in order to get back with each other again, or whether they had since 1972 contracted any civil unions with same-sex partners or indeed whether the husband and wife had been co-habiting during their extra-marital affairs, Cardinal Lorenzo Baldisseri refused to comment saying, "The personal history of this famous couple is something to be treated within the internal forum only as they are taken up the private penitential garden path".

Eurovisionary: Cardinal Schonborn proved himself a big stage performer in 2014

Cardinal Schonborn, also called upon by Pope Francis to introduce the Exhortation to the Church and the World said simply...

"A lot of people are wildly speculating about the contents of the Apostolic Exhortation, 'The Joy of Love', due for release on 8th April. Without wishing to sound in any way sensationalist or hysterical, it's certainly set to be sensational and - at times, hysterical, but there is an embargo of strict secrecy on the actual contents. The text of the embargo states that anyone who discusses the contents of the Exhortation in public will have their Vatican flat mercifully investigated for corruption. Therefore, we thought we'd give the readership a scintillating, titilating and, dare I say it, tantalising taster by showing them the front cover - a way, if you like, of getting our readers 'in the mood for love'." 

The cover was apparently the idea of Francis ghostwriter, Bishop Victor Manuel Fernandez of Argentina, famous for his sensational and hysterical book about kissing and the Catholic Faith.I know its too late for an April fool, but I couldn't resist.


  1. Even though it's past April Fools here, I will wade in, 'This just out! Francis is Catholic, VII really isn't magisterial, and the god of surprises is completely kosher!'

  2. I had the same thought as well, Laurence. As the world equates luuurve with lust, the Pope's exhortation will surely be interpreted as "the Joy of Sex"

    Stupid, stupid, stupid ...

  3. The problem is that some languages, eg Greek, with ἔρως and ἀγάπη, or Latin, with amor and caritas, make a clear distinction between sexual/romantic love and loving-kindness. English, unfortunately, since the meaning of charity was downgraded in the early 20th century, can't make this distinction with neatness and uses the one word love for all (hence all those readings of St Paul at wedding ceremonies). It would be interesting to see how the title reads when translated into various modern languages. I must admit, The Joy of Sex came into my mind when I saw the title's English translation.

  4. Did you read the title Libidinis gaudium by Fr. Hunwicke? Magnificent, no pilgrims for the Jubilee, but good sales for the book. God bless+

  5. Re-posting this from Anne Barnhardt's blog--caution the woman is DIRECT:

    "Nine hundred and ninety-nine out of a thousand Latinists and four out of five dentists agree: the title of the soon-upcoming post-synodal exhortation ghost-written by the raging faggot Fr. Victor Manuel Fernandez (author of that classic favorite, “Heal Me With Your Mouth: The Art of Kissing”) titled “Amoris Laetitiae” can be translated equally as “The Joy of Love”, but also EQUALLY as “The Joy of Sex”. Yep. In classical Latin, the word “Amoris” was used very, very commonly to mean “sex”.

    They’re rubbing it in our faces. Don’t kid yourselves."

    Seattle Kim

  6. It's much worse: "The Joy of Sin" being sold as "love" by a whore who calls herself the spotless bride of Christ.

  7. I have a better spokeswoman for the Apostolic Exhortation: Paige Jennings(a.k.a Veronica Vain). She is a Porn Star who is known to aspire to revolutionize the pornograhy industry along the line of mainstream entrepreneurship. Joking aside,I do hope the Kasper goes and does penance for good,

  8. Joe

    Eh . . . what is a woman doing on the cover?

    Surely you know that the main thrust of this exhortation will be pro-gay?

    1. I doubt it. They learned they can't get away with that from synod 2014's midterm report. I believe the "thrust" (unfortunate word here) will be on communion for the divorced and remarried. And it's a freakin 200 pages long.

      Seattle Kim

  9. According to a Latin dictionary, the exhortation title could also translate to The Joy of Sodomy as amoris can also refer to homosexual love.
    So yes, Frank's lavender lobby is having a laugh as well.


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