Friday 2 May 2014

Breaking: Synod Proposes Communion for Nearly Nobody

A man 'desperate' to receive Holy Communion under the 'Athanasius proposal'
Vatican City: In an astonishing turn of events, an unpopular Bishop called Athanasius has made a suggestion in preparation for the Synod on the Family.

The 'breakthrough initiative' is thus: At this time of crisis in faith in the Eucharistic presence of Jesus Christ and with so many Catholics living in irregular living arrangements or second marriages following divorce, a worldwide ban on the reception of Holy Communion will, under this proposal, come into force from October 2014. Henceforth, the proposal suggests, only monks, nuns, friars, priests, bishops and the popes will be able to receive Holy Communion. There may, possibly, be some kind of dispensation for those in tertiary orders who can convince the relevant authorities that they are living according to the Church's teaching.

The breakthrough compromise is said, so far, to be unpopular in Rome where Communion is seen as 'not a prize for the strong' but 'for any old Tom, Dick, or Henrietta'. When asked about those who feel they are 'desperate' to receive Holy Communion, Bishop Athanasias is reported to have said, "You are 'desperate', are you? Well, if you are really 'desperate' to live for Jesus and receive Him, under my proposal, if you are a man you will become a religious or a priest and if you are a woman, you will become a nun! The Faithful in a state of grace will not die for not receiving Holy Communion, but the unfaithful who receive Holy Communion in a state of mortal sin most certainly will! Sacriligious Communions will take place in my Diocese over my dead body! What is more important to you? Receiving Jesus or seeing Jesus honoured and respected?!"

5 comments:

Martina Katholik said...

You should delete this post because what you described would be the best way to destroy the RC-Church in much less time than calculated by the NWO.

Even AA-1025 hadn´t ideas like these.
http://www.catholicapologetics.info/modernproblems/freemasonry/plan.htm

The Bones said...

Its a joke, Martina.

Woody said...

But, note this from Paul VI's encyclical, "Mysterium Fidei":

"For such a [private] Mass brings a rich and abundant treasure of special graces to help the priest himself, the faithful, the whole Church and the whole world toward salvation—and this same abundance of graces is not gained through mere reception of Holy Communion."

Thus, as Fr. Thomas McGovern points out, mere assistance at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass confers greater graces than reception of Holy Communion alone (presumably if that were done outside the context of the Mass).

The Bones said...

Woody, I think that, even though this is an (intended) humourous post, there is a disconnect now with people thinking going to Mass is the same as going to Communion.

No period of Church history has seen it thus. We are under no obligation to receive Holy Communion every Sunday and certainly not if we are not in a State of Grace.

Sadie Vacantist said...

It's might be a joke but we need a new theology for the Eucharist. I believe the first stage on the road to this end is a universal edict annulling all marriages. What the bishops fear is that such an initiative will lead to a "pre-conciliar" theology as outlined in the piece. Declare one area of the Church bankrupt then this leads to further bankruptcy proceedings i.e. our present Eucharistic theology which is more than a century old and no longer fit for purpose. We could be in a bizarre situation later this year where progressives defend the status quo for fear of the likes of Schneider.

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