Wednesday 29 January 2014

Job Interviews: The New Catholic Guide

Wondering why you never get that dream job? Think there's always times when you could have answered a question better? Prepare for your dream job interview with the new Catholic guide of suggested answers as you navigate those 'tricky questions'.

Question 1: Why do you want this job?

Answer: Well, I'm certainly not a careerist, so that's not a label that can be applied to me. In fact, I'm humble, so publicly I would maintain that I don't want this job. Catch my drift?

Question 2: How would you take this company forward? What could you bring to it?

Answer: I love what you currently do, but I think there's a lot of corruption in this company. A lot of leprous courtier-types. How can we meet the challenges that face us? You need to go out to the peripheries and draw people back in - go out, out to the peripheries. I'd rather work for a company that was bruised from the battle, than a company closed in on itself like some self-absorbed neo-promethean pelagian.

Question 3: What's your greatest strength? What assets can you bring to our company?

I have the humility and I have the ambition to do this job. Need I say more?

Question 4: What's your greatest weakness?

Answer: I can be somewhat 'autocratic' at times.

Question 5: Where do you see yourself in five years time?

Answer: I'm not thinking about that. Look, if you have the humility and ambition to hire me, then the carnival is over, so I'm thinking about what your company will look like in five years time. Once I'm done, it will look radically different from what it was before. Don't be afraid of newness.

Question 6: We are large blue-chip company with customers across the World. How can we improve our relationship with our client base?

Answer: You need your employees to smell more like your customers.

Question 7: Our company recently suffered some serious injuries in the stock market when it was discovered that certain regulations were not being adhered to by some key staff. As a manager, how would you deal with the situation?

Answer: If the person is of good will and is seeking the company's good, then who am I to judge? The company cannot be obsessed with the transmission of a disjointed multitude of regulations to be imposed insistently upon its staff.

3 comments:

  1. I got fired from that company last week for refusing to change my Benedict screen saver. now I hear they are banning crucifixes, so as not upset the EUth.

    p.s.

    Q. how would you describe yourself in one word?

    A. egregious.

    - a-g-r-ee....a-b-l-e.... ok . Q. give us your autobiography in six words.

    Q. from bouncer to bishop to bouncer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You´ve got the job! Leonardo Boff already told Us that you are a nice guy.
    http://leonardoboff.wordpress.com/2013/03/16/pope-francis-called-to-restore-the-church/

    Because everything must change
    Nothing stays the same
    Everyone must change
    No one stays the same

    The young become the old
    And mysteries do unfold
    Cause that's the way of time
    Nothing and no one goes unchanged

    There are not many things in life
    You can be sure of
    Except rain comes from the clouds
    Sun lights up the sky
    And hummingbirds do fly

    Winter turns to spring
    A wounded heart will heal
    But never much too soon
    Yes everything must change

    The young become the old
    And mysteries do unfold
    Cause that's the way of time
    Nothing and no one goes unchanged

    There are not many things in life
    You can be sure of
    Except rain comes from the clouds
    Sun lights up the sky
    And butterflies do fly
    .....

    You know, We and Leonardo Boff love Gaia and the Earth Charter.

    http://leonardoboff.wordpress.com/2014/01/19/we-are-flying-blind-where-are-we-going/

    10 months later:

    Pope Francis
    The Times They Are a-Changin'

    http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/pope-francis-gentle-revolution-inside-rolling-stones-new-issue-20140128

    Is Pope Francis going green? Francis said to be composing encyclical about ecology

    http://www.catholic.org/hf/faith/story.php?id=54022

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are so brilliant. Thanks for giving us a laugh ...er, I mean education.

    ReplyDelete

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