Saturday 13 June 2015

Praying with Potatoes...

Praying with potatoes: How it was then and how it is today...
...will be just one of the many devotions promoted at the AMEX stadium for the Golden Jubilee for the Diocese of Arundel and Brighton. In the glossy and expensively produced brochure for the 50th anniversary of the Diocese, this 'interactive prayer room' experience is given as much prominence as the Blessed Sacrament Chapel. Yes, the Lord God on the Altar is just as important as 'interactive prayer' with King Edwards and Jenga bricks. Yes, that's right, Jenga bricks. I kid you not.


I often pray with potatoes as a matter of fact. I go outside for five minutes when I am steaming my Vivaldis, have a cigarette and ask the Lord that they might be done soon. Perhaps miraculously - though I cannot say for sure until a Vatican investigation is completed - after these sacred five minutes, when I get back into the flat they are ready to be served up. Praying with potatoes: don't knock it until you've tried it. I might be praying with potatoes during the speeches by keynote speakers like Rowan Williams and others. Oh what joy this event will be. Praying with potatoes, eh? The harvest is rich, but the labourers are few. Surely there is no link between the overhang of the Conry years, this kind of Diocesan Jubilee crassness and a local dearth of vocations. Whoever would even think such a thing must be out of his mind. This is post numero uno of our Festival 50 preparations. I hope that the other posts are more king ed-ifying.



Solanum tuberosum: Laudate Dominum omnes gentes

14 comments:

Hector said...

I think it is supposed to be more interactive, what you are suggesting is praying for potatoes.

sit holding a potato and say,

Lord this spud is brown and muddy, so am I.
It came from the earth, so did I.
It is destined to be boiled and eaten.
Please don't let me be boiled in the vats of hell for all eternity and consumed by demons,
but let me share, even as a side dish, in the the Eternal Vegan fest that will be Heaven.
Amen

Pelerin said...

And what about equality a term all the rage today? Why is the potato the only vegetable worthy of prayer? Why not pray with asparagus, or artichokes or the odd onion or two? And why not pray with celery? Are they not all a bit more up market than the humble potato?

Other vegetables are going to be very upset that we will be able to pray with potatoes only. Will we be encouraged to bring a potato in each pocket on the day? King Edwards or Jerseys? We should be told. Presumably if we fill our pockets with other vegetables they will be confiscated upon entry?

Genty said...

Max Miller told a norty joke about King Edwards but I can't remember it. I don't suppose they'll use it on the day. Too much of a hot potato.

Pelerin said...

Still on the subject of the A & B Festival has anyone else noticed the glaring typo on the front cover which is repeated inside? I presume it is a translation of a quotation from no less than the Pope himself. I looked it up to make sure and think it is a great pity that the error was not spotted before it went to press.

The quotation should of course read:

'To remember the past (path makes no sense) with gratitude,
deliver the present with passion,
and to embrace the future with hope.' Pope Francis

philipjohnson said...

What utter cobblers!Typical of the post Vat 11 council mindset.Vacant and devoid of any Catholic content.Have they ever heard of the great Doctors of the Church ,or the great Saints?God Help us all.God Bless.Philip Johnson.

Ever mindful said...

And if your ( potatoe) offendeth thee, pluck it out...

Chloe said...

The itinerary says the previous Archbishop of Canterbury will be there! How will they manage to get Cardinal Pole?

Lynda said...

No true Catholic ought to have anything to do with this exhibition of offence against God and the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.

Pelerin said...

When I first learnt some of the details of the celebrations I was dead against going at all particularly when I read about praying with potatoes.

Then one of my friends told me she was going in order to help swell the numbers as it would look bad if attendance was low for such a Catholic celebration. I remained undecided until I read in the parish newsletter that it was our 'filial duty to attend to support our new bishop.' So yes I have decided to go after all!

Pelerin said...

Have just looked up Jenga bricks. Apparently they were launched in 1983 but I had never heard of them till now. Wonder if you can pray equally well with Lego?

Laurence writes that the Interactive Prayer Room is given as much prominence as the Blessed Sacrament Chapel. Actually without wishing to be pedantic it is given more prominence as the description about praying with potatoes, Jenga bricks etc takes up 6 1/2 lines whereas the Chapel is described in precisely 2 lines and one word.

Tim said...

Don't steam your spuds Laurence - the family that braise together stays together.

Gabrielle said...

Don't knock it till you've fried it, surely?

Tim said...

The mash of ages?

Unknown said...

Here's the lineup for the pope's visit to Philadelphia and the conference on the family. No praying with potatoes; however, swinging with sisters, bowling (and video gaming) with bishops and praying with paint.



http://www.worldmeeting2015.org/about-the-event/speakers-2/world-meeting-families-2015-youth-congress/


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