Monday 8 July 2013

WordCrime

"How queer. I bought a poof the other day. I lost my fags and later found them under the poof, but unfortunately the poof was so heavy that the fags are now totally bent. I thought, 'Sod this, I'm off to buy another pack of fags.' So I nipped to the local shop and bought some fruit as well as my usual fags. Outside were some beautiful pansies so I thought I'd also treat myself to them. Lo and behold who should be on the till but my cousin Nancy. "We've discounts on faggots too this week," she said. "Oh bugger," I said, "I didn't bring enough money for faggots." How queer it was to see Rear Admiral Walter Johnson in the shop as well. Turns out he left the army and now he's packing fudge down the road just to make a living. To our surprise the fire alarm went off and we all had to get out of the shop by the back door. I wish I hadn't overdressed though because on coming out of the shop the weather was bright, sunny and gay."

Detention!

For a vast array of LGBT slang, click here. I hope this allotment gets off the ground as I'd like to start a chutney and preserves company called 'Chutney Ferrets'.

4 comments:

blondpidge said...

I was just off for a spot of some uphill gardening with some friends of Dorothy, when I spied this.

Lynda said...

Brilliant! I'm going to call the thought-and-speech police on you!!

johnf said...

Priceless. Outside the supermarket were you being serenaded by the Black Dyke Mills Band?

Pétrus said...

Funnily enough I am reading this on my iPhone at the moment while I walk down the Bourneville Boulivard. It is my first trip to the Cadbury Factory.

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