It is not often that I ask you to pray for me, but I feel that I am coming to a 'crossroads' in life (whether I am in the van or not). I would appreciate your prayers very much.
I feel like I am in something of a hole and that my current state in life, where I am living, my chaotic lifestyle, my lack of proper employment, my lack of a vocation and my really now being something of a perennial tick on the behinds of my parents, friends and now on the entire global Catholic online community, is becoming terribly tiresome. I'm 34 for Heaven's sake. It is kind of forcing me to look at how things are and where things are headed, or indeed, not headed, because things are headed nowhere. For a start, my front headlamps don't work properly.
Thankfully, I know that there is a way out of my current predicament (did I tell anyone I am meant to be getting married and yet I here I am begging on an online street corner?) and it involves a very good organisation in London where I would possibly thrive, marry, raise a family and serve the poor on a more full-time basis, rather than on casual night shifts. There I could garden, teach, lead projects, do family support work, admin, book-keeping or even music and share the diverse range of NVQs that only a perpetual student can obtain with an organisation started by a Catholic priest committed to raising awareness of the sufferings of the very poor.
As it happens, I doubt that this organisation would turn down a van at their family respite home for the poor and, unless the LMS Chairman wants to hire me as a full-time gardener, neither would I have any problems in being hired, because, er, its full-time volunteering and, to be honest, full-time volunteering is the only thing I'm any good at.
Since I wrote a blogpost asking for donations to help pay for my MOT, I have felt somewhat downcast. The reason is that while I am happy to receive donations generally for blogging, since we all have to live, it is 100% true to say that my use of the van would be for personal revenue to pay bills etc and, to be honest, I am not a very good businessman. I cannot see a 'man and van' or even a gardening business expanding and succeeding. Not with me at the wheel at any rate. Secondly, while I know full well that the Catholic community is exceedingly generous, I don't believe that the Catholic community should bail out my bank account because of my own van-based errors of judgment, even if the European Central Bank can spend €489,190,000,000 in bailing out an entire continent's banking system which is going to collapse anyway.
So, anyway, without further ado. Here's the plan. I'll call the organisation tomorrow to ask whether they want a van. I dare say that they could turn it into a minibus at their respite home for poor families in Frimley Green or use it to help poor families move and all that. I know they'll likely say yes and, in the meantime, I ask with more urgency that readers do send cheques to St Mary Magdalen's Church marked for my attention or use my Paypal account (I don't understand Paypal, at all, I don't know how to even link to it) to donate for a van for ATD Fourth World.
The only question then remains as to whether I will be driving it to London or Surrey a few months into the new year to become a permanent full-time volunteer to be joined by my fiancee sooner or later. The Good Counsel Network get second shout on it if they don't want it, unless they really want it, of course, in which case, er, its yours. So, readers, pray for me, that I may be graced to discern God's will for my life in this period of emergency discernment and please donate to the 2011 Christmas Van Appeal. Recommend me to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and pray for me as I pray for you.
In Domino, readers.
Oh, and watch this. I think Michael Voris has just changed my mind about the Turin Shroud. 34,000,000,000,000,000,000 watts! Oh my ...