|Prince Charles: St John the Baptist of environ-mentalism|
The Royal has, as we know, since his youth inhabited a small forest on the edge of Tunbridge Wells where he has been warmed only by a small, ecologically friendly heater powered by biofuels.
He has lived from berries which he has sourced locally from the trees and has lived a life of outstanding frugality, leading the way as a pioneer in survivalism and using only the local environment as a perfect steward of creation in order to preserve Mother Earth for future generations. We should all listen to this man because he has always practised what he preaches.
Now that the Royal, who has never even set foot in a car, let alone a private jet or other polluting modes of transport and whose only source of lighting is a beeswax church candle, has called upon the World to do environmental penance to save the earth we would do well to listen to him. Speaking from his small hut, waterproofed only by oak leaves, the Prince said, "Now, the axe is already laid unto the root of the tree...but I will always make sure I plant another one afterwards for future generations..."