"Your Holiness! Well, while you may argue we have not addressed much that is awry in the Church in England and Wales, be comforted by the fact that we recycled everything that came from Rome, in an effort to please Your Holiness by combatting Global Warming and helping save the blessed rainforest. Did we open the envelopes? Well, er, not exactly! We opened the first few but decided that so much post was coming through that we needed to act fast. Therefore, we had a Climate Change Summit and decided upon recycling without opening it, since we knew that the Good Lord would sooner we recycled than mentioned mortal sin and the need for conversion in the Sacrament of Reconciliation or liberated the Traditional Latin Mass or any of the things Your Holiness is mentioning now. That's why we haven't liberated that wonderful Rite yet! Now that we really know how you feel, then, well, now we can act! Our logic was, that if landfill problems continued at pace that they are, that eventually paper wouldn't exist." [Whispers to colleague, "Y'know what?! I think he's bought it!"]
Read Fr Ray Blake's post on the Black Hole that is England and Wales.