Just a bit of solemn nonsense I've been working on.
If you can think of more titles pop them in the combox, why not?
Thank you for the contributions and apologies for any scandal caused by my previous effort.
33 The really, terribly embarrassing book of Mr Laurence James Kenneth England. Pray for me, a poor and miserable sinner, the most criminal ...
64 comments:
The courage of a Makar, Bones.
And false the clerk whose wretched wiles
Is done to spurn the Word of God
And build an adytum of lies
To foul the ground of Sacred Blood.
But false can frame a crafty lull
And place and name can truckle souls;
Too bad the rule of satan dull
Has raised itself a new Noth Pole.
Sorry, I actually think this is blasphemous, and also that it steps over the line of charity and respect for the Pope.
Nasty, acerbic.. the 'measure of goodwill' in your self-indulgent 'litany' is zero. Glad to 'go elsewhere' to blogs that offer constructive criticism without resorting to invective lists.
the amount of time 'working' on such a list is self-indulgent and displays zero goodwill. glad to go elsewhere to blogs that offer constructive criticism without resorting to puerile invective.
From The Bishop of Rome- Lord save us.Amen.
ouch..
ouch..
Very well done.
Pulverizer of proselytism.
Razer of rigid priests.
Promoter of Protestantism.
Maybe not so good. Got stuck on alliteration.
Seattle kim
Dispeller of solemn nonsense ...
Felix M
If you actually spent as much time on things spiritually edifying, your blog might actually have content worth reading. What does this add to your spiritual life? You don't like Pope Francis. We get it already.
I think the first seven, and last three, lines are outdated and we have moved beyond those rigid ideas . . .
Every night before sleeping.....thanks, Bones, for making me smile. God bless+
Suppressor of crypto-Lefebrians,
Courage of sodomites,
Endless font for coprophagites,
Protector of synodal churches,
Silencer of proselytes,
Suggestions from friends.
Jubilation of Jesuits?
Yes Mr Bones, how dare you waste time on this trash that you could have spent knitting sandwiches for the poor. You're a very bad person! I mean, who are you to judge?
I'm afraid Americans don't "get" our gallows-humour. My suggestion: "Promoter of Windpower" from the Litany of Laudato.
champion of callous atheists..
from a f/b friend
Curse of the counter of prayers (i.e. everyone who prays the Rosary)
Bones, here are some: Pope Francis, Delight of the Dissipated
Destroyer of Catholic Doctrine
Patron of Climate Change Hoax
Honor of All Heretics
Derider of True Devotion
Maker of Messes
Can't you see that he is crying out in spiritual agony for the campaign of contemptuous rebellion against Our Lord God and His Holy Church presided over by Pope Francis? Not to mention the countless souls he is leading into iniquity and from the Holy Faith? Lord, have mercy!
Thomas said...Sorry, I actually think this is blasphemous, and also that it steps over the line of charity and respect for the Pope.
But it's not uncharitable of the pope, as well as disrespectful to others, for him to actually say such things?
Does the pope have no obligations towards charity and respect, or does he get to say whatever he likes merely because he is the pope?
Purveyor of platitudes ...
Pontiff unable to judge ...
Patron of the photo op ...
Felix M
Is all this blasphemous? Well, the Pope is not God, so it's not blasphemous to poke fun at him. (But I would prefer omitting the opening and closing prayers to the Most Holy Trinity.)
Is it disrespectful? Yes. And is it not therefore inappropriate? Well, the Pope sometimes makes me feel he doesn't want me in his happy, gay-friendly, doctrine free church. A bit of satire helps dispel the dark clouds.
Felix M
Avid enthusiast of airborne interviews
Boss of banking buggers
Champion of coprophagia and the papal carnival
Destroyer of dead men's rosaries
Evangelist of environmentalism and Eucharistic sacrilege
Foe of fashionistas
Guardian of globalism
Hero of who-am-I-to-judge and homoheretics
Icon of indifferentism
Joy of Jesus (Barabbas)
Keeper of the key to the abyss
Love of liberation theologians
Mahatma of magazine covers
Nemesis of neocatholics
Opponent of the orthodox and Osorno
Patron of Teilhardian pantheism
Redefiner of reconciliation and Roman Catholicism
Sponsor of staged photo-ops and Cupich
Trial of traditionalists
User of the up-thumb
Vicar of vainglory and veiled contempt
Well-loved by the world
Extolled by ex-Catholics
Yearner for yerba maté
Zealous for the zeitgeist
Plucker of peacocks
Prince of Renaissance princes
Moleskin of moralistic quibblers
You know, Bones, I love your way of expressing your sentiments from tongue-in-cheek, to irony, sarcasm, thundering righteously, etc.
Notwithstanding I believe these barbed bits directed at Francis, sandwiched as they are between invocations of the Most Holy Trinity, come dangerously close to blasphemy insofar as in such a faux litany prayer itself (always directed to God) is made out ot be a joke. Not intended by you surely, but to my eyes it reads so.
Keep up your the usually excellent work. Try to avoid scandalizing anyone. It would be a shame to have anyone turn away from such an unusually versatile and orthodox blog due to this particular excess.
Peace.
My conscience does not convict me of blasphemy.
The lights of my conscience informs me that Heaven likes a laugh as much as Earth every now and then.
And conscience is so important, as His Holiness indicated to the Lutheran recently.
@ The Bones,
Ah! And such would be your plea before the Throne of God, eh? First-time offender, invincible ignorance, defence of necessity, etc.? Unless the Almighty cracks a smile during your improv routine, Bones, it might prove prudent to inquire if St. Thomas More is available on your big day in Court.
Bang on, Bones.
I asked a moral theologian and he said its fine.
This is about the Holy Father?
He is risking his life and visiting the most dangerous places in Africa, with Al Khaida and IS watching.
Europe has forgotten about Africa.
@ The Bones,
Well, Bones, if you've consulted with a moral theologian and he/she said it was fine I suppose that's all right then. Have him or her write you a theologian's excuse.
You would, of course, have the inside track on this whole humour matter as I've read somewhere that God is an Englishman.
Even so, as an Englishman, I suspect the last words you would want to hear would be: "We are not amused."
Nice reductio ad absurdum, Bones, spinning your variation of "Did you hear the one about the Pope and the Lutheran woman?"
And of course:
Confronter of fecund rabbits ...
It's not right to put the mockery of Francis next to true invocations to God. They should be kept separate. The lines at the beginning and end are serious invocations and should only be used in a seriously prayerful manner, not associated with the other stuff.
When the Pope is not praising other religions, he is insulting faithful Catholics, so back at him:
Modeler of Supreme Humbleness
Detector of Rigid Seminarians
Defender of Tango, Clown, and Other Irreverent Masses
Liam
I've asked several Catholic friends now if they think its blasphemous.
All of them are trads.
None of them think it is blasphemous.
Blasphemy is about an act to mock, ridicule or show lack of reverence for God.
In this little work, I think it is pretty obvious, from a Catholic, that the invocation to the Trinity is done out of reverence for the Trinity. The prayer 'Lamb of God...' is done out of reverence for our Divine Saviour. What takes place in the middle is satire.
God is not being satirised, Liam.
Pope Francis's canonization is.
God knows my heart.
God knows I did in no way wish to mock His Most Holy Name.
Nevertheless...
This blog isn't and shouldn't be for me but for God and His Church, so if some readers believe I have blasphemed the Most Holy Trinity or caused scandal it is my duty to repair that.
So I have altered the image...
and added some more from readers.
@Thomas. a heresiarch is to the sheep a little satan. The only blasphemy is to call a heresiarch Christ-in-proxy. Ignorance is rife as always and innocence the resource of devils as always.
Anti-popes, false-popes, schisms...nothing new. What is new is to have all three sold as Catholic. We live in post-vii-novus-ordo times, which are unprecedented. The Protestant spirit is at a height having made its freemasonic way into parishes long ago. How else could a 'Catholic' basilica built in the 1800s have placed its high altar on the western wall? satan's sabotage -overt and subtle - the result is that after Vatican One was cut short... convincing Catholics that anything is Catholic has been very successful.
@Liam and Lynda .
"even if they shall be obliged and beholden to those thus promoted or elevated by homage, oath or security; shall be permitted at any time to withdraw with impunity from obedience and devotion to those (heretics, wolves, modernists, take your pick) thus promoted or elevated and to avoid them as warlocks, heathens, publicans, and heresiarchs" http://www.dailycatholic.org/cumexapo.htm
VII has happened. It's Novus Ordo has happened. To sacrifice one's faith in order to continue to elevate a perverted 'cultural-catholic-bequeast' is positively nouveau protestant.
https://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/Litanies/trinity.htm
In reparation I will pray this.
Lawrence, in reparation for what? Calling a spade a spade or a spade a shovel?
The protests to the 'litany' (protestants have no sense of humour or irony - or truth) are from the hearts and minds of those crippled by lies. But hearts and minds are more easily rectified on this side of the grave than bodies. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis.
Folks with an investment in lies keep the damage high. Think twice the Liams and Lyndas of the Novus Ordo before disgruntelling yet again on Catholic Truth. The discomfort of the most discomforted Protestant is a joke to the Passion of Christ.
Dear Bones,
I agree that intermingling genuine prayers with satire is, upon reflection, not a good idea. However, you did not do so with evil intent and have set the matter right.
With regard to Bergoglio - hilarious! As Fr. Faber says, no reason to coddle heretics:
“The crowning disloyalty to God is heresy. It is the sin of sins, the very loathsomest of things which God looks down upon in this malignant world. Yet how little do we understand of its excessive hatefulness!… “We look at it, and are calm. We touch it and do not shudder. We mix with it, and have no fear. We see it touch holy things, and we have no sense of sacrilege… “Our charity is untruthful because it is not severe; and it is unpersuasive, because it is not truthful… Where there is no hatred of heresy, there is no holiness."
P.S.
And yes, God truly is an Englishman! That is why when He created breakfast, He made bacon and eggs.
In reparation for any scandal caused for misuse of the prayers.
@ The Bones,
In all fairness, Bones, I did not accuse you of committing blasphemy. I wrote (above):
"Notwithstanding I believe these barbed bits directed at Francis, sandwiched as they are between invocations of the Most Holy Trinity, come dangerously close to blasphemy insofar as in such a faux litany prayer itself (always directed to God) is made out to be a joke. Not intended by you surely, but to my eyes it reads so."
My counsel was: "Try to avoid scandalizing anyone." That's all.
@ Peter Lamb,
No beans and toast?
"You never find an Englishman among the under-dogs except in England, of course." - Evelyn Waugh
And your counsel was heeded.
God bless and happy feast of St Andrew
Europe is praying the praise for being a blasphemous continent. The Yihadis are among us too.
Sancta Maria ora pro nobis!
@ Liam Ronan
Toast - definitely. Beans - nope. Special occasions - mushrooms and fried kidneys, :)
Complete straw man.
What on earth, Viterbo? You're making no sense and please quit with the personal insults and assumptions. Keep to the objective issues. I'm surprised by your rudeness. You can and ought to make your point without attacking others especially on the basis of positions that you have falsely and absurdly implued that they hold. Don't you understand the criticisms were not to do with mocking Francis's evil-doing but with putting same in a prayer alongside serious invocations to Our Lord God. It is the irreverence to God, not Francis that is in issue. You should know me well enough after a few years commenting on Mr England's and others' good websites.
Dr Lamb, I presume?!! 😉 Hope you're keeping well.
Kyrie eleison, Lynda. No, I won't quit, however you phrase what you see needs quitting (if I peg out in the night then all things being equal...). Truth is demanding, I know you know that. To equate the criticism of a heresiarch with blaspheming Our Lord is basically the Novus Ordo moot. Anyone apologising for their idea of 'god' via the means of Bergoglio is...the mystery of iniquity comes to mind. If I have stopped making sense, then just ignore a silly comment. Nothing to stress about.
Ad Beatissimi Apostolorum 1914 Pope Benedict XV, "Such is the nature of Catholicism that it does not admit of more or less, but must be held as a whole or as a whole rejected..."
Pope Leo XIII Satis Cognitum: "There can be nothing more dangerous than those heretics who admit nearly the whole cycle of doctrine, and yet by one word, as with a drop of poison, infect the real and simple faith taught by our Lord and handed down by Apostolic tradition."
PS. I see your point, Lynda.. the 'Liams and Lyndas'...my meaning being how crucial the so-called Irish claim to Catholic Truth is...not that yous were making such, but why, if there is any Blood of Christ left on Irish soil, make a defense of the indefensible? My Nana would turn over in her grave, 'cept she be in heaven.
I think it's hysterical and just the kind of satire needed to keep all of us even keel.
I love it! LOL
The only one I might have changed was "model of humility" into "showpiece of humility". But very well done. This is the kind of satire that keeps us in good humor during dark times.
Hi Lynda,
Yes, it's me still trying to do my bit. Thanks for the good wishes. The same to you. I really hope things are going well with you and your son. God bless. XXX
Bones, I never thought for a moment that you intended or willed any blasphemy. I meant that the effect of the juxtaposition of solemn prayer and satire was, at least, irreverent. But you have withdrawn what some found most troublesome, for which I thank you. This is indeed a time of real crisis, and I do find many of the Holy Father's utterances and behaviour irritating, disheartening and deeply questionable. It causes me great grief but none of it makes me lose my faith in the promises of Christ to his Church. You say you consulted fellow "trads", and that may have been one of the problems. There is a head of steam among those who define themselves that way just now which can tending towards hysteria and even end in sedevacantism, which is in fact apostacy. (I am aware that some regular commenters are already in that spiritual limbo and sadly show clear signs of unbalance of mind). I admire Fr Hunwicke's careful approach that confronts and argues against nonsense and error, yet maintains respect for the office that ecclesiastical superiors do validly hold. God bless you. You're a better man than I am, (which is not actually very difficult in fact :-))
I thought it was quite funny. "Nightmare of little monsters." LOL.
It actually reminded me of a litany drawn up by members of the TFP years ago. It contains some weird stuff, too.
I remember that "Axiological Principle" was one of the invocations.
James, I love 'showpiece of humility'! What a perfect use of our language! And Mr. B, I enjoy your humor, even though I'm from the US of A. ;-)
You forgot "Basher of bead counters" unless I missed it.
'Arch-enemy of air-conditioning'
Thank you. I love wit and this was well done. Anthony Gonzales
Voice of Reason amidst obsessive, fundamentalist pro-lifers...
Alarm Clock of the Asian youth...
Master of Masonic light and sound shows...
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