Uproar Over Ginger School Invite

This child was subjected to over five years of bullying over his hair colour

The National Association of Safeguarding for Ginger Haired Pupils (NASGH) have been invited by a Catholic school in the Archdiocese of Southwalk to teach pupils about the evils of bullying others on their ginger identity and the colour of their hair.

The move has sent shockwaves through the education world, with many wondering why the issue of bullying should be reduced to one single issue such as bullying related to ginger hair.

The charitable arm of Domino's Pizza, the National Association for the Cessation of Name-calling of 'Pizzaface' in Schools (NACNPS) has issued a statement suggesting that there are many other forms of bullying other than that directed at pupils by other pupils over the colour of their hair.

"For years,' said the Head of NACNPS, Mr Jack Pepperoni, "school-pupils, especially in early teenage years have been subjected to the bullying directed at their acne, and it is not right that one single issue which is the commonplace object of bullying in schools should be emphasised. There are many other points at which children find things to bully other children about when they are noticing difference in each other and forming tribal groups with peers in schools. It is unjust that such emphasis should be placed on one single issue."

Pepperoni added, "In school years, children are bullied over such issues as the kind of trainers they wear, whether they are the latest trends, children are bullied over poverty and parents, being too studious, too 'holy', wearing too much black clothing, ethnicity, physical abilities, music taste, fashion taste, whether they wear glasses or not and a range of different issues. Oh yes, and some children are also subjected to bullying over issues related to their early developing sexuality. We would like to take this opportunity to tell all school children to stop calling each other "pizzaface", especially in secondary schools and would be delighted if this Catholic school would invite us in so that we can teach their children about this acne issue in an informative and entertaining way. It strikes me that children are being used and exploited to advance the ginger cause and to make ginger-hair a stridently political issue in our schools."

A spokesman for the aggressive homosexual lobbying group, corrupters of children's innocence merchants and marriage definition destroyers, Stonewall, said, "Look, if you are going to make bullying something less general than 'bullying' and classify the forms of bullying into 'ginger-phobic' bullying and 'acne-phobic-bullying' and the rest, the vast range of issues for which children are often made the objects of bullying then we will start campaigning for 'homophobic bullying' to be taught in schools as well."