"Pope Benedict! Ordain Cats Now!"

An image of a 'Pussy Priesthood' of the Future?
A coalition of animal rights groups have formed an umbrella organisation entitled Cats for Ordination Now! With the Church suffering a declining Priesthood, the organisation are beginning to ask the Church to paws for thought and ask the question: 'Is it time for cats to be ordained?'

In the wake of a similar campaign by radical feminists within the Church seeking equality on the Altar, leading to a series of poster advertisements on London buses, the new campaign supporting the rights of feline priests is gathering apace.


A spokesman for the umbrella organisation, Ms Susie Kittylove yesterday said...

"After years on the sidelines and receiving little in terms of public recognition, the rights of our feline brothers and, indeed, sisters have been neglected within the Church. It is high time that cats moved from the rectory and the Priest's house, into the Church, leading the Faithful in ministry and in service to God in offering the Mass for a Church with a new vision for the 21st century."

An adviser to a senior Cardinal in the Vatican has defended the Catholic Church's position on a 'male, human only' policy for ordination to the Priesthood and when asked whether the Church was just a whisker away from moggy ministry, he replied...


 "Sacramentally speaking, and in terms of the Apostolic tradition of the Church, it needs to be repeated, once more, that neither the Church nor the Pope can change the rule. The Church has as much right to confer ordination on a cat as it does on a woman."


One prominent Archbishop in England, however, steadfastly refused to be drawn on the issue, distancing himself from the comments made by the adviser to the Cardinal at the Vatican. When asked, in the wake of rebuttal from Rome, of his own views on whether, in the future, the Church may ordain cats, he replied, "Well, I don't know. Who knows whats down the road?"


"Hopefully a speeding car", was the answer of a traditionalist Priest in the South of England. One Pro-pussy Priest campaigner in Norwich, however, has hinted that the hierarchy in England and Wales's refusal to condemn the campaign could mean that within the local Church it is being considered and that the campaign has garnered some latent enthusiasm, if not yet open support. Ms Candy Littertray said...

"This is an exciting development and interesting times to be a cat within the Church. It sounds of a case of 'maybe not meow, but one day'."

Caterry Pipsinister, Editrix of liberal Catolic magazine, The Tabbielet, has promised to devote a full length feature in next weeks issue.

Comments

Left-Footer said…
Drinking coffee - laughed so much I choked - off to change shirt.
pelerin said…
I usually look at the blogs with a cup of coffee. Glad I did not this time! Very a-mews-ing. I did like the 'Tabbielet'. As for 'Who knows what's down the road?' I hope it's not a wheely-bin!
Catholic Cat said…
It's not funny really at all, it's insulting to women equating them with animals and denying their 'personhood'.

One major important difference between women and cats - women can be baptised into the church.

About what you would expect from a misogynous self-denying queer. (I use that term in the reconstructed and reclaimed sense, of course).
Left-Footer said…
Catholic Cat

I'm pretty sure that Bones is not denying the personhood of women.

He is simply making the point that a woman can no more be a priest than I, a 69 year old grandfather, can be a mother - or a grandmother.

Don't understand Catholic Father's comment.
Dog Collar Lover...

It isn't perverse that the Church 'traditionalists' (otherwise known as faithful Catholics) don't believe in the validity of ordaining women priests.

Would you not say, after 2,000 years of Catholicism, it would be more perverse to change it now because, "it's what the people want"?

No, it is far more perverse to change Church practise on such matters just because liberals who take issue with so much of Catholic teaching, desire it.

Catholic Cat (if you are a different person): I understand the difference between Baptism and Ordination. I can't see what difference my sexual orientation makes to the argument. You're suggesting that opposition to women priests is due to homosexuality? Strange analysis!

Catholic Father: My fiancee is fine, thank you for your concern. We'd like to have children one day, preferably after we're married. I'll pass on your kind thoughts and warm wishes.
georgem said…
There is, of course, a liturgical basis for this argument since, for centuries, the word "catolicam" has been chanted as part of the Credo.
Physiocrat said…
The story might be apocryphal but there was a church in North London where the presbytery cat used to sit by the altar during mass.

I am in favour of women priests in Protestant churches as their orders are null and void anyway.
pelerin said…
'Cat-holicam' - ouch! That reminds me Laurence - have you still got Unam, Sanctam and Catholicam? Are they flourishing?
sanabituranima said…
This improved my mood massively.

I am not at all offended and don't think my personhood has been denied.
Catholic Father,

Your comment should not have been published in the first place. It was wrong of me to publish it.

You haven't touched a 'raw nerve' with me, no, as I expect such nonsense from certain quarters, but the comment was insulting to my fiancee so I took it down. it was beyond the pale.

You'll notice that Catholic Cat's is still up even though it is insulting.
In other words, whatever issues you have with me, address them with me. Leave everyone else out.
Mac McLernon said…
I don't know how I missed this first time around, but I didn't find it in the least bit insulting to my personhood...

My kittens, Monsignor Miaowrini and Monsignor Furretti also found it purrfectly amewsing...
I died laughing when I saw this bc the cat in the picture looks just like my cat Pierre! I asked Pierre if he was interested and becoming a priest but he didn't seem too interested. Maybe if we bribed them with catnip! I want that priest outfit for my cat though!