I took this picture at Leonardslee Lakes and Gardens which I visited with my fiancee yesterday. It is, I have to say, a fantastic day out for people of all sexual orientations and none.
Yet, your roving, outrageously homophobic, queer bashing, closeted, self-hating, massive queen of an unemployed Catholic opinion blogging, independent journalist for free was there to catch an even bigger story than this. Could there be a bigger story than this? Yes. Yes there could be.
For behold, readers, these gardens, which have been open to the public since they were first opened public ages ago, are to close this June, so hurry up and visit these beautiful gardens which must contain, in the flora alone, I dare say, all the colours of the rainbow.
"Why are these beautiful gardens to close?!" I hear you cry in a voice louder than even the National Gay Men's Gospel Choir itself? Well, an 'anonymous foreign businessman', according to The Times, has purchased the whole plot of land, and like the greedy git that he patently is, is closing it so that only he and his rich mates can enjoy it! Outraged!? I know I am and I sure hope you are too! Get him boys, and indeed, girls, don't get me! He's the bad guy, look!
This breathtaking show of wealth and arrogant abrogation of beautiful national heritage and stunning scenery is worse than the sin of Sodom and could well be unforgivable even in the sight of the All-forgiving, merciful and loving Redeemer who loves everyone including gays who He longs to forgive and reconcile to Himself, like all sinners, in the Sacrament of Penance through His Priests.
If there is one issue that can unite all of us, one campaign that should see the entire World perhaps unite and forget all of our differences so that I receive less online hate mail, it has to be this one!
Is it a rich Arab? Is it a Russian tycoon? I don't know, but I think we can, all of us, traditional, orthodox Catholics or heretical LGBT lobby propagandists unite in condemnation of this stinking rich man, whoever he is, or wherever he is from, for coming over here, buying our gardens and lakes for around £8.5 million and not sharing them out with anyone, not even the people of West Sussex, let alone the poor or disabled. What an awful bastard! I think, given that he's bought the land a Facebook campaign might fail, but with the power of the LGBT political lobby behind us, I believe that anything is possible.
Let us all unite and condemn this rich landowner for being the selfish toerag that he is. Whoever you are, whatever your cause, or whosoever's rights you are currently campaigning for, drop it now, because Leonardslee Lakes and Gardens have been sold to a filthy rich foreigner and now he is grabbing all this beautiful land hitherto enjoyed by the great British public for just £8 during the week and £9 on Saturdays and he's going to turn it into his personal playground, for him and his filthy rich, millionaire friends.