Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Has Labour 'Lost It'?



Dunno. But this guy surely has. Lucky it wasn't the Yellow Pages who sided with the Tories! He should have got one of those shredding machines on the platform! Or even better, taken a match to The Sun, put it in the dustbin and continued with his speech, causing a small fire and widespread panic in the auditorium...Okay, now I'm being silly. Those Labour Party people though, eh?! They don't like it up 'em!

10 Days to Go...



Well, there are 10 days to go until St Mary Magdalen's Church makes the pilgrimmage to visit the relics of St Therese of Lisieux at Aylesford Priory, Kent. I for one, can barely wait! We had 35 places on a coach and I believe we may have, at the most, one or two seats available. If there are a couple more I always have the car. It will be an early start at 7.45am but it should give us some time to get there early in preparation.

After all the bad columns written about the Little Flower, who it has to be said, was perfectly delightful to everyone, I was heartened today to read a calm and well-written piece in The Independent on how the veneration of the relics is going on her tour. Maybe one or two miracles associated with her this week as well!

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Gordon Brown's Big Brother



He looks like Gordon, sounds like Gordon, makes the same hand gestures as Gordon and he is watching you. Especially all you single mothers. Oh yes! It's off to Care Homes for you so you can raise your children under constant supervision of the State. Don't rely on your family, your parents or grandparents for help. It's for your own good and for society's good!

So, remember single mothers, if you decide to have your baby at 16, and that's a big if, given that you're going to be shunted into a Moat housing estate if you do, surrounded by men and women watching you like hawks, that Big Brother Gordon and Gordon's Care Homes will be here for you...waiting...and watching...and waiting!...but mostly watching! Cracking. Either this idea will halve teen pregnancies and instill a mindset of abstinence in the young or abortions are about to skyrocket because it will soon become apparant that Social Services are watching the single mothers so intently and waiting for them to make a mistake so intently, because they want to find any excuse they can to give their children to gay couples who want to adopt.

And, is it just me, or is Gordon Brown courting the BNP vote?



That'll be a yes then. That repulsive flag is back! Yep! It must be a recession!

Brown: "Mandy! It's an emergency! We're shafted at the next election? What are we going to do!?"

Mandelson: "It's time to wheel out the big guns,Gordy. I want you to stand in front of the Union Jack and appeal to a sense of national pride, because, my man...it's all we have left. Oh, and do as much as you can to appeal to the middle classes. Convince them that its all the fault of the very rich and lazy and the very poor and lazy and that 'honest, hard working Brits' are the guys you want to help. Believe me, Gord. This has NEVER been known to fail. We need Daily Mail readers! Yep! All those people who hate us because we've Ed Ballsed up the nation's civil liberties - we need them now and what is more, we need them quicker than a Big Mac at a Drive Thru, because The Sun have just kneed us in the knackers so hard this Party won't be walking for days, possibly weeks!"

Everyone knows The Sun are kingmakers. I wish I could feel sorry for the Labour Party, but I'll be as glad to see the back of them as I was seeing the Tories get their behinds whipped out of power last time they were in. Power corrupts, they say, and let's face it, that was 1997. It didn't take long for power to corrupt the Labour Party after the wilderness years. I doubt very much the Tories will have learned their lesson, but still, a change is as good, if not better, than a rest. Most people, I think, hated the Tories back in 1997 because they were just seen as being a bit mean to the poor and needy, ordinary workers too, a bit like old Scrooge. Hence Cameron does his, 'Hey, everybody! I'm nice!' act.

The Labour Party, if they lose the next election will probably go away licking their wounds and take everything into stock and decide that the biggest mistake they made was that they didn't interfere in people's lives enough. I saw a cavalcade tonight, one sleek black car, with police motorbikes and a couple of cars behind and in front of it, while I was driving around in town and I thought to myself, '**** me! How's anyone in a car like that, with all that security going to have a clue what's going on on the ground in communities in the UK?' Fact is, he, whoever he is, PM or not, doesn't have a clue because their lives are totally divorced from ours, which is exactly what we were talking about after Mass today. Anyway...

Peter to Enter the 'Three Lions' Den



"What?! England?! Are you having a laugh!?"

Pope Benedict XVI must feel as happy about coming to England, the 'Three Lions Den' as St Peter was about being told by Christ to go back to Rome along the Appian Way. Perhaps the Three Lions now represent Atheism, the Culture of Death and Anti-Catholicism.

I fear that the Holy Father may face protests on a large scale, such is the secular, atheistic outrage in the UK towards the 'scandal' of the Successor of St Peter. For evidence of it, click here and look at Tanya Gold's Guardian article on the visit and some of the comments below. I hope that the Holy Father's words are not drowned out by the hoardes of men and women who scream the same sort of diabolical diatribes that were shouted when Nero condemned St Peter to being crucified for the love of Christ.

Peter Tatchell Comes Out Fighting...



...and he doesn't care who gets hurt.

David Lindsay has posted an interesting riposte to Peter Tatchell's call for a lowering of the age of consent to 14.

Peter Tatchell is a militant homosexual. He is an advocate and promoter of homosexuality. He is a political homosexual, some would say a political 'animal'. Infact, as a 'human rights campaigner' his entire public career has been defined by promoting homosexuality and its practise as a human rights campaign. Anyone who disagrees with Mr Tatchell on his position, to him, is a fascist. As far as he is concerned, UK laws on homosexuality will never go far enough and must be relaxed as much as possible lest people become criminalised on account of their actions. His organisations and political efforts were demonstrable in the lowering of the age of consent for homosexuals and doubtless, too, for UK civil partnerships.

But, as self-appointed 'human rights leader' Tatchell has not stopped there. No. He now campaigns to lower the age of consent for sexual intercourse to 14. That's right 14. His reasons? Well, having listened to him on the radio the other day it appears that once more he sees the great punishment of illegality as criminalisation. 14 year olds are having sex, he says, and he is doubtless quite right, so why criminalise them for having sexual intercourse?

Well that is rather painting the situation black. Laws, just like laws against assisted suicide which people wish to see swept away, are there to protect individuals, rather than punish them. Teenagers are vulnerable to predators, just like the elderly are vulnerable to people taking advantage of them and encourage them to die. Yet, people like Tatchell cannot see this. Every law is about restriction on human freedom, rather than the protection of the innocent, and just like assisted suicide the law on the age of consent is open to abuse along with the children who could become its victims - the victims of coersion, abuse and sexual overtures from others for experiences of which they are not yet physically, emotionally or spirtually ready.

I am assuming that when sex education, for instance, is taught in schools that teachers state categorically (even while filling children's minds with erotic imagery and condoms) that the legal age of consent is 16, so that, should they choose to have sex with someone they are committing a criminal offense. This also protects the young from older sexual predators who wish to have their way with younger girls, or even, as seen recently from the public case of a teacher, young boys. It does not take too much imagination to realise that when or if the age of consent is lowered to 14, that the last legal protection of children who have only just got used to their changing bodies will have been swept aside. Suddenly, its a sexual free-for-all and even though 14 year olds are almost certainly at it, a lifting of the law will give the teenagers not discouragement, but encouragement towards sex - which is incredible, when the Government keeps telling people that it wants to reduce the number of underage pregnancies and STIs which teenagers are contracting.

And what is at the root of this. Tatchell is still, primarily, a homosexual human rights campaigner. Once the age of consent is lowered to 14, he will then, no doubt, be aiming at lowering the age of consent for homosexuals to 14 as well. The State legitimising the sodomy of teenage boys? Well, you can say what you like about various scandals which have infected Holy Mother Church, but such a move would perhaps define much of the abuse that hampered the US church, and destroyed the innocence and lives of so many pubescent boys, as the law of the Land.

How many young, 16 year old boys have already fallen victim to older sexual predators? How many teenage boys have fallen into a life of male prostitution, simply because the law has allowed it? How many teenage boys have fallen into a life of being used and abused to make pornography films, simply because the law, by default of the age of consent, allowed it? How many teenage boys and girls does the law, because of a lack of concern, no longer protects them from the advances of those with only wicked intent. I don't know, but I'll bet Peter Tatchell doesn't know either and what is more, he has not the time, nor inclination to think of it or care.

Then he takes his homosexual agenda to east european countries, which are predominately Catholic and is aghast when the people of that country vociferously tell him and his campaigners to get out and stay out. Some of these people will be 'homophobes' but I expect the great majority do not want his anti-life agenda foisted on them by him and they don't want their children to be brought up in the same culture as the UK, a culture which now sees sex as totally divorced from marriage, procreation and the institution of the family. Tatchell asks for respect for him and his agenda, yet he does not respect the culture of the places where he propagates his message. That culture, in Eastern Europe, is largely Catholic and maybe that is what he really does not like.

Monday, 28 September 2009

Brighton's House of Horrors


Wiston Clinic, Brighton

I was walking past Brighton's abortion clinic last week and as usual felt a shudder at what must daily go on within those walls. There is no Catholic presense there, largely, I imagine, because arrests would be swift even with a peaceful protest. I don't know whether anyone has ever held a peaceful vigil there. I know that images of aborted unborn children are not legal in this country and I always think that an image or Icon of the Blessed Virgin would be just as effective. Possibly vigils took place there years ago. Nowadays the local MP, David Leppar praises it as a place of cracking healthcare for women.

The reason I post on this was having read My Heart Was Restless blog post that...
'Bishop Aquila of North Dakota recently sent a letter to all Priests of his Diocese, asking them to participate in the 40 Days for Life campaign, which is a well established pro-life witness in the United States. The Bishop wrote: 'I will pray on the sidewalk in front of the abortion facility on Friday, September 25, at 11 a.m. and again on Respect Life Sunday when I lead a Eucharistic procession to the abortion facility, carrying our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament to the site of death for so many of His children.'

Outside to the right of the building, as you walk past, you can see a large electrical generator. I wonder why they need so much power? I can't imagine it is for lighting. Secondly, whenever I go past, I see three large blue and yellow bins stuffed with black bin liners. I don't know whether the contents are surgical equipment, general domestic rubbish or something much, much more tragic and horrifying.

I looked up at the window and to my surprise, for it was 12:30 in the morning, a nurse pulled the curtains away. I looked at my watch. 'Gosh,' I thought, 'It appears they work around the clock.' A look at the website indeed confirms that Wednesday they are open overnight, presumably for those 'difficult' procedures which might involve several hours recuperation.

Because my car is parked relatively nearby, I always feel ashamed when I walk past there and say and do nothing, and undoubtedly, that is exactly how I should feel.

Mandelson's Spinning A New Yarn



The BBC reports that...

Labour is in "the fight of our lives" but the party can win the next election, Lord Mandelson has said. The business secretary said a Labour government had "never been needed more than now", saying his party should behave as "fighters, not quitters." (That's how I've always felt about smoking...).

He pledged his "undivided loyalty" (cough, "Yeah, right!", cough) to Mr Brown and urged the public not to let the Conservatives "off the hook", saying their appeal was "shallow". The Conservatives said the speech was devoid of new ideas or policies. Lord Mandelson praised Gordon Brown, saying he had "gripped" the global financial crisis when other leaders had made mistakes (Brown = Good. Other world leaders = Bad. Brown didn't make mistakes. Brown gripped the global financial crisis while other leaders fumbled at it like teenagers at a houseparty...All hail the Great Leader!)

In response, the prime minister told the Labour conference, the last before the next election, it should be "proud" of Lord Mandelson's contribution to the party. (Hmm...Let's get this straight. Mandelson's contribution to the Labour Party has always been and still is in his ability to spin, put spin on things, make things appear as they are not, deceive, deliberately mislead, cheat, lie and be more slippery than an oiled up eel fresh from a visit to his local masseur. What is more if he ever reads this he can sue me because God knows, I got nothing!).

Lord Mandelson said Conservative leader David Cameron had pursued a policy of "concealment not real change" in his efforts to modernise his party and was not equipped to deal with the major economic challenges facing the UK. Recalling his surprise return to the Cabinet last year, Lord Mandelson said he had returned to frontline politics because Labour was in "his blood and bones" and because of his admiration for the prime minister. (Is this the same Peter Mandelson who spent years conspiring with Blair and issuing press leaks about how "psychologically flawed" Brown was? But didn't he say a day ago that he would gladly help the Tories? Err...??)

"You win elections on the future not the past (Well, the future's all you got guys!) This will be a change election. Either we offer it or the British public will turn to others who say they do." The new Labour project (TM), which Lord Mandelson helped devise in the early 1990s, was "far from complete" (Just like the Death Star in Star Wars! It isn't "fully operational" yet!) he insisted. He said Labour needed to "explain with confidence, clarity and conviction" the differences between it and the Conservatives, saying the election was "still up for grabs". (Yep, its still 'up for grabs', Peter. But then, isn't that how you feel about the Labour leadership as well, because it is obvious to all that you want to take the reigns and make the Death Star, "fully operational"....)

Is it OK for gay men to joke about lesbians?



Following a joke made by the chat show host Graham Norton, the BBC has today ran a piece asking the question, "Is it okay for gay men to joke about lesbians?" I'm not a big fan of Graham as his humour is mostly so vulgar it isn't funny. However, the day Britain loses its sense of humour entirely is a sad day. Nowadays, the question, 'Is it okay to say...' is based upon whether someone might get upset or offended. Yet, that means nobody can say anything which might upset or offend anyone. So, what is the big deal?

As Catholics we are offered no protection against offensive jokes, gestures or words towards some of the dearest things we hold as holy. Furthermore, if Catholics were so easily offended and upset, nobody would go to Mass to hear the words of the Gospel which, so often can be a source of discomfort, especially when we are not living as we should. What could be more offensive to those of us who live worldly lives than the words of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Maybe that is what makes us more tolerant than liberals. We don't mind being in the wrong.

So, here goes.

An old cowboy dressed to kill with a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs, and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink, she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" To which he replied, "Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences. I guess I am."

After a short while, he asked her what she was. She replied, "I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women."

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" To which he replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

There. That wasn't so bad was it?

Sunday, 27 September 2009

Painting the Town Red...Or is that Brown?


Operation Otter!

I spent the afternoon with an Anglican friend who is working for a company who have to be notified of the security preparations for the Labour Pary Conference in Brighton and, let's face it, the way they've royally shafted the country...they need all the security they can get! So he has a security pass with the Sussex County Police emblem saying "Operation Otter".

What is it with our police and innocuous, fluffy animal names for what are meant to be highly efficient and incredibly assertive, off-putting counter terrorist strategies? 'Operation Otter', eh!? Well, the name of the operation alone has put me right off from going there and committing some terrorist outrage such as calling the Prime Minister a big statist, expenses grabbing, embryology supporting, sycophantic Obamalover! 'Operation Otter'? Is it wet, soggy, a bit cute, fluffy but with teeth that could potentially be a bit painful if you got on the wrong side of the operation and it got you between its jaws?

According to our beloved Beeb, ahead of the Conference, Brown said he would, 'use his conference speech to set out how he would deal with "the whole future of our economy and the whole future of our society".'

Now, I'm not a Tory, never have been, never will be. But at some point, you have to ask whether the Labour Party, under Gordon Brown, can possibly deal with the "whole future of our economy and the whole future of our society" when the whole present of the economy, which is a shambles, and the whole present situation of our society, which is by all accounts, in a state of some kind of ruin, has been governed by either himself, Tony Blair, or both he and Tony Blair for the past 12 years. If they cannot be trusted with either the past or the present, how can they be trusted with the future?

Medugorie: Faith or Fiction? The Only Test?



I know this is not the advice of Holy Mother Church and I'm only joking of course, promise! For we must follow the advice of the Bishop of Mostar, because as well as being bound by Holy Obedience as sons and daughters of the Church, God knows, if there is one thing solid and concrete in the Church, one thing you can rely on, one thing most prevalent in the Church in the modern World, it is holy Bishops who are preaching the Magisterium in season and out of season...If, however, you want further validation of the position of the Bishop in Medjugorje, then...

As a Catholic, go around saying, to all and sundry, "This Medjugorje stuff...It's almost certainly all b***ocks, isn't it!? All this spinning sun and floating Crosses and strange clouds and miraculous golden Crosses. What a load of superstitious nonsense!"

  1. If the Lord gives you blessings and graces you with peace you know you're on the right track.
  2. If the Lord sends a bus that nearly knocks you over or you fall over on your arse for no apparent reason, or you do something that causes embarrassment to you and those around you, or you start being cataclysmically clumsy, you know you're on the wrong track. I'm only joking! Heaven have mercy on me if its for real, and the Bishop for that matter, because if I were the Bishop at Medjugorje, I'd keep in mind the fate of the Bishop who condemned St Joan of Arc. I hear after her death they dug up his bones and threw them into the river! I hope he knows what he is doing!
And the second reason I'm only joking, of course is that we've been told, explicity not to put the Lord our God to the test. Err...So don't do it! Stick with the Bishop! Oh, I don't know, Bishops are so fickle nowadays! Oh it's so confusing! Maybe we should all just pray, do penance and go to Confession and the Blessed Sacrament as frequently as we can!

Hang on...IT'S THE BLESSED VIRGIN!

"Yep, yep, yep, yep. Yep, yep...yep, uh-huh, yep, yep, noooo, do I have to?! Okay, yep, got it, right, yeah, oh alright, yes, yes, yep. Right you are!"

She said return to God, pray, go to Confession, receive the Blessed Sacrament, avoid sin, be chaste, stop leading others into sin, stop being nasty to your girlfriend and be holy.

What was it Our Blessed Lord said?

"Blessed are those who do not see, and yet believe."

Medugorie: Faith or Fiction?



"Yes. Uh-huh. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Really? Yep? Yep. Yep...Right you are! Really? Yep, Noooo! Well I never! Yep, yep."

"What did she say?"

"She said, "Buy more stuff!""

Fr Ray Blake has posted about Medjugorje last couple of days. I really don't know enough about it to comment too much. I agree with him that we should follow the official Church position on it. What does concern me is this video. The 'seer' is receiving an apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Where? In her house! To all outward appearances the vision she is experiences appears authentic, with tears, devotion, as if being swept up into mystical contemplation of the beauty of the Virgin and her words, her message to her and the World.

But is it me, or is there something a little unsettling about it. Like, what's Our Lady doing popping into this woman's house! Is this not a little out of keeping with Marian behaviour? I mean, far be it for me to say, "Isn't Our Lady more into scenic and rocky positions in the countryside?"

I don't know, whether this lady is authentic or not, but if she really is experiencing visions of the Blessed Virgin then how come she hasn't put a habit on and joined an order? As far as I know, and I'll admit to not knowing a great deal about Marian apparitions, the Virgin is appearing to a few seers, nearly all lay people and almost like clockwork, regularly like a party piece or something. This is totally out of character with historical, authenticated apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I have an open mind about it, but at first hand I agree with Fr Ray's analysis that the fruits are important.

Does Medjugorje result in an abundance of devotion to the Blessed Virgin, return to piety among the Faithful and hoards of Confessions etc, or does it just result in a devotion to Medjugorje. We know that God has used many visionaries in the past, some of whom, I think were lay people. Either Our Lady is appearing at Medjugorje so intensely and so regularly because she wants the World to recognise her Son now before some Great Chastisement, or these visionaries are not mystics but deceived individuals led astray by the wicked lying wonders of the Devil. Difficult, isn't it because Our Lord talked about wonders in the sky prior to the End. Yet, I didn't think the Devil had the 'power' to move the Sun and for that to be caught on camera. Until Holy Mother Church authenticates it, it cannot be taken as authentic. All we know is, Our Lady doesn't make mistakes in who she chooses, therefore if the visionaries are unreliable then that leaves open the question of whether they were chosen by Our Lady. Confusing!!

Scary Barry Obama Dream...



I had a weird dream last night. I'm not really into looking too closely into nocturnal phantasms of the mind, unless they're evidence of a guilty conscience. But, just for once, I'll post it.

I'm in the White House with Barry Obama and I have a glass of wine in my hand and we're chatting. At some point when we're talking the subject of a New World Order comes up. And he says to me;

"Well, there are some benefits to a New World Order. For example, everyone cheers the leader."

I say, "Are you out of your mind, Mr Obama?! What you are talking about President Obama is a Cult of Personality. We've seen it all before. Hitler, Stalin, how many were left dead? 5 million? 6 million?"

At that point, my friend Henry comes along and puts a small Masonic symbol into my wine glass when the President isn't looking, and winks at me, as if to say that it is evidence that the President is involved in a vast Masonic global conspiracy to forge a New World Order under his headship!

Aaaaaghhh! Nightmare! And then I woke up...I must be some kind of visionary or something! I'm going to lay in bed all day and get hoards of followers to be by my bedside, start up a tourism trade, get a load of gold Crosses in etc. Nevermind that I'm a profligate sinner with about as much claim to visionary holiness as my fish.

Saturday, 26 September 2009

On a Personal Note...



Shock! I have a job interview coming up in October as a Project Administrator. Anyone who wants to say a prayer for me, that would be much appreciated! I've had a few interviews in my time and my track record of clinching the job is appalling.

Mothers Banned from Looking After Each Other's Children



Good grief!

The Mail reports on a staggering case in which...

'Two working mothers have been banned from looking after each other's toddlers because they are not registered childminders. The close friends' private arrangement had let them both return to part-time jobs at the same company. However, a whistleblower reported them to the education watchdog Ofsted and it found their informal deal broke the law....'

Read more by clicking here.

Friday, 25 September 2009

Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid...



Can anyone tell me what the odds are at the bookies for 'Christmas' either to have been banned and replaced with 'Winter Holiday', or to even more audaciously have been renamed 'Obamas' by this time next year?

This is totally bizarre. These children are too young to be doing this off their own backs. It's coming from the teachers. But who is feeding it to the teachers? And then, who is feeding it to the people feeding it to the teachers? And who is feeding it to them? Who is at the top of the pyramid? This is sick! How can even the 'liberals' in America stand this, especially when unemployment is going through the roof! Crikey! And we thought Tony's suits were 'teflon'! Nothing sticks to Obama. Planned Parenthood, FOCA, ACORN, euthanasia facilities in the healthcare bill, mass unemployment, gargantuan bail outs of Wall Street, a federal reserve debt so huge that if all the World's seas were drained and replaced with dollar bills, the Earth still could not contain it?

Of course, this kind of stuff won't go to Barry's head will it?! Wake up, America! Your president has 'nightmarishly dangerous dictator' written all over him! Give it another 5 years and he'll be holed up in some bunker playing 'Russian roulette' with only Timothy Geithner and 'Eugenics Czar' John Holdren still standing by his side.

How to Kill a 'Hoodie' in Four Moves...



According to the Independent, a Californian marital arts expert has arrived in Slough with a radical new technique of 'self-defense', for those concerned about walking the streets alone at night. Unfortunately, the technique doesn't involve pointing in the sky and shouting shouting, "Oh my God, its the Lord's Second Coming!" before running away. Neither does it involve a quick kick to the groin and scarpering. Neither does it even involve saying, "Take it all, take it all, just spare my life! I've got kids you know!"

No, it involves learning to kill someone in just four moves, which, I'm not sure quite describes 'self-defense' but how to achieve a charge of manslaughter. I'm quite sure some of the workshop attendees who show up to learn the techniques from Tim Larkin will be some of Slough's more unsavoury types who take a dislike to certain people and might just go on the offensive. Call me a chap with a pessimistic view of human nature if you like, I just can't help feeling such knowledge is open to abuse!

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

The Holy Father is Coming to the UK!



You heard it here first! Okay, you probably didn't...Amazing news from The Telegraph!



"Oi, you Brits! Come to Papa!"

I've just been handed an official schedule of the Holy Father's visit. Here it is...

10.30am Papal High Sung Mass at St Mary Magdalen's Church, Brighton, with local priests as deacons and sub-deacons.

11.30pm Coffee with the parishioners of St Mary Magdalen's Church, Brighton and a swift Fanta at The Windmill, where he says he needs a light for his fag. Even rabid atheists go onto their knees and hold their lighters up to the Holy Father, like in that Marilyn Monroe flick. He enjoys one of Fr Ray's Camels with Fr Ray, me, and all of the parishioners some of whom never smoked before. All this we do inside the pub and break the smoking ban, but nobody cares because its the flippin' Pope!!! Bar staff at The Windmill come over and break open a dozen bottles of champagne, saying, "It's on the house, Your Holiness," having kissed his hands and feet. He blesses them, they rise and go back to serving customers. The Holy Father chinks glasses with Fr Ray, has a sip or three and then says, 'Must dash! May Almighty God bless you in the Name of the Father and of the Son and the Holy Spirit!'

1pm Meeting in London with the Bishops of England and Wales.

1.03pm Bishops of England and Wales make official statement publicly calling on all Priests to learn the Traditional Latin Mass...Now!

1.05pm Lunch with Richard Dawkins

1.06pm Dawkins cries like a baby, converts and asks for Baptism and the location of the nearest Carthusian monastery.

2pm Meeting with Her Royal Highness the Queen

2.05pm Queen requests intensive RCIA course. Prince Charles begs the Holy Father to address climate change and save the planet. Pope Benedict XVI tells him to save his soul and that the planet can go spin on its axis like it always has done and always will until the Lord Jesus returns in Glory at the End of Time and that if the Lord's main concern were that we save the rainforests he would have flippin' said so during His Ministry on Earth.

2.06pm Prince Charles converts to Catholicism.

3.30pm Meets Gordon Brown PM. PM asks if the Holy Father has a spare 'moral compass' on him as he seems to have lost his. Holy Father passes him a penny Catechism.

3.35pm Gordon Brown converts to the Holy Faith, reverses the smoking ban, bans abortion, tells Stonewall to get knotted, promotes marriage and England is Our Lady's Dowry glorious and everyone goes home and prays the Rosary in thanksgiving for the reconversion of the British Isles!

6pm Arrives in Birmingham and canonises Cardinal John Henry Newman.

Well, we can dream!

Will Britain Become 'Brazil'?



Opening Scene

The way we are heading...Highly likely!

Ending

P.D. James Expresses Fears Over Assisted Suicide



The Telegraph reports that P.D. James - a former senior Home Office civil servant, turned crime fiction writer is concerned the assisted suicide 'clarifications' and any future change to law is open to grave abuse.

"We've got to be really careful when we start making it legally possible to end any life. I don't think people who are against legalising euthanasia are any less feeling, they just see that there are great dangers in the state legislating for this, and indeed there are."

Her comments come on the day when the Director of Public Prosecution, Keir Starmer indicated to the press that family members or friends who help a person under 18, or one suffering from a mental illness or learning disability are more likely to be prosecuted, Keir Starmer, Director of Public Prosecutions.

"Would it make a difference if a person was under the age of 18? Does it matter if the person who dies was not suffering from a terminal illness or severe degenerative condition, or if they had a mental illness or learning difficulty?" he wrote. Are any of these factors more worthy of sympathy than a criminal trial?

"If you answer “Yes”, you are exercising your discretion whether to prosecute. I think these factors do make a difference, and I will be setting out exactly how later on today."


The one thing that disturbs me is just how relaxed the Director of Public Prosecution appears in his language, firstly concerning assisted suicide and then about the possible manipulation and killing of people with learning disabilities, mental illness or 'under 18s' by families or relatives. It is the great problem with the moral relativism so endemic in the UK today.

Clearly the man cannot bring himself to say that assisted suicide is a grave and serious crime. Given this, shouldn't he say, quite categorically, 'If you assist in the suicide of someone so vulnerable as someone mentally ill, someone with a learning disability, a teenager or manipulate someone anyone who is impressionable to commit suicide that you will be prosecuted.' But he cannot even bring himself to say that. Highly, highly disturbing. Anyone would have though we were discussing legalising wacky-backy or something. We're not! We're talking about whose lives may be protected by law, and whose lives may not. Who will live and who will die.

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

The Crowning Glory of Atheism: The French Revolution



Episode 1

If you want to watch this and are confirmed in your belief that atheism does not lead to tyrannical and brutal regimes take a peep. Great series on what happens when a 'new ideology' takes the place of God and Religion and puts it at the service of one who believes in neither.

I was asked by a discussion member in the atheists internet forum to name one atheist who had acted negatively because of his atheism. 40,000 is the estimate at the number killed during the Reign of Terror, all as a result of Robespierre's atheism, rejection of the Church, of God and because of his fervent, passionate and evangelical 'new vision' of human society.

"The French Revolution", said the discussion chap, "was the poor rising up against the rich."
"Eh?" I replied, "What books have you been reading?!"

The French Revolution may have gathered a great deal of men and women who were impoverished to rise up and fight, but primarily it was a coup d'etat on a massive scale by a group of 'Enlightened' thinkers, not just a natural upsurge by the oppressed against the powerful.

Furthermore, as V.I Lenin maintained in his work 'What Is To Be Done?', such 'revolutions' require a 'Vanguard' - a group of 'enlightened men' who can maintain the constancy of the revolution in order to create the utopian vision required.

The victims of the French Revolution were many and varied. Many 'dissenters', however, were Catholics, the Church having been put underneath the power and authority of the State and subjected to it. Robespierre despised the Church because it didn't fit in with his 'passionate ideals' and those who refused his demands, he had slaughtered, because frankly, if you didn't really like the glorious republic and though it was actually a bit restrictive and rather naff, you didn't stand a chance. They had secret police and everything. The Inquisition had nothing on these guys! They hated Christianity so much they changed the flippin' calender! Robespierre died in the month of 'Thermodere' or something.

If you've got time on your hands and enjoy a good documentary...

Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9

Voices in Exile


Courtesy of The Telegraph

French authorities have today closed a migrant camp known as 'The Calais Jungle'. I wonder who it was who came up with that name! Was it the migrants themselves or perhaps the politicians who wished to denigrate the asylum seekers genuine pleas for human rights and to be given refuge in Europe in the eyes of the World's media? I'm sure if it was the migrants themselves that it wasn't a term of endearment. Alan Johnson has apparently 'praised' the efforts of the French police and Government. How charming!

"It is a clear signal that France is honouring the agreement... to build even stronger controls at the Calais border with the UK," he said.
Mr Johnson pledged continuing support for the French action, saying that the UK Border Agency officers "already work day and night alongside the French authorities to secure the border at Calais".
French riot police detained 278 illegal migrants in a dawn raid on a makeshift camp in northern France. Illegal migrants and left-wing protesters fought with police on Tuesday as armed officers began clearing the camp. As soon as dawn broke at 7.39am dozens of vans accompanied by bulldozers began circling the stretch of wooded waste ground a few hundred yards from the ferry port. Up to 500 officers had massed for the operation – at least two for each migrant who had stayed on in the blue tarpaulin tents and rickety shacks.

Of course, asylum seekers, particularly Muslim asylum seekers from areas of the World we are not that keen on are not going to be that welcome in Europe, especially in time of recession and fear of terrorism and, unfortunately, these migrants will have few friends in the mainstream media or perhaps even in the UK. What does strike me as a little sinister is the way in which the media are portraying these migrants. The language of 'Clearing of the Jungle' reminds me rather of Robert Mugabe's 'Clearing Out the Trash' attacks on the poor in Harare. The Daily Mail, for example has this picture on its paper today and the headline appeared to convey the view that these migrants are a grave internal threat to the UK, where some of them would have liked to have lived.



To me, that looks like a genuine plea from impoverished and destitute asylum seekers for clemency, human rights, dignity and refuge from their own politically unstable and perhaps dangerous countries of origin. Call me an old, wet, liberal softie if you want, but this labelling of the migrants as 'parasites, freeloaders and traffikers' seems a little too convenient for people who may just be xenophobic, mean-spirited, unmerciful and dare I say it, racist. No! Not Daily Mail readers surely! This Mail report suggests they have softened their line. But really! Come on, atheists! Rise up and defend your Muslim brothers and sisters from a crackdown by a fearful and racist State! No? Didn't think so...I mean, look at them, you can tell they're all terrorists...Send them packing.

Apparently, according to The Mail...

'Protesters, some in tears, shouted slogans at the police, including: "Shame on France!"' Aid worker Sylvie Copyans, from the group Salam, described the heavy-handed police response as "disproportionate and sickening’. To highlight this she told how a frightened Afghan boy called Ali was torn from her arms by police as she wept. She said: 'I tried to hide him, he was very, very frightened.’

The great majority of the men in the migrant camp were Afghans! Get it!? The West bombs the crap out of their country, makes it a perpetual war-zone, an unending conflict and then when the citizens flee here they get put in detention centres, are forced to live in destitution, are treated like animals and are then rounded up and sent packing! Incredible!

Jessica Nora Shadia, 25, from Dunkirk, said: "It's shameful. They treat people like animals. Children were being pushed to the floor as if people have nothing. It's so sad. We tried to help them," she shrugged: "What can you do?"

Oh, France! The glorious Republic! The victorious Queen of the Enlightenment! Marianne and especially Robespierre would be proud of you! These images will go on Al-Jazeera. Of course, that's going to help relations between Muslims and the West no end!

Atheism: The Great Deception



Why did Dr Josef Mengele, do it? Why? In the name of 'science' and 'progress' of course!

Fr Ray Blake of St Mary Magdalen has penned an excellent piece that has an internet atheist discussion group up in arms. You can view Fr Ray's piece here and the atheist discussion group, which I decided to pop into and in which he is rounded upon here. Sometimes it is worth walking into lion's den, waving a Crucifix around and then seeing what will happen. Not many of the responses to Fr Ray's article seem proportionate, reasonable or just, but then, hey, we Catholics know what to expect.

There are, of course, perhaps hundreds of figures the Faithful could point to in human history and draw attention to their atheism as being a defining reason as to why they might have gone so far off the rails and suddenly, seemingly without warning, decided to slaughter a truckload of people, for no good reason whatsoever.

However, just for the sake of doing something a bit different, let's take someone who doesn't get talked about much these days, whose operations in the Holocaust seemed to have been particularly interesting to the arch-bad eggstraordinaire, Adolf Hitler. Dr Josef Mengele, come on down! I realise that Wikipedia is not the World's most respected historical website but let's just have a read of Mengele's biog. Bear with me, there is a point here.

In 1943, Mengele replaced another doctor who had fallen ill at the Nazi extermination camp Birkenau. On May 24, 1943, he became medical officer of Auschwitz-Birkenau's "Gypsy camp". In August 1944, this camp was liquidated and all its inmates gassed. Subsequently Mengele became Chief Medical Officer of the main infirmary camp at Birkenau. He was not, though, the Chief Medical Officer of Auschwitz — superior to him was SS-Standortarzt (garrison physician) Eduard Wirths.

Mengele's experiments also included attempts to change eye color by injecting chemicals into children's eyes, various amputations of limbs and other brutal surgeries. Rena Gelissen's account of her time in Auschwitz details certain experiments performed on female prisoners around October 1943. Mengele would experiment on the chosen girls, performing sterilization and shock treatments. Most of the victims died, either due to the experiments or later infections. According to a website, "Once Mengele's assistant rounded up 14 pairs of Roma twins during the night. Mengele placed them on his polished marble dissection table and put them to sleep. He then injected chloroform into their hearts, killing them instantly. Mengele then began dissecting and meticulously noting each and every piece of the twins' bodies."

The subjects of Mengele's research were better fed and housed than ordinary prisoners and were, for the time being, safe from the gas chambers. When visiting his child subjects, he introduced himself as "Uncle Mengele" and offered them sweets. Some survivors remember that despite his grim acts, he was also called "Mengele the protector". In addition to his studies on twins he did a number of horrifying experiments. Once he burned several Jewish prisoners in a gigantic oven to test how long it would take for the human body to get first, second and third degree burns at certain temperatures. He also tested how much force it would require to break a human skull.

Auschwitz prisoner Alex Dekel has said: "I have never accepted the fact that Mengele himself believed he was doing serious work — not from the slipshod way he went about it. He was only exercising his power. Mengele ran a butcher shop — major surgeries were performed without anesthesia. Once, I witnessed a stomach operation — Mengele was removing pieces from the stomach, but without any anesthetic. Another time, it was a heart that was removed, again, without anesthesia. It was horrifying. Mengele was a doctor who became mad because of the power he was given. Nobody ever questioned him — why did this one die? Why did that one perish? The patients did not count. He professed to do what he did in the name of science, but it was a madness on his part".

Now, on this point I disagree. It is not enough to just say, "Well, Mengele was mad!" As Fr Ray Blake says in his blog, atheism is responsible for as many great evils of which he can think. Atheism does not defend all human life. It only defends human life it deems to be a life 'worth living'. Josef Mengele professed that all of his crimes he did "in the name of science". The poor and deluded individual simply could not help himself. And of course, as our Priest well knows, what with hearing our Confessions, we humans do not necessarily seek or will what is bad. We will what is good but go astray in attaining it because we very often seek a version of the good which has been divorced from the Will of God. We want something good, like love, sex and human intimacy and are prepared to do it unlawfully, outside of marriage, for example, to get it. Scientists want significant breakthroughs and scientific discoveries, treatments or cures, but they're willing to sacrifice some human beings in order to achieve it, which is, of course evil.

And this is exactly what was introduced in the Human Fertilisation and Embryology legislation. At the disposal of scientists today is a great deal of technology. Religious Faith is discarded by the mainstream media and the mainstream political parties as outdated and of no modern use.

Science is the future, they say. Science means 'progress' and in the name of science and 'progress', atheism will doubtlessly be responsible for more Mengelian madness, perhaps the likes of which we could never have shuddered to imagine. The atheists who do not see that history is about to repeat itself, in just this one arena alone, because science, reason and progress have been divorced from Faith, are only deceiving themselves. Catholics, we pray, are not so easily deceived.

According to secularists and atheists embryos don't count. Well, gypsies didn't count to Mengele! According to many secularists and atheists unborn babies don't count. Well, I'm sure unborn babies wouldn't count to Mengele but then, gypsies, dwarves and Jews didn't count to Mengele either. He could not defend human life because he could not see it for what it truly is - sacred, holy and to be defended, and especially not from his own scientific pursuits, because such sacred truths just got in the way.

Yet, that is the road this country has set itself upon. Atheists will not defend unborn human life in laboratories because they cannot see the embryo as a life. Atheists very rarely defend unborn human life in the womb because a great many cannot see that 'it' is a life. Atheists will not defend the lives of the elderly against the subtle pressure to be euthanised once people become unproductive, expensive to care for, or terminally ill. If, in principle, you cannot defend life at all stages, then it makes it far more likely that you will oversee death, acquiesce with death, agree with death, espouse or even promote and spread, death. Because to the atheist, who has no recourse to the Divine Law, the ends unfortunately, can always justify the means.

Monday, 21 September 2009

Master of Spin Slips Up



According to The Telegraph, 'Lord Mandelson, the Business Secretary, came close to falling for the Downing Street photographers’ trap as he allowed them a tantalising glimpse of his bundle of confidential papers.'

Apparently, these documents outline the attacks Labour plans upon the opposition in order to, totally against the odds, secure yet another stunning electoral victory. That The Bones You Have Crushed May Thrill can reveal, exclusively, the contents of Mandelson's brief.

a) Buy ice pick.

b) Insert ice pick into Gordon Brown's back when he's not looking.

c) Take over as Labour leader and dab away tears at former PM's funeral in glare of world's media.

d) Tell the World I want to be the 'People's Prime Minister' because that kind of crap worked for Tony, so its sure to work for me.

e) Remain unpopular but rig election through elaborate electoral ward boundary re-definement.

f) Ratchet up the 'terror/flu pandemic/economic chaos' threat level to 9.5 a week before the election. Claim I'm the only guy to see the populace through.

g) Win election, rule supreme and move into Number 10 with Ronaldo, making myself king and going down in history as the first openly gay guy in power. Ban all future elections. Yippee!

BBC Report: Dementia 'Burden' Underestimated


"I feel like such a national and global burden..."

According to BBC News...

Notice the language here, chaps and chapesses...

'The future global burden of Alzheimer's and other types of dementia has been underestimated, say UK experts. A report from King's College London suggests more than 115 million people across the globe will suffer from dementia by 2050. This prediction is 10% more than previous figures published in 2005, driven mainly by new figures from South Asia and Latin America.

The Alzheimer's Society said the data showed the "scale of the challenge". The rise in dementia fuelled by increasing life expectancies in countries around the world is causing widespread concerns.'
Interesting choice of language, isn't it? Instead of reporting that the number of dementia and Alzheimers sufferers is set to rise in the future, the report describes those suffering with the illness as a 'burden', and not just any burden but a 'global burden'. Does that sound like not-so-subtle news-speak propaganda or what?

I mean, anyone watching the report or reading that might think, 'Oh, Good Lord. I don't want to be a part of the national or global burden, nevermind a burden on my own family. Where's the hotline to order the 'Assisted Suicide: Your 12-Step Guide to Topping Yourself or Members of Your Family without Fear of Prosecution' leaflet?! The "scale of the challenge," after all, is so great and the burden set to rise by 10%. I don't want to be one of them. I'm doing the decent thing and checking out of this life early so I don't become a burden on the State or society or anybody...Get me a telephone...Hello, yes is that Hotel Dignitas. Get me a room. I'm coming in a fortnight. Yeah, of course I want en suite. Yeah...Yep. Actually do you do room service? You do? Oh, fantastic!"

Again, in the same article...
"The strain of caring for people with dementia is not just a social issue, but
an economic one, placing a growing burden on the working population and health
systems."
How shocking and outrageous! The economically productive have to foot the bill for people who were economically productive but who now have dementia and so are no longer economically productive. Now they've got dementia they're just feeding off the rest of us, even though one day I might have dementia, but that's scary to think about and while I am fit and healthy I'm just going to think about how terrifying it is that these burdensome people are still with us today...Burdensome dementia burdens! If I ever get dementia I'm straight off to Dignitas pronto to get myself put down like an aged, limping yorkshire terrier! Anyone who doesn't do that is just plain selfish and nicking my hard-earned cash. There's nothing worse than someone being a burden!

Honestly, who is going to be reported as being a 'burden' next? The mentally ill? The unemployed? The gypsy community? Children? Adults with learning disabilities? The language used in this report is sinister and insidious and should most definitely not go unchallenged. What an affront to all the people who do suffer Alzheimers and other forms of dementia!

A New Career?



My drummer friend, Ali, and I did a Car Boot Sale at BHASVIC college car park in Brighton on Saturday and we managed to make a bit of cash for the Building Fund. There's so much stuff waiting to be sold. I'm really getting into it, all that haggling, dodging and weaving, ducking and diving, nipping off to get a burger with onions or the odd coffee. Ali seemed to enjoy it too, saying he'd happily do it regularly, which is helpful, as he is the man with the white van.

When we pulled up into our space punters crowded around the van as if the pound had just crashed and we were the only ones in the town with gold bars. Like vultures they descended on the boot to see what booty we had. I said, "Will you give us 5 minutes to set up?" One man answered back, "We might be gone in 5 minutes!" How naive of me! We got a fold-out table on which to put stuff to sell out of the van and one man shouted, "How much for the table!?" Oh boy, punters, it seems, love a good car boot sale.

I had a couple of St Therese of Lisieux statues with prayer cards and put them at the front of my saints section of the stall. I enjoyed shouting out, "St Therese statues for sale here! Get your statues of the Little Flower here! She's touring all over England at the moment, oh yes! That's right, the one Matthew Parris can't stand! £3 each or two for £5!"

Alright, I didn't say that, but people did seem quite taken by the statues. Some people you could obviously see were interested in them for their 'kitsch' value but one man was particularly interested. He was an Anglican who had just returned from pilgrimmage to Fatima and Lourdes. He was retired so said he had the time to do those kinds of things now. He goes to St Patrick's Church, down the road from St Mary Magdalen's and mentioned he had been to the first Car Boot Sale and enjoyed talking to Fr Ray about the Church and the Faith. He bought Our Lady of Fatima off me.

He appeared to have an enormous devotion to the Blessed Virgin and even described her as 'Our Blessed Lady'. 'How refreshing', I thought, 'that an Anglican should revere Our Blessed Mother so much as to acknowledge her properly.' So many Anglican's just call her 'Mary'. He said he was thinking of the possibility of converting to the Catholic Faith and seemed interested in St Mary Magdalen's Church. He was a thoroughly pleasant chap.

Christian Hoteliers Charged After Arguing with Muslim Guest



One rule for Muslims, another rule for Christians? Do you think this lady was arrested? I doubt it somehow. I imagine she was allowed to protest 'peacefully'. While I doubt very much that I would be so bold as to insult the founder of Islam to a Muslim's face, I do not understand why the State is intervening into private arguments or discussions of a religious nature.

Courtesy of The Times

A pair of Christian hoteliers in Lancashire who argued with a Muslim guest at
the breakfast table have been charged with a religiously-aggravated offence.
Dutch-born Ben Vogelenzang said that Mohammed, the founder of Islam, was a
warlord, while his wife Sharon, 54, described the hijab as a form of bondage, it
is claimed.

The incident happened in March when the unnamed guest, who
was staying at the hotel while being treated at a nearby hospital, came down to
breakfast wearing a hijab, a traditional Muslim headdress covering the hair.

The couple had never seen her wear the religious clothing before and a
discussion ensued. The guest complained to police and the couple were charged
under the 1986 Public Order Act - with using “threatening, abusive or insulting
words” which were “religiously aggravated”.
If I were a policeman and someone came up to me and said, "Officer! Someone just said something that really offended me! Please, do something, I feel genuinely insulted," then I think I'd reply, "Oh you poor lamb. We've all had days like that. Go home, have a bath, get some aromatherapy candles on and you'll have forgotten all about it in the morning, unless you're the type who really nurses grievances for long periods of time. Still, why not just turn the other cheek and forgive? Honestly, you'll feel better for it."

If religious hate laws were truly applied in this country, I'd imagine nearly all the Times columnists, Guardian columnists and Independent columnists would be in court before a judge every day. But since such laws are not applied when the Catholic faith or Christianity is attacked, such people are still at large. Strange, isn't it?

The next time I go out for a pint with one of my atheist friends and he starts saying things like, "I like what Jesus said, but I think he was just a good teacher, you know. He was only human. I reckon he probably got it on with Mary Magdalen," then obviously I'll do the decent thing and call the cops...

Official HM Armed Forces Dolls



The must have toy this Christmas, for every youngster targetted by the Government in a cynical attempt to create new recruits for the next war in some backward middle eastern country with notoriously tricky terrain.

Public approval of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are on the decline. The Government therefore are targeting the very young in order to keep a steady stream of little heros and heroines coming into the Army in order to 'Be the Best' and lay down their lives in an unending war of attrition, the reasons for which were, looking back, highly dubious.

So, when you open a copy of the Argos catalogue today, you will find two pages devoted to these delightful, official H.M. Armed Forces figurines which presumably have been designed to encourage small children to re-enact shooting scenes set in hot, hostile and violent regions of the World with brown faced dolls with bits of towel or fabric wrapped around their heads.

Timmy: "Kerpow! Bang! Crash! Take that you Taliban insurgent! And that! Neeeeeooooow, I need back-up, boys! Send in the bombers! Ch-ch-ch-ch! Neeeeow! Boom! Prepare to taste democracy and die, you evil Taliban man!"

Mother: "Timmy, your friend is at the door."

Timmy: "Who is it, mother?"

Mother: "Its your friend from school, Mohammed. He says he wants to come and play...."

Timmy: "Okay, send him in, Mum!"

"Over. Yeah this is Squadron 14, Private Timmy calling. Over. Yeah, give me a run-down on a name. Yes, it's Mohammed. Yep. Yep. Lives at number 134. Yeah. Looks like a terrorist. Yeah, that's the one. Over. Come in Mohammed!"

Sunday, 20 September 2009

New Outbreak: Thérèsteria



This is an urgent public health warning. Hot on the trotters of Swine Flu a new and deadly virus has swept the nation. Thérèsteria, which is thought to have originated in an obscure French town a couple of hundred years ago, has spread across the channel to the United Kingdom. Initial reports suggest that the new strains of the virus are highly contagious and affect particularly Catholics, both lapsed and practising and militant atheists in differing ways. The frightening disease results in a shocking phenomenom of religious expression among Catholics who begin to mutter prayers before the relics of St Thérèse of Lisieux, and are unable to withstand an inner desire to touch the Chassis containing the relics of a holy woman who they believe is in Heaven. This is a mild version of Thérèsteria the consequences of which appear relatively positive, with sufferers feeling comfort and protection and what some sufferers have described as "Heavenly assistance and consolation amid trials in this vale of tears."

Thérèsteria affects other victims in a different and more profoundly disturbing way, leading militant atheists in positions of influence to write tyrannical rants in The Times, The Sunday Times and The Guardian. Other symptoms of this strain of Thérèsteria among atheists include sweating, sudden paroxysms of irreligious spite and public demands for bones to be banned, whether in persons dead or alive. Some have suggested this could even lead to the banning of the practise of touching people altogether and especially anyone with bones, because bones are highly dangerous and of grave and terrible threat to individuals and society. For these sufferers, the only cure is to take Parris-etemol three times daily. Towns and cities have ordered vast quantities of 'Jenkin's Jabs', an anti-viral injection which is said to combat the disease even though sufficient tests on its efficacy are still unavailable and there is little or no visible proof for the claims made by the manufacturer. Other cures include the less credible 'Just-a-Minette', which leads sufferers to within one 'Minette' of reading a Times column, feel sick to the stomach of the arrogance of atheists to impose their angry and venomous disbelief on the not insignificant number of Catholics resident in the United Kingdom.

If you are suffering the more mild, pleasant and redemptive strain of Thérèsteria then the Vatican advise that you alert the Holy See to graces received or any miracles obtained by the Little Flower and generally go around telling people of your new or renewed devotion to one of the sweetest, most innocent, gentle, humble and charming Saints of all time.

If you feel you are suffering from the less innocuous but more virulent and violent strain of Thérèsteria and are suffering any symptoms such as injured pride, confusion, sweating, sudden violent, unholy and heretical outbursts against God, Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Holy, Immaculate and Blessed Virgin Mary and the Holy Saints of God, then it is advisable that you repent of your ugly heresy. At the very least, the WHO advise that you, 'Chill the **** out and let Catholics do what Catholics have been doing since the Early Church venerated those raised by God to be Martyrs, Saints and Blesseds and that those who were so honoured and graced by God were then raised to the Altar, so that believers may share in their glorious merits and know their powerful intercession before the Throne of Almighty God, lest you become so violently angry that you spontaeneously combust.'

New Guidelines on Assisted Suicide?



"Happy Birthday, Nan! By the way, I'm just popping out for five minutes. If you smell gas, ignore it. Its only the workmen down the road working on some dodgy piping..."

According to the BBC, new 'guidelines' on assisted suicide law will be published by the Director of Public Prosecutions this week to clarify when people are likely to be prosecuted.

'Guidelines'? "Want to kill your granny and get the inheritance? Get yourself a copy of our new 12-step guide! We'll tell you how to knock off the old dear and do it in such a way as to avoid prosecution!"


According to the BBC...

Keir Starmer QC told the BBC factors that would be considered included
whether anyone helping in the suicide stood to gain financially. He said
assisted suicide would remain an offence as the law was unchanged.

Labour minister Ed Balls said he hoped Mr Starmer would "err on the side
of being very, very cautious".'

So let's recap then. The Director of Public Prosecutions is going to suggest that if you want to assist someones suicide, do it, but do it very, very cautiously, as quiet as a mouse and you'll get away with it.

If you do not do it with a profound sense of caution then you might get prosecuted...but probably not. So, in conclusion then, you almost certainly won't get prosecuted, unless you've "manipulated" someone into a suicide in a wicked manner.

But then, let's just think about it, the only truly credible witness to the "manipulation" is probably dead either having put a bag over her head because she felt like it, having had a bag put over her head by you after you've convinced her it was about time she took a sharp turn to the exit marked 'Death', or even because you put a bag over her head and you know there are no witnesses and this will look unmistakenly like a suicide, or even an 'assisted suicide'.

So, you probably won't get prosecuted. In conclusion, then, you almost certainly won't get prosecuted for assisting suicide. Therefore the State sanctions suicide and allows you to 'help' kill your family, friends and relatives with impunity.

Cracking stuff. The idea that this 'decriminalisation' is not wide open to gross and grave abuse is as laughable as the idea that Peter Mandelson isn't harbouring a deep and burning desire to become next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Dark Lord of the Whole Universe simultaeneously. People love grannies. People love grannies with money. People love money. People love their granny's money. Safeguards, they say!? What safeguards! The only truly credible eyewitness is dead, having conveniently left her inheritence to her doting son/daughter! You don't have to be P.D James to imagine what will take place following decriminalisation!

A Letter to Minette Marrin of The Sunday Times



You can write to Minette Marrin and make known your displeasure at her mean-spirited column at
minettemarrin@minettemarin.com. Here's my letter. Nobody expects the Brightonian Inquisition!

Dear Ms Marrin

I have written a response to your article on my blog, That The Bones You Have Crushed May Thrill. Click the link to read it.

I would be thrilled if you would read it. By all means, comment on my analysis of your article on the Relics of St Therese of Lisieux. You and Matthew Parris seem awfully upset by the arrival of her relics and I think it may be a case of 'protesting too much'. Your distress at Catholic piety only lends more credence to the veracity of the Faith.

It was precisely the fact that Christ made people feel uncomfortable that He was crucified for our sakes. It was precisely the fact that the Apostles made people feel uncomfortable that they were martyred for His sake.

By all means, also, mention to your Times columnist colleague, Matthew Parris, that I have written a response to his article which was even more virulent in his prejudiced attitudes towards the Catholic Faith. I am organising a parish trip to Aylesford Priory on 10th October to venerate the Relics of St Therese. So far we have 15 people going from the parish of St Mary Magdalen, Brighton. Both you and Matthew Parris are welcome to come. I mean, why not give it a go? You and Matthew could write articles based on your experiences of Catholic Tradition, rather than your own private prejudice and fear, which appears, if you will forgive me for saying it, to be based not on authentic evidence, but "superstition".

Yours sincerely

Laurence England

The Sign of Contradiction



After Mass today we were discussing Roman Emperors including, of course Constantine, whose conversion to the Holy Faith was to prove so crucial in the spread and security of Christianity across the Roman Empire. In a dream Constantine is shown the Cross and hears the words, "By this sign, thou shalt conquer."

Today, thousands of years later, we are used to the Crucifix. As Catholics the Cross, the Crucifix is an emblem of our Faith. It reminds us of the love that God has for us. It reminds us that God is Love and loved us to the end, that God died for us and by the shedding of His Blood, has purchased our souls. It reminds us of the price of our redemption but also of a God who would sooner undergo death Himself, than allow death to reign over Mankind as a result of the Fall.

I can think of few other professions which entail more self-sacrifice, more love, more compassion and tenderness than nursing. The Crucifix is a fitting sign for a nurse to wear because the job demands Christ-like love, Christ-like self-sacrifice and Christ-like compassion. But in secular Britain today, it is a Sign of Contradiction against the spirit of the age and a cause of scandal and offense in an age in which it seems the love of God is absent or being pushed away.

The Telegraph reports
that one nurse, Shirley Chaplin has been taken off the wards at The Royal Devon and Exeter NHS Trust Hospital after refusing to remove her necklace. She says, "Everyone I have ever worked with has clearly known I am a Christian: it is what motivates me to care for others,” she said. "For about 30 years I have worked in the NHS and nursed patients day and night and on no occasion has my cross caused me or anyone else, any injury – and to my knowledge, no patient has ever complained about me wearing it. I feel that I’m being bullied and victimised because of my faith.”

And so today, it is not, it would appear, a case of, "By this Sign thou shalt conquer." It is a case of, "By this Sign thou shalt be disciplined by your employers or sacked. By this Sign thou shalt be ridiculed. By this Sign thou shalt be hounded out of public and civic life. By this Sign, thou shalt become as an outcast. By this Sign, you will be crucified."

Perhaps that, too, in a way, evil and grossly unjust as it is, is fitting.

Sunday Times Columnist Voices More Opposition to the Little Flower



The most frightening bones in England?

Another Times columnist has had her feathers ruffled by St Thérèse of Lisieux. Why is it that these journalists find the relics of a canonized Saint so very frightening? What they cannot understand, they wish to ban. What they cannot control, they wish to destroy. What they regard as incredible, they wish to deny to the credulous, even those imprisoned believers who yearn just to touch something, someone who has been touched by the Supernatural and the Divine. Someone sanctified by God. This time, Minette Marin of the Times has launched a crusade against the tour of the relics of St Thérèse of Liseiux. The classic irony is that both she and Matthew Parris are so incensed that she is getting publicity...Yet, because they are writing so angrily about her, they are giving her even more publicity, which, frankly, I think is marvellous!
It wasn’t so long ago that Europe was almost awash with gallons of the milk of the Virgin Mary, treasured by the faithful (Anyone remember the Great Catholic European Milk-a-thon of 1965? No? Me neither). And fellow citizens ought usually to be polite enough to keep their critical thoughts to themselves, in the name of courtesy and mutual tolerance.

However, there is a difference in this case. The Catholic Church is actively encouraging people to hope for miracles of healing (The Church is not saying, "Roll up, roll up, get your miracle cures here". The Church is encouraging the Faithful to piety and devotion to a Saint who always had in her prayers those outcasts rejected by society.) These reliquary jamborees can only inflame irrational expectations in people who are suffering and suggestible. Surely it cannot be right to do so. Any face cream promising much lesser miracles — merely the disappearance of wrinkles — would soon fall foul of trading standards officers and have to be withdrawn, to protect the innocent public from being deluded by the false claims of charlatans. Why, then, have the media been so uncritical about this mass deception? (Why should the media be highly critical of a Catholic tradition that goes back to the Early Church? I mean, we expect it, but why?)

The intolerant, triumphalist atheists have never appealed to me (Could've fooled me!). I cannot see why it is so important to them to denounce other people’s religious beliefs so aggressively (So, why then denounce the Faithful's veneration of these relics?). I don’t know why people who pride themselves on their rationality can be so irrationally sure that they are right; absolute certainty is not a rational position (Good point, Melanie!). Besides, Catholics and Christians generally are very often a force for good; most of what’s best in our society is built upon Christian foundations. (Bravo! O boy, this girl is good! Fair, respectful and even-handed!)

All the same, there comes a time when even a peaceable agnostic feels roused to indignation (Uh-oh...She's about to have a funny turn!). For me it was last week, at the news that the Home Office has seen fit to let the bones of the Little Flower into Wormwood Scrubs prison. This almost defies belief (Correction: It defies your unbelief). For, in allowing this, with all the due process and deliberation of bureaucracy, the government is conferring respectability on such relics (Not so, Minette. The Government is allowing the relics of a Saint to visit a prison. This is not illegal immigration nor a matter for HM Customs and Excise. St Therese is not a member of Al-Quaeda. They are merely allowing Catholic prisoners and those of good will to venerate a Saint's relics. In other words, respecting the right to freedom of religious expression. I mean, what are you going to do next? Call for the banning of Mass? I mean, to you Mass is dangerous because Catholics think we receive the Body and Blood of Christ?) And in so doing, it opens wide the gates of reason to let into any public place any and every fetish or juju that any religious group claims is part of its spiritual life. The laws on equality and religious respect will require it.

What the starry progress of the relics of the Little Flower has done for me is to remind me that we have in this country rather too much religious tolerance (Calling for the banning of relics of obscure french nuns who became canonized Saints seems very intolerant to me). The truth is that many religions — perhaps most — have certain doctrines and beliefs that are not merely irrational but sometimes dangerous and unacceptable. (Catholicism. The most dangerous and unacceptable religion in the World! All those St Therese devotees going around doing good, praying for troubled souls and being kind. They must be stopped!)

At this very moment there are religions, with countless adherents in this country, that teach that people can truly be possessed by demons, which must be exorcised, perhaps violently; that witches exist and must be punished or killed; that God has created women inferior and subject to men; that women are unclean and must be excluded from certain places and roles for that reason (Which religion is this? Oh, she must mean Christianity and in particular, Catholicism. She's right of course. I went to Mass last week and after coffee we had three witch burnings, five exorcisms and forced at least three women into labour camps to do washing up and laundry for the men. Thank God for true religion...). These beliefs — held until recently by most of Christian Europe — are actually against the law (This is rubbish. Beliefs, even wicked beliefs with little or nothing to do with Christianity are not against the law. Even Satanists are given a degree of protection against discrimination) in this country and contrary to the universal declaration of human rights. Yet the duty of religious tolerance persuades us to overlook this fact (and we, too, have to tolerate you, your vile anti-Catholic prejudices and your heresy). It persuades us to ignore the truth that religions are not really equal, in the sense that they are not equally benign or harmless. (Read: "Both these bones and the idea that some people believe they are the bones of a Saint who is now in Heaven frighten me terribly. Therefore, I want the State to ban them. Boo-hoo".)

Some religions do promote unacceptable things, while others peddle false hopes here on earth. I would not dream of suggesting that the government return to the ancient tradition of suppressing religious freedom (except that's what I've just said in my last paragraph). But I think we should insist that the Home Office does not lend any extra official respectability to religious hocus-pocus of any kind (Read: "The Home Office should not have allowed these relics to visit Wormwood Scrubs because I don't believe in Catholicism and therefore nobody else should"). Superstition, like St Thérèse, has a curious immortality on earth.
So, Minette. What next? Ban Rosaries? Ban Confession? Ban the Eucharist? Ban the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass? Ban crucifixes? Ban prayer? Ban Catholicism? All of these things are a threat to your world view. All of these things are present in parish Churches in the UK and in prison chapels among the Faithful imprisoned. Today, it seems, people love talking about diversity...until they feel threatened, feel uncomfortable or challenged by one of the religions.

Why is it, Minette that just because you do not believe in God, Saints, Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, the Virgin Mary, Our Lord Jesus Christ, Sin or Redemption that you want to make everyone else in your image and likeness? Anyone would have thought that you were some kind of evangelical anti-Catholic activist with a set of beliefs all of your own that you think should be espoused by everyone else. Let's call it Marrinism. Well, you can practise your Marrinism. We're more interested in Marianism ourselves but hey, you practise your religion if you want. Please, be gracious, and allow us, peacefully, to practise ours.

Friday, 18 September 2009

Red Arrows Fly Over Brighton! Go on Boys!



Nearly forgot to mention! The Red Arrows flew over my head today leaving behind them a trail of red, white and blue smoke. There is an 'extreme sports' festival going on at the beach today. Aren't they wonderful!? Those boys make me feel proud to be British! Seeing them soar over your head with the colourful smoke just makes you want to get off your behind and go and invade a foreign power for Queen and country, for England, for Harry and St George! I'm off down the army office to sign up. If you don't hear from me again then know that over in Afghanistan doing good, helping to rig elections and protecting an embryonic democracy with such laws as licit marital rape. Go on boys! Incredible to think that St Joseph of Cupertino didn't even need a plane!

Cabinet Discussing Spending Cuts



BBC News reports that the Cabinet are, right now, discussing spending cuts. Well, what with the British Government operating an Orwellian surveillance society in the UK, putting CCTV cameras more or less everywhere, I took it upon myself to bug the Cabinet meeting room and here, yes here on the Bones, I have reproduced what the Cabinet have been saying.

PM Gordon Brown: "Well comrades, ahem, I mean colleagues, I've royally screwed up both during my time as Chancellor of the Exchequer when I allowed the banks to lend recklessly and during my tenure in Number 10, making myself the most unpopular Prime Minister since the last gun-toting cowboy who lived here. The economy is in the toilet. So, we're going to have to make cuts. What should we cut? Darling?"

Darling: "Cuts? Well, we should cut stuff important to people who don't vote so much. Go for the weak, lame, poor and powerless, preferably the voiceless."

PM Gordon Brown: "Can you be more specific, Darling?"

Darling: "Alright then. Anyone on benefits. Cut benefits for the long-term sick, unemployed and the elderly. Even better cut the elderly.

PM Gordon Brown: "Cut the elderly?"

Darling: "Yeah, cut them. There's too many of them. They're frail and don't produce stuff for the Gross National Product. What's the point in them?! The nation isn't ready for euthanasia yet, but we can sell it to them once they realise how expensive old people are and we haven't got any money to care for them since you and I flushed billions of pounds down the crapper and bailed out failing toxic banks."

PM Gordon Brown: "Anyone else in mind?"

Darling: "Yes. People with mental health problems and people with learning disabilities. A lot of them don't work. Some of them are in day centres all day long or engaged in voluntary work. Voluntary work? What's the point in that? Also, long term sick people with bad backs and stuff. We give these people money and what do they do? Well, they might do something but they're not doing anything for the ailing, flagging economy that you and I incompetently wrecked."

PM Gordon Brown: "He's right team. Well, I think that's the spending cuts covered. Now, let's all go down to that gratuitously expensive restaurant down the road."

Darling: "Oooh, yes, that place is a bit too pricey for me, though. Since I've become Chancellor I've become a lot more prudent, like you were, the Iron Chancellor, especially since the credit crunch and the Global Economic Recession, the consequences of which mean that I must keep repeating that we are not responsible for any of it and are by no means implicated in our country's sad demise."

PM Gordon Brown: "Oh Darling. You are an Iron Chancellor after my own iron heart. Don't worry. We'll put it on the expenses. Anything to add team? No? Okay, meeting over. You can take the gaffa tape off the rest of the Cabinet's mouths now, Darling."

Darling: "Right away, PM. Cracking meeting!"

Good Grief! 12 Year Old in Sex Change Op Shock!



Courtesy of The Telegraph

The youngster arrived for his first term at secondary school wearing a dress and with long hair in ribboned pigtails after his parents changed his name to a female one by deed poll over the summer holidays.

However, the boy, who is preparing to undergo hormone treatment and sex change surgery, was immediately taunted by classmates who recognised him from primary school. As a result, the 1,000-pupil school in south east England decided to call an emergency assembly ordering children to treat him as a girl and use his new name....

Yes. I remember when I was 12. A confusing time. Hormones going mad, just discovering my body changing and all that. Oh those confusing teenage years. I really didn't know myself very well. Looking back, that vulnerable time of life when you are just crossing over from childhood to manhood is the perfect time to have a doctor take a knife to your genitals, because, let's face it, at the age of 12 you are fully aware of the consequences of your actions and you think things through very carefully. Good grief! Poor child!

Matthew Parris Assails the One True Faith



The last words of St Thérèse of Lisieux were, "My God. I love You!" Tip of the cap to Fr Christopher Back who alerted me to this.

Matthew Parris appears to suffer from some kind of journalistic schizophrenia. I recall him, several months ago, writing a very balanced and generous piece on the benefits of religion, based upon his experiences of meeting people who, because of their faith in God, care for those neglected by the rest of society in Africa. Now he has turned upon the Catholic Faith, in an albeit rather jocular manner, with a rousing 'call to arms' that the veneration of the relics of St Thérèse of Liseiux, in particular, be condemned outright and remain unreported in the national press because the idea of it is ridiculous to him. He forgets, however, that though we are a minority there are plenty of Times reading Catholics in this country who would find his words to be highly insulting. Try explaining your bewilderment in a similar fashion to those who make their annual pilgrimmage to Mecca, dear Brother, and see what you get in return! He forgets, also, that suddenly all of his self-proclaimed, secular ideas of 'tolerance' are so easily thrown out of the window when a display of true religion is presented to him and he feels a little bit threatened...O Mr Parris, you do protest a little too much! We Catholics know how hard life seems when you are kicking against the goads...

'If I believed in a God, I would be thanking Him now for sending me a sign (Not another one?! When will He ever stop?! Anyone would have thought He existed or something!). In yesterday’s newspaper arrived a story to rekindle my atheism. Just when my disbelief was flagging — not for want of certainty but out of weariness with banging on — comes a report that energises me with anger. The relics of St Thérèse of Lisieux, a 19th-century Roman Catholic nun, have arrived in Britain for a month-long tour of England and Wales. (What could be more innocuous than a casket of bones? Anyone would have thought that hate-preacher with a hook for a hand was back in town!)

What? And we’re reporting this deadpan — and not in the Wacky World pages of light magazines? “Organisers said that the arrival of the casket, containing pieces of her thigh and foot bones, was likely to attract hundreds of thousands of pilgrims.” I’m sorry: “pilgrims”? Isn’t the word “dupes”? (Oi, Mr Parris! That's me you're talking about! And about 15 people from St Mary Mags!) Does balanced reporting require neutrality even towards the self-evidently preposterous? Would a conference of the Flat Earth Society get giggle-free treatment on the news?

The faithful will apparently be bringing roses, to be blessed by proximity to the bones. According to the BBC, the relics are thought to possess supernatural powers to promote reconciliation and were taken to Iraq; but it didn’t work. (Yeah, like the Sunnis and the Shias didn't all hug each other, go dancing in the streets and forget their history overnight! Still, just because peace didn't break out generally, does not mean her visit had no benefits at all. Heck! It was worth a try!) The casket will be visiting “28 centres of prayer” (Is that what the Bishops call them nowadays? Wouldn't surprise me!) including many Roman Catholic cathedrals. How can bishops sanction this paganistic nonsense? (Newsflash, Bro! Some of the Bishops probably don't. But hey, that's just their ignorance!) I had been wondering whether Richard Dawkins’s critics were right to complain that his atheism was intolerant; whether we atheists were wrong to rage with such certitude about what is really only an absence of belief. But these relics have performed a miracle: they have re-inspired in me a fiery conviction. We non believers must rage, insist, proclaim. (Chill out, Bro! Man, do you need a holiday or something?! You're so uptight!)

For pity’s sake (he couldn't bring himself to say 'God's'), closet atheists of Britain, come out! Don’t “respect” this credulous folly! (Why not? Is it because we is Catholic?) Don’t let the madnesses of these faith minorities go by default! Stop our politicians kowtowing to nutters! (You want Gordon Brown to put St Therese of Lisieux on the list of dangerous terrorist types who cannot enter the country?) Cease the embarrassed muttering about being “don’t knows” on religion, and shout it out. We do know! (How so?) It isn’t true! All that is necessary for the triumph of religion is that disbelievers should do nothing. God speed to this ludicrous casket of bones; they have reminded me of an eternal truth: agnosticism is not enough.' (Now, now. Don't be greedy!)

Hmm...Clearly the Little Flower has touched a nerve and let's face it...he's got some! This is the problem with atheism and atheists you see. At one moment they can be nice as pie about religion and talk of 'respect' and 'tolerance' and then, suddenly, just like that, they can just switch and go into an anti-religious frenzy that makes it sound like they want to crush any notion of God and snuff out the only Light that can bring true joy to this fallen and tragic World. His piece is rabidly irreligious and it sounds rather like Mr Parris needs some form of anger management counselling, for, in truth, he is raging against a practice which began as early as the Church Herself is.

I'm sure if he met St Thérèse of Lisieux when she was alive on Earth, he would have been absolutely bowled over by her warmth, tenderness, charm, charisma, humility, compassion and holiness and he may have found himself penning a piece entitled, 'The Day I Met a Saint'. Ah, Mr Parris! So are we! That is the reason we venerate her relics! We want to meet her in this life in prayer and know her intercession before the Throne of God, venerate this lady who was so dear, so sweet and close to the Blessed Trinity! It is well known that God wrought many great things through her on Earth and continues to do so in Heaven! We pray to her that we may know the power of her intercession in this life and that we may join her in the next! All of this fury he displays over the veneration of a canonized Saint! It may seem nonsense to you, dear man, but still, I'm quite sure the lady who has upset you for a while is smiling upon you now, even in your rage and gazing upon you kindly, wishing only good things for you. She had a habit of doing that on Earth. She has a habit of doing that now in Heaven. You know what?! I'll bet he hasn't even read her autobiography! But then, neither have I! All I know is she spent her Heaven doing good on Earth and now she still, to this very day, continues to spend her Heaven doing good on Earth. Oh yes, Mr Parris! Oh yes! That'll learn you, good and proper! That said, we still have places on the coach going to Aylesford Priory on the 10th October and you, sir, are welcome to come. Take it away, George!

Thursday, 17 September 2009

Press Coverage of the Arrival of St Therese of Liseiux



Two articles today on the arrival of St Therese of Liseiux in Portsmouth. Non-Catholic commenters who post their comments on the articles appear scandalised by the veneration of relics...For Protestants in particular, it would appear the Saints and the veneration of their relics really gets on their nerves.

Courtesy of The Telegraph

The relics and bones that bring us closer to God: Christopher Howse finds that the allure of relics beats the human revulsion for dead bodies.

A woman who has been dead for 112 years arrives in Plymouth today, and at the weekend thousands are expected to turn out when she moves on to Birmingham.

Thérèse Martin will be the centre of attention in a month-long tour of England and Wales, but while her picture dominates dozens of venues, all to be seen of her in person is a casket that holds her mortal remains.

These old bones of St Thérèse, or Teresa of Lisieux, as she is better known, will not be treated with the unease that relatives show departed loved ones, but as a sort of gateway into heaven for worshippers' devotions. Some will even hope for healing. Hunger for relics may be universal – one of Michael Jackson's gloves has just been auctioned for £30,000 – but dead bodies are a special kind.

I have often seen visitors to Westminster Cathedral recoil after inspecting a glass case in a side chapel. It holds the body of St John Southworth, a kindly man who worked in the slums nearby in the 17th century, and was executed just for being a Catholic priest. His body is decorously dressed in a red chasuble and his face covered in a silver mask. It is just that tourists, curious as they may be to see the world, through the optic of their mobile-phone cameras, are not used to stumbling across dead bodies.

So what's the official line on relics? The Catechism of the Catholic Church puts them in the same category as pilgrimages and holy medals, as expressions of popular piety. But there is a deeply mysterious root to their veneration.

For full article click here.

Ruth Gledhill of The Times infamy adds her comment to the arrival of St Therese, who seems to make an exception of the Saint of the Little Flower in what she perceives as an outdated practice of relic veneration.


Not since the Reformation, and perhaps not even before then, has England seen a pilgrimage quite like this.

The closest comparison might be to the Middle Ages, when “pardoners”, or salesmen, would travel the countryside hawking the “relics” of dead saints to credulous Christians who believed that they could buy themselves less time in Purgatory.

But that would not do justice to the phenomenon of St Thérèse, who within hours of touching down on British soil attracted a queue of hundreds of devout Christians who snaked around the Roman Catholic cathedral in Portsmouth merely to light a candle and touch the Perspex encasing the jacaranda casket in which rest the relics of this 19th-century child-like nun...

For more click here...

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Pullman Accuses St Paul of 'Fervid Imagination' for Faith in the Risen Christ



Philip Pullman, the man whose suspicion of the Catholic Church is so deep, so fervid, vivid and imaginative that he's spent his adult life writing children's stories about it, has accused St Paul, Evangelist, Martyr and Saint of the Church, of a 'fervid imagination' for his proclamation of the Divinity of Christ.

The Times article
says... 'Although full details of the plot are being kept under wraps, the book’s title, The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ, gives a strong indication of Pullman’s views.

“For every man or woman who has been led to goodness by a church, and I know there have been many, there has been another who has been inspired by the same church to a rancid and fanatical bigotry for which the only fitting word is evil,” Pullman said.
Time to put the kettle on, Philip. The one always so often criticised by the pot on the basis of its perceived colour. Only a 'fervid imagination' could come up with Pullman's idea of characaturing the Church and blackening Her name insidiously with rubbish about golden compasses, giant polar bears and an all-pervasive 'Magisterium'.

Not only does Pullman blaspheme the Most Holy Name of Jesus and slander one of the Church's greatest Saints, but he, by default, suggests that anybody who believes in the Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ must suffer then also from the same delusion. Which sounds awfully like bigotry and fanaticism to me, if not wholly offensive.

According to the article, 'Pullman accepts the existence of a holy man called Jesus, but argues that Christ, or the Son of God, was “an invention” of St Paul. “By the time the Gospels were written down, Paul had already begun to transform the story of Jesus into something altogether different and extraordinary,” he said.

“Paul was a literary and imaginative genius, who has had more influence on the world than anybody else, including Jesus. He had this great ability to persuade others and his rhetorical skills have been convincing people for 2,000 years.”'

Okay, Philip. The account of the conversion of St Paul takes place in the Acts of the Apostles, which is not a letter belonging to the pen of St Paul, as far as I know. In the account, a man named Saul was present at the murder of St Stephen and is more or less egging on the men who stoned the Proto-Martyr to death. Saul, who was to become St Paul, on the road to Damascas is converted by Christ from Heaven who says to him, "Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou Me." St Paul is a central figure in the spread of Christianity but not the only figure. St Peter, the Prince of the Apostles, in his letter, also claims the same Faith in the Divinity of Christ, as does St James, another Apostle. Also, so does St Jude. Also, so do the Four Evangelists, St Mark, St John, St Matthew and St Luke, who penned the Gospels. A great many of these men were martyred for what they proclaimed, victims of, dare I say it, 'a rancid and fanatical bigotry for which the only fitting word is evil'.

Natural Family Planning: A Rennaisance?



A baby gets to grips with Humanae Vitae (On Human Life).

Catholic Online
has picked up on article in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee Catholic Herald

'It is no accident there is a three year span between David and Grace Urbanski's fourth and fifth children. They planned it that way. "We had four children in four years," said Grace, an adjunct faculty member in the English department at Marquette University, and a professional vocalist and private voice teacher. "It was physically and emotionally exhausting."

While neither considered artificial contraception an option, they realized that the form of natural family planning that they were using was not working. Married 14 years, the couple, who belong to St. Mary Visitation Parish, Elm Grove, began with the sympto-thermal method taught by the Couple to Couple League. While effective for many, Grace's fertility cycle was erratic and she was unable to achieve an accurate morning basal body temperature reading. "And, if you are out of bed four times a night with babies and have to hit the ground running in the morning, there is no such thing as a stable temperature reading," she explained.

During her fourth pregnancy, Grace wondered if practicing natural family planning was worth it. She prayed in earnest that God would provide an alternative...
For full article click here.

Jimmy Carter: Critics of the President are Racists



According to Jimmy Carter, the man most Americans view as the most ineffectual President in US history, the chief reason for which can only presumably be the colour of his skin, has told the US press that critics of the President are racists.

At the weekend a great many Americans (lowest estimates were penned in the 'tens of thousands', more independent sources quoted 1.5 - 2 million) descended on Washington to protest at the President's agenda for the nation. They are all critics of the current trend in the White House. Are they all racists?

Those who decry the President's abortion legislation on the basis that all are created in the Image and Likeness of God and that to sanction the killing of the unborn is a gross invasion into the womb and an assault on innocent human life? Are they all racist too?

Those who protest at the rationing of health care for the elderly, infirm and terminally ill and the prospect of those people either starving or dehydrating to death in US clinics? Are they all racist too?

Those who defend with their voices the Sanctity of Marriage as being between one man and one woman and that in no way does a homosexual union constitute, either in the eyes of God or man, a fruitful and loving marriage? Are they all racists too?

Those who believe and take umbrage to the appearance that the financial difficulties now being experienced by the US are being taken advantage of in a worrying State takeover of enterprise by stealth, under the guise of 'financial regulation and reform' and that Obama's chief priority is starting to seem like a bid to bring the United States into the iron grip of State socialism, protectionism and control? Are those people racists?

And finally, those who would draw attention to the fact that Jimmy Carter is a leading 'luminary' of the quite possibly nefarious Bilderberg group, a group attended by Timothy Geithner of the current Obama administration, a group accountable to nobody and who black out the publication of any of the discussions which take place therein; a group which intimidate journalists, even Guardian journalists, who try to uncover what is taking place there, a group which clearly has an agenda for the World all of its own? Are those people racists too?

When people claim that democracy, if it ever indeed existed, has been hijacked by a group of eugenicists, thieves, thugs and usurers who, to all extent and purposes, appear to be dyed-in-the-wool Hitler enthusiasts and that Obama is the man they want to get the job done? Are those people racists?

Jimmy Carter. The one thing Hitler hated was the idea that anybody could be critical of his ideas. He was, if ever there was a prime example, an extreme and terrible racist. To denounce critics of President Obama as racist when their concerns are valid, in that they believe that the US Constitution is being torn to shreds along with the God-given dignity of the right to life, is one way in which to engage in a debate. It is, however, not the right way.

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Hey, Brightonians! Your Council Tax Will Fund This Job!



Dum-de-dum-de-dum...There I was checking the local Council jobs website looking for a way out of my current financial black hole, when I came across this and couldn't believe my eyes.

Courtesy of
Brighton and Hove City Council Jobs Website. Outraged commentary highlighted in bold orange as per usual.

Life Coach (Pre- and Post-Termination Support)
[Life Coach?! Life Coach?!]
Salary: Scale SO1-SO2 £ 24,402 - £ 28,353 [The pay goes up, but your soul?]
Fixed-term contract until March 2011
Reference: CYT14988
Location: Wistons Clinic, 138 Dyke Road, Brighton BN1 5PA [That's the Brighton abortion clinic, by the way. Looks like the 'Life' Coach is working in house!]
Hours: Full Time [Clearly the demand is high in this town...]

Closing Date: 5th October 2009
Interview Date: 15th October 2009

This post is part of the city partnership working to reduce unplanned early conceptions for young women under 19 and to improve the EET (Education, Employment and Training) and health outcomes for young parents.

The post holder will deliver high quality packages of psychological interventions to young women who will have accessed BPAS (British Pregnancy Advisory Service) for a termination. The post holder will assist in building psychological and emotional resilience ["Be strong and terminate. Because your worth it! Don't worry about the child!"] amongst the young women, to ensure positive and healthy relationships with partners, reduce the likelihood of second conception [Yes, I hear abortion can do that!], improve self esteem, improve aspirations for themselves and engagement in positive activities/with other services where appropriate.

The post holder will have an accredited professional qualification in: counselling, psychology, mental health nursing, occupational therapy or psychotherapy and a working knowledge and experience of specific therapeutic approaches and techniques (especially CBT, motivational interviewing, and solution-focused models) when working with young people under 19.

The post holder will be supervised and employed by the IYSS within Brighton and Hove Children and Young People’s Trust and managed by BPAS. BPAS is a national pro-abortion organisation and the post holder will be expected to work within this ethos. This post is exempt from the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act 1974 and is subject to a Criminal Records Bureau (CRB) Disclosure check. More information on CRB Checks [Nope, you don't need a CRB check to help kill the unborn!].
Shall I apply and see if I can get an interview?

Gender: Male
Ethnic Origin: White British/European
Sexuality: Oh good grief, do I have to say? Oh alright, if you must...No, sod it, its none of your business and what's more I don't want to get this job to fill some outrageous quota.
Religion: ROMAN CATHOLIC!!

Where's my lawyer?! Oh I don't have one! Do you see the problem? I would be denied the job because of my religion, which is discrimination and that would be in breach of the Equality Act, because there is no reason why I shouldn't be a counsellor for 'pre-' and 'post-' abortive women. I'd just counsel them according to my conscience and that would be what would stop me from getting the job.


Anyway, regardless of the obvious legal quagmire, and the fact I'd never want to work in an abortion clinic, let's cut to the chase...

The Council is advertising to pay, from the local Brighton and Hove citizens' Council Tax, for a post in which you offer 'pre-' and 'post-' abortive counselling on behalf of a PRO-ABORTION PREGNANCY ADVICE SERVICE, FULL-TIME, IN AN ABORTION CLINIC! WHAT IS MORE, THEY'RE GOING TO BE PAYING THAT PERSON UP TO £28K A YEAR!

"Hello, it that The Evening Argus?"

Dan Brown's New Masonic Rollercoaster



Annuit coeptis novus ordo seclorum MDCCLXXVI
Announcing the birth of (the) New World Order 1776 (The year, apparently, that the 'Illuminati' formed)

Will Heaven blogs about Dan Brown's new snore, I mean thriller, 'The Lost Symbol' in which having taken on the Holy Church, the Gates of which he and all of Hell can never prevail, he examines the shadowy sect which never gets blamed for anything, breaks every 'equality law' in the book and perhaps to this day wields more power in finance, the police, the courts, politics and society than we can know. The Freemasons, a group so innocuous and uninfluential that they left their symbolism all over the dollar bill, a symbol that can never be lost, unless it gets crashed and a new World Currency comes in. Don't get me started!

Meanwhile, according to Catholic Online, Catholic League president Bill Donohue has commented on Dan Brown’s 'The Lost Symbol' and his apparent fondness of Freemasons, according to an AP report.
"Dan Brown may loathe Catholics, but he just adores the Masons. Brown goes out of his way in ‘The Lost Symbol’ to present the lodge as essentially benign and misunderstood. The Catholic Church, of course, is seen by Brown as essentially wicked and misunderstood only by its followers. Masons are praised for their religious tolerance,” the article says.

"Somehow Catholics failed to notice: so abhorrent were Masons in their thrashing of Catholicism that the 1917 Code of Canon Law provided for automatic excommunication to any Catholic who joined a lodge. The current stricture in the Church, following the 1983 revisions to the Code, doesn’t mention Masons by name, but does retain excommunication for those who join anti-Catholic organizations."

"In his new book, Brown defends the Masons against “unfair” portrayals. So kind of him. In real life Brown says he has “enormous respect for the Masons.” Must be their historic anti-Catholicism that won him over."

"Showing nothing but sweetness and light, the man who has made millions dumping on the Catholic Church says of his new work, “It’s a reverent look at their philosophy. I’m more interested in what they believe than all their rituals and conspiracy theories about them.”

"Now if only Brown had cut Catholics the same break," says Donohue.

"Brown says his own religious beliefs are a “work in progress.” Indeed, he is a work in progress. I spend part of every day thinking about religion, spirituality and God — maybe more than people who go to church. By Sunday, I’m pretty tired.”

"Good choice. The Lord said that was the day to rest. Maybe Brown will convert yet. Ron Howard must be salivating at the thought of directing the film version. At least he won’t have the Catholic League to kick him around."

St Mary Magdalen & St Pancras Pilgrimmage



We've booked the coach, we've booked the place and the St Mary Magdalen & St Pancras (Lewes) Pilgrimmage is on! Any brother or sister St Mary Magdalen's parishioners who want to come to Aylesford Priory on Saturday 10th October, to venerate the Relics of St Therese of Lisieux, Doctor of the Church and all round giant Saint, then sign the form at the back of the Church. There are 35 places available on the coach, well 34, now I've signed up...okay 33 now that John from St Mary Magdalen's has signed up, so get your places as soon as possible. The cost is £15 but remember that is a bargain when you consider the good it will do your soul in this life and the next. If you would genuinely struggle to pay the cost the parish has a small fund to help the disadvantaged.

The Tablet Embraces the Traditional Latin Mass!



You've got to be taking The Tablet! Or is that taking the Mickens?! Well, of course they probably are. The Tablet embraced the Traditional Latin Mass for all of 45 minutes and then instead of saying, "Twist", the publication decided to say "Stick" and play safe, grabbing the nearest copy of Celebrational Hymns Old and New (but mostly new) that they could. Well, they probably meant "Stick it up your..."

Bobby Mickens has come in for more scorn from Damian Thompson, having penned a not-very-in-depth reflection of his first ever full Traditional Latin Mass in The Tablet this month. It is a shame that Bobby felt that he just couldn't get into it and felt confused by the rubrics but I would urge him not to give up entirely on the Mass that has been celebrated down the ages. If it was good enough for the most holy Saints venerated by Holy Mother Church, Bobby, it might just be good enough for you, and let's face it Bro, none of them became Saints without periods of dryness, confusion, doubt, sadness, pain, discouragement or even "dizzyness". It wasn't all ecstacy and it is perhaps in the fact that they didn't resort to the artificial 'joy' of 'Shine Jesus Shine' that Our Lord was able to truly shine in them. The Lord asks only that we perservere in truly seeking Him.

Anyway, it is a shame for Bobby since the richness of the Traditional Latin Mass is, undoubtedly, in what he feels are its weaknesses. It is perhaps in the not knowing, or the 'Unknowing', the Mystery, the Grace and the solemnity of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass itself that we can find a God who we can know. Furthermore, the strength of the TLM is that it encourages us to know God on His terms, rather than ours. Perhaps the Latin Mass helps us to know God as He is rather than Who we think He is or even Who we would like Him to be.

Call me a purist, but then God is Pure and the TLM reflects this. The Traditonal Latin Mass, from my experience of it, far from adding a great deal, appears to benefit from having so much additional baggage removed and stripped away, revealing the Gem at the heart of it - the Most Holy Eucharist. The movement from each stage of the Mass is fluid and graceful, what with the Sign of Peace being removed, while the Priest doesn't have to stop and start when the liturgical music comes in and is able to get on with being a Priest and celebrating the Mass. Rightly, he describes the music he experienced at a church in Rome as aiding 'meditation'. This is indeed a positive and the music, at its best, is meant to aid not just meditation but lead the Faithful into contemplation, not of ourselves, but of God.

Unfortunately, all of this is not to everyone's taste and at the end of the day some people are going to prefer a more comfortable ride. Still, Bobby, remember that the Holy Father has made this Mass and a return to Tradition, the rich and deep roots of the Church, a priority in his Pontificate. As such an influential journalist and thinker working for a Catholic magazine, I would suggest that you be open-minded about what the Holy Father is saying, if not for yourself, then for your readers, lest your publication be accused once more of flying in the face of the wishes of the Successor of St Peter. Otherwise some would worry that the Treasures of the Church being given so graciously to you and your Tablet colleagues are like throwing pearls before...

Monday, 14 September 2009

Obama the Catholic? What the...?!



Nice halo, shame about the attacks on the unborn...Let's imagine the damage to the Holy Faith done by the acceptance of the 'out of line' Tony Blair and multiply that by a thousand....

With thanks to the commentor, Monica Edith, for this link to an article suggesting that Barack Obama wants to become a Catholic. This cannot be for real. If it is, I would suggest we are either in for a fantastic reversal of Obama's previously long held partnership with Planned Parenthood, or we are in for a total disaster worthy of even more scholarly pouring over the final book of Sacred Scripture. There is, without a doubt, an insidious and diabolical conspiracy to destroy Holy Mother Church from within, and unless Obama's conversion were real and he renounced his current policies, there is no way he should be accepted. The Church would be co-opted in the US and the World because the Message of Salvation would be blunted and confused by Obama's policies. If these policies changed due to his conversion then fantastic, but somehow I don't think that is on his agenda. If his conversion is real then he would almost certainly be martyred. If his conversion is false then things in America will continue in the disasterous direction in which the country is headed. Barack. If you really want to be JFK then you have to be willing to take a bullet from people who just don't like 'change'.

Courtesy of Europa

There had been talk of his obvious sensitivity regards to Catholicism for some time now. Now his “catholic sensibility” appears to have become fervent adhesion to the Church of Rome, which, as soon as “politically” possible should be sealed by Baptism. Hence Barack Obama would be the second Catholic President in the History of the United States after John Fitzgerald Kennedy. His conversion, however, would not take place during his current mandate, but in the course of a second one, or more probably when he becomes a former President; just like Tony Blair, who converted to Catholicism only after leaving 10 Downing Street.

Rumours concerning what some have even called his “secret conversion”, as if it already taken place, increased after the long and moving funeral for his friend Teddy Kennedy held at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Basilica in Boston, last August 29th. The American President was clearly moved and captivated by the service. His funeral oration for the deceased senator emphasised – with participation that was not only emotive – work for the underprivileged, marked by the church’s social doctrine, that had characterised Kennedy’s political career. Obama’s words and the tone he spoke in implied genuine syntony with those same principles as well as a commitment to continue his legacy.

Although brief, his meeting with Cardinal Sean Patrick O’Malley was not a formality. Challenging the anathema of his traditionalist colleagues, the Cardinal attended the funeral of a politician considered, to say the least, “out of line”, due to his position in favour of freedom of choice regarding abortion and civil unions between people of the same gender. He attended also out of courtesy to the President, an aggravating circumstance according to conservative Catholics, but also an opportunity, as O’Malley himself explained, to tell Obama, above all, that “the bishops of the Catholic Church are anxious to support a plan for universal health care” and also to remind the President that they will "not support a plan that will include a provision for abortion or could open the way to abortions in the future.” And the President? “He was gracious in the short time we spoke, he listened intently to what I was saying.” In short, beyond all official positions, there is a President who listens as far as subjects dear to the Catholic hierarchies are concerned. The President is ready to do everything possible to contain the abortion phenomena, as he told Benedict XVI during an audience in the Vatican last July 10th...

For full story click here.

Sunday, 13 September 2009

NYC Mayors Who Couldn't Give a Dickens...



I just watched a programme on Channel 4 about how the German U-boats destroyed so many US ships in the war because of one commanders utter stupidity and indifference to human suffering, with a firm ideological conviction in the 'American way'. My Anglican friend told me that another master and commander, the Mayor of New York, seems to be suffering the same basic character flaws. In 1999, zero tolerance, the War on Homelessness otherwise known as the War on the Homeless took another direction in New York City, with Mayor Giuliani unveliing a plan to make the New York homeless work for their shelter. This plan was opposed fiercely in 1999 by both churches and homeless advocate groups and from what I have seen on the web it didn't get ratified.

I searched on the web for information on the plan and found this link from activists who sought to campaign against the plan. It is a snippet from what the homeless in New York got from Mayor Giuliani, namely, zero. Apparently Giuliani is a Catholic, last I heard. I guess he is one of those Catholics in power who, like Pelosi, Biden and the late Kennedy who are not particularly interested in the words of Christ, not even the stuff about helping the poor. I remember all this hoo-hah about 'zero tolerance' around that time and how very 'efficient' Giuliani was at dealing with vagrancy. Around the year 2000, 3.5 million people were homeless in the US, compared to 1.8 million in 1987. I know Giuliani has been unpopular in various quarters in the US, but I didn't realise he was a total...

It turns out that now Mayor Bloomberg is also ratcheting another plan to give it another crack of the whip. Here we are, then in the year 2009, a look at the NYC.gov website and Mayor Bloomberg is unveling a reform package.

New York City Department of Homeless Services (DHS) Commissioner Robert Hess (related to Rudolf?) today announced a package of reforms—from expanded prevention before homelessness begins to new rental assistance strategies that help clients move beyond shelter— that focuses on work as the path to self-sufficiency. The centerpiece of the reform package is Work Advantage, a rental subsidy which will help those in shelter secure permanent housing and reduce their reliance on public supports by rewarding work (Hmm...Sounds like work for shelter to me!). DHS’ comprehensive approach builds on the strengths of previous reforms and puts the Agency in position to meet the goals set by Mayor Bloomberg’s Five-Year Action Plan to reduce homelessness by two-thirds by 2009. (A 'final' solution?)
When I say this is the reason I take a strong dislike to America, don't take it personally. I like Americans, in fact, one of my best friends is American. But the US government and the recent Mayors of New York stink to high heaven and have for a good while! In America and more and more in this country, if you don't have money you don't matter. What with homelessness going up in the US due to the foreclosure/sub-prime mortgage crisis, this could be a long, cold, lonely winter...

Rule Britannia...Are you sure?



"Rule Britannia! Britannia rule the waves. Britons never, never, never shall be slaves."

All that flag-waving nonsense. Personally I can't stand the Proms but...guys, check out this link and think again. Apparently, we Britons are guilty until proven innocent now. If there is one thing this Government seems determined to do right now it is to put its citizens in chains.

'Stolen Hearts' and Stolen Heart Tissue



Two stories in The Telegraph suggest that we, as a society, have an increasingly self-serving, skewed view of human life. The first story reports that Elton John and his partner David Furnish have had their hearts 'stolen' by a Ukrainian boy, aged 14 months, in an orphanage and have now taken the media around the place to tell everyone how much both would like to adopt him and raise him as their own.
Elton John said, "David and I have always talked about adoption, David always wanted to adopt a child and I always said 'no' because I am 62 and I think because of the travelling I do and the life I have, maybe it wouldn't be fair for the child. But having seen Lev today, I would love to adopt him. I don't know how we do that but he has stolen my heart. And he has stolen David's heart and it would be wonderful if we can have a home. I've changed my mind today. Last week I lost one of my best friends, my keyboard player died of a heart attack at 52. It broke my heart because he was such a genius and so young and has two wonderful children. What better opportunity to replace someone I lost than to replace him with someone I can give a future to.
And knowing the way things happen in the fantastical world of celebrity, he will probably get his way. But it is more than a little worrying that an aging rock star in a homosexual relationship, who tours so much and has always had the flamboyant edge that has endeared him to millions, will considered to adopt a little boy, while children are often removed from families in this country, sometimes very unjustly. The boy has 'stolen their hearts'. It makes it sound as if they have found some cute puppy at Battersea Dogs Home. Secondly, he sees the boy as a replacement for his keyboardist who died recently. Thirdly, he's bringing an adolescent into his homosexual relationship. I'm not sure what circles Elton moves in but I know the guy loves a party. Evidently, by his own words, the expressed decision is all about him, rather than the best interests of the child.

Meanwhile, The Telegraph also reports that 'tens of thousands of samples of human tissue will be offered for use in controversial human/animal hybrid embryo research without the consent of the patients who donated them'. That is, if you go to the NHS for a treatment and some of your bodily/muscle/organ tissue or blood is taken and stored, then parts of you could be used in the horrific human/animal hybrid embryo experimentation so despised by a large proportion of the country (and this is not just limited to Catholics).

These two stories suggest that human life belongs to us, can be possessed by us and can be used to serve our needs. Both of these reports suggest a lack of healthy respect for life born and unborn, of life visible, which we cannot ignore and life hidden in laboratories, of which we hear much less. Elton and David have had their hearts stolen by a Ukranian orphan, who would be stolen from his country of origin and his roots. Our heart tissue can be stolen and used to experiment on bastardised human life in the laboratory and those lives can then be stolen and used for 'scientific and medical advancement'. Parts of those embryos would then be stolen for such purposes and then those embryos would be killed. Somehow, we are moving towards a future in which everything can be owned, everything can be bought or gained by theft and nothing, absolutely nothing, is sacred. The answer to this trend lies in the Heart pictured above.

Saturday, 12 September 2009

Derren Brown: Very Clever Illusionist or Psychic Hobbit Wizard?



Does this guy need a massive round of applause or a good torching? Click here for full story. Meanwhile, I'll buy some kindling...When my ex-flatmate and I watched his programme one of us would pop out to make a cup of tea and come back in the room with our fingers waggling from our forehead and say, "I know your thinking! Derren Brown! Psychic hobbit!" Apparently, he is a Catholic who gave up the Holy Faith to become an expert in the occult, I mean, the world of magic and illusion.

Pro-Lifer Shot Multiple Times and Killed



Courtesy of Creative Minority Report

Creative Minority Report are stating categorically that initial public reactions to his murder in the Huffington Post are chilling, comparing the outrage over the killing of Dr George Tiller, the US's most notorious late-term abortionist, with the less outraged reaction to this killing. James Pouillon, 63, was known as "just a nice, elderly gentleman who was disabled, used an oxygen tank and wore leg braces." As Fr Tim has pointed out, the BBC have not picked up on this story. The Guardian has, but I doubt their Life and Style section will fume about the atrocity like it did over the death of Tiller. It will be interesting to see how much comment this gets.
'State police at the Corunna post have confirmed a well-known anti-abortion activist was shot multiple times and killed this morning in front of Owosso High School. The victim's identity has not yet been released but the shooting occurred around 7:30 a.m., after most students were off the buses and safely inside the building, said Owosso schools transportation supervisor Jayne Campbell.

State police also confirmed that a suspect was taken into custody about 8:15 a.m. at the suspect's home...A black car can be seen parked at the corner of North and Whitehaven streets, where a portable oxygen tank is lying in a front yard next to a large sign bearing the image of a baby and the word "Life."'
Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord and may perpetual light shine upon him.

Apostolicam! Noooooooooooooooo! Why?! Why?!



One of my fish has died! Details of how this fishicide occured are sketchy, but the first suspicion has to be a brutal assault by one of the fish on Apostolicam. I've stuck 'Police Line Do Not Cross' tape all around the fish tank and sealed off the area, erecting a small floating tent to house some forensic fish to investigate. I don't know how it happened but eye witnesses accounts suggest that the assault occured after Apostolicam suggested that Mass in the Extraodinary Form was "just a load of Latin gobbledegook" and he hated it when the Priest celebrated Ad Orientem because he "turns his back on me." One of the other fish took exception to Apostolicam's misunderstanding and lost his temper and fishously attacked him. When I arrived on the scene Apostolicam was unable to swim and was floating around on his back and side struggling to breathe. Please pray for him in his journey in the next life and his journey in this life down the pipes of the toilet and sewer sytem of Brighton. Flushing him was not easy for me. May he rest in peace. The remaining fish are now staring at me and making me feel uneasy, as if somehow I have murdered Apostolicam. I'm concerned they are now in mourning. What was I meant to do!? Leave the poor fish, who you probably half-killed, floating around having something akin to an extreme asthmatic episode?!

Thursday, 10 September 2009

The Bells! The Bells!



The BBC reports today that the bells of a (I assume now Anglican) Church dedicated to my holy patron, St Lawrence, are ringing once more and that they are the World's oldest circle of bells. For the first time in almost 25 years, 'Ipswich is waking up to a unique medieval sound'.

'The Suffolk town's St Lawrence Church houses the oldest circle of church bells in the world. The five bells have been silent since the 1980s, but now they are ringing out over the rooftops once again. The restoration of the church, its tower and the five bells, which date back to the 15th century, has cost more than £100,000.

The oldest were cast in the 1440s. For hundreds of years they rang out from the church's distinctive tower in the heart of Ipswich town centre. But when the parish at St Lawrence dwindled away the building fell into disuse, then disrepair. The tower was declared too unstable for the bells to be rung, and they have been quiet since 1985.

'...The bells are known locally as Wolsey's Bells. Henry VIII's most influential adviser, (before Henry went mental, that is, and caused the rupture that means the delightful Ipswich church is no longer Catholic) Cardinal Wolsey, grew up in the area and would have heard them as a boy.'
For full story with video click here. If the Anglicans can raise £100,000 to fix the bells of a Grade II listed building, the same current grade of St Mary Magdalen's, then that should give us in Brighton some hope! Unfortunately, it appears that the church has now been turned into a community centre.

The Ipswich Lib Dems website confirms that, 'The medieval town centre church of St Lawrence will soon begin a new life as a 21st Century community facility for the people of Ipswich, when it reopens on Thursday 8th May. The project has been funded by Ipswich Borough Council and a Government Growth Point Status grant of £700,000.'

Oh, so that's how they get their money. By turning the church into a community centre! Cracking! Looks like another vintage once-Catholic-now Anglican church has been turned into a hall for yoga, tai chi and co-dependents anonymous. Nice one, Henry!

NHS: The National Horrifying Scandal

This story blows every other story today out of the water. Totally. Yes, even the one about how the UN are trying to enforce guidelines on nations to teach and promote abortion and masturbation to children as young as five. Who gave them the right to start bossing us around on how to corrupt our nation's youth? Oi, UN! Get lost! Nobody asked you for your advice and besides, nobody can corrupt the nation's youth as well as we can. We don't need lessons! If you can't protect 5-year-olds from sex, let alone whole Rwandan tribes from mass murder, then how on earth could you be trusted to run a single currency?!

H/T to Creative Minority Report who spotted this story on the Daily Mail website.

Clearly, unless the Government enshrine the right to life in Parliament and do what the Church has always proclaimed it should - defend all human life - Doctors and medical staff will continue to show breathtaking disregard to the elderly, the unborn and, according to many people, just about anyone who walks through the door. I went to hospital with a friend of mine recently and she said, quite plainly, "They just don't care. Some do, but most don't care." This story is horrendous and for once I am rendered near speechless...

Sarah has set up a website called Justice for Jayden which you can visit here.

Doctors left a premature baby to die because he was born two days too early, his devastated mother claimed yesterday. Sarah Capewell begged them to save her tiny son, who was born just 21 weeks and five days into her pregnancy - almost four months early. They ignored her pleas and allegedly told her they were following national guidelines that babies born before 22 weeks should not be given medical treatment.

Miss Capewell, 23, said doctors refused to even see her son Jayden, who lived for almost two hours without any medical support. She said he was breathing unaided, had a strong heartbeat and was even moving his arms and legs, but medics refused to admit him to a special care baby unit. Miss Capewell is now fighting for a review of the medical guidelines...

[For full story click here...]

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Mortuorum


Unless these two baby fish have a gift for hiding which even Osama Bin Laden would admire, I'm afraid that new baby fish 'Resurrectionem' and 'Baptisma' are now 'Mortuorum', having presumably been 'Et' by one, or possibly two of the semi-tropical fish.

Rest assured that I will not rest until the culprit is found. All six remaining fish have been extraordinarily rendered to a small tank called 'Santa Magdalena Bay' on a nearby shelf where normal codes of fishy rights are not recognised. Here they will be interrogated until one of them admits to the atrocity. All methods of interrogating will be considered, including waterboarding. No, wait...That might not work. Some kind of drip, drip sleep deprivation. No, wait...That won't work either.

This World is so cruel. It is sad that some fish will have to pay for this outrage. I'm going to put the fish inside the tank on 'orange alert' and ratchet up the terror threat so that the innocent fish spend the rest of their days living in fear of the next attack. I know, having watched the devilishly cunning behavior of the last US administration, and probably the current one, that if I can keep the fish in a perpetual state of fear then habeus corpus and the fishy constitution soon won't be worth the paper they are written on. Gradually, over a period of time my evil plans for a 'one tank order' will triumph, with one charismatic puppet fish at the head enslaving them in a diabolical plan for tankal domination.

Mwa-hah-hah! Mwa-hah-hah! Mwa-hah-hah! Mwa-hah...Okay, I'll stop now.

Save the Planet...Use a Condom and Abort!



Sir David Attenborough patron of the Optimum Population Trust. "Reducing emissions is...simples!"

The Telegraph today reports...
Every £4 spent on family planning over the next four decades would reduce global CO2 emissions by more than a ton, whereas a minimum of £19 would have to be spent on low-carbon technologies to achieve the same result, the research says. (Is there any area of our lives which is not 'for sale'?)

The report, 'Fewer Emitters, Lower Emissions, Less Cost', concludes that family planning should be seen as one of the primary methods of emissions reduction. The UN estimates that 40 per cent of all pregnancies worldwide are unintended. (Ah, the UN again! United Nations? United Nazis more like!)

If these basic family planning needs were met, 34 gigatons (billion tonnes) of CO2 would be saved – equivalent to nearly 6 times the annual emissions of the US and almost 60 times the UK’s annual total. (You've got to hand it to their statisticians. They've certainly done their sums. Fewer people = fewer emissions).

Roger Martin, chairman of the Optimum Population Trust at the LSE, said: “It’s always been obvious that total emissions depend on the number of emitters as well as their individual emissions – the carbon tonnage can’t shoot down as we want, while the population keeps shooting up.”

UN data suggests that meeting unmet need for family planning would reduce unintended births by 72 per cent, reducing projected world population in 2050 by half a billion to 8.64 million.

The research is published on the day that the Government’s climate change advisers, the Climate Change Committee, warned households and industry that a planned 80 per cent reduction in emissions are likely to prove insufficient. (What is that on the horizon? Oh, it's a future 'cap' on the number of children per family...)
So the UN, the same UN that wants a single currency for the whole world, also want to reduce the World's population by half a billion. What is it about people that the UN do not like? Last time I checked the UN had enshrined in its Declaration of Human Rights the Right to a Family. Hey guys! What changed!?

Quite a lot it would seem. According to these heretical, unelected bureaucrats, the answer to reducing emissions lies not in curbing the excesses of big polluters but in reducing the number of emitters. That is...you guessed it! Us! Incredible. The Optimum Population Trust's motto, by the way, is 'Stop at Two' and encourages people to make a 'pledge' to do just that. "'Stop at Two', what?", you might ask! Stop at two in the morning? No, they mean stop at two children.

I'm going to follow the advice of patrons of the trust, Sir David Attenborough and Jonathon Porritt, and when I see two children I'll stop and say, "Dear small children, I urge you to write a letter to David Attenborough and Jonathon Porrit and tell them they are espousing wicked creeds, because they want to reduce the number of children being born in the World just because Attenborough is obsessed with ensuring the snow leopard doesn't end up extinct. Tell them that you, as children, are glad that you are alive and that Porrit and his mate Attenborough can shove the snow leopards up their a**ses if it means your brothers and sisters have to get aborted to save them."

I wonder if the Optimum Population Trust have an exact optimum population figure in mind. To both the UN and to the Optimum Population Trust we, human beings, are a problem, not a solution, a burden, not a gift. At best, we are a statistic and at worst, we are as important as a UN delegates paper claim for air travel and hotel expenses.

Pope to Beatify Five in October/November


Eustachio Kugler

Zenit reports that Benedict XVI has approved the beatification of five people in October and November, one of whom will be beatified in his former diocese of Regensburg.

The list was announced today by Office of Liturgical Celebrations of the Supreme Pontiff.

Those who will be beatified are:

Eustachio Kugler (born Joseph), a German professed religious of the Hospitaller Order of St. John of God. His beatification will take place Oct. 4 in Regensburg, Germany.

Ciriaco María Sancha y Hervás, a Spanish cardinal and archbishop, who founded the Congregation of the Sisters of Charity of Cardinal Sancha. He will be beatified Oct. 18 in Toledo, Spain.



Carlo Gnocchi, an Italian diocesan priest and founder of the "Pro Juventute" Foundation. He will be beatified Oct. 25 in Milan, Italy.

Zoltan Lajos Meszlenyi, a Hungarian bishop and martyr. He will be beatified Oct. 31 in Esztergom, Hungary.

Maria Alfonsina Danil Ghattas (born Soultaneh Maria), co- founder of the Congregation of the Sisters of the Most Holy Rosary of Jerusalem. She will be beatified Nov. 22, solemnity of Christ the King, in the Basilica of the Annunciation in Nazareth.

Baby Fish!



Exciting news! Yesterday I discovered, during the transfer of the fish to a new and larger fish tank, that some of the fish have had babies. Two very tiny fish! Only problem is today I cannot find them. The other fish have either eaten them or they are hiding in a the shellery.

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Take the Single Global Currency Association Poll!



There's a website for the 'Single Global Currency Association,' an association which advocates the scrapping of the dollar (You really want to get rid of the 'In God We Trust' bit on the dollar, don't you? Understandable. I kind of always doubted the Federal Reserve's sincerity on that one!) and the introduction of a new global currency.

They are based in, wait for it, Newcastle, ME (Is that Memphis?) USA! Hah! Would you credit it?! Talk about dismantling the currency from the inside! You can visit their website and take the poll questioned, 'Would you strongly favor, somewhat favor, somewhat oppose, or strongly oppose a single global currency, where all the people of the world would use the same money?'

Crikey! This global currency malarky is fishier than the contents of my fish tank. What is even more fishy is that financial guru and huge financial profit, George Soros, the guy who made a windfall on the back of the 'Lamontable' UK recession of the Major years, called for this in his book, 'The Alchemy of Finance' in 1987.
Exchange rate misalignments have become a major source of disruption for the world economy.... The question is: what can be done about it?...Or most daring of all, we could establish an international currency". (p. 328) (I say! What a spiffing idea!)

"The question is whether our government has the foresight, and our people the will, to accept the discipline that an international currency would impose." (p. 339) (Well, let's wait until a worldwide economic crisis and let's see how people feel then, be patient, George, be patient!)
"We cannot have a smoothly functioning international economy without a stable international currency." (p. 358) (Uh-huh, so we've gathered you are keen on the idea...)

"We desperately need an international currency system that is not based on the dollar...The ideal solution would be a genuine international currency, issued and controlled by a genuine international bank.... The idea of an international currency and an international bank has few supporters...." (p. 359) (Still, keep hoping George because your dreams could just come true...Honestly! Its amazing how regularly he is right in his global economic predictions/aspirations, isn't it?! Anyone would have thought he was whispering his ideas regularly in the ears of elected world leaders! Soros also takes an unhealthy interest in population 'control'. See this link).

UN Calls for Global Currency: Uh-Oh!



Time to start quoting, wildly, passages from Revelations with an A-board on your back?

People who believe that there is an elite group of financial and political billionaires conspiring to enslave the World underneath one currency, one government and one ruling leader will be in one way saddened that their fears have been confirmed by the UN, and in another breath, overjoyed that they can say, "I told you they were going to do this". Check out The Telegraph article if you think 'they' (lizards/aliens/cockroaches/masons *delete as appropriate) are organising a One World Government...or not. I am not sure, but I don't think this is what Pope Benedict XVI had in mind when he wrote Caritas in Veritate.

We have been quite used to political leaders and the media describing the recession as a 'global' recession. We are used to hearing about the 'global' economy. Both Gordon Brown and Tony Blair have been banging on about 'globalisation' and the 'world economy' for ages. It is, of course, a pretty intangible thing, until you make the next giant leap forward to the 'world currency' which would 'save' nations and individuals from economic hardship. Alarm bells will be ringing in the bedsits of conspiracy theorists, however, as no suggestion as to how this new 'currency' would operate have been released. Most conspiracy theorists, I think, will assume that the most efficient, quickest and easiest way in which you could operate a new global currency would be if cash did not exist at all, but instead, people were micro-chipped, perhaps in the hand or the forehead so that buying and selling is made easier and convenient...And then they start talking about the Book of Revelations...and then and only then do they buy an A-board...How would a new global currency affect buskers? More importantly, how would a new global currency affect Church Building Restoration Funds?

Check out the comments. Telegraph readers are going ballistic! Ironically, all the currencies on the markets seem to be going up. I'll never understand economics...What will be the name of the new currency? The Yen? No, too culturally exclusive. Germany ditched their currency and accepted the Euro ages ago, so it looks like 'The Mark' is available again...

Exclusive! That Obama School Speech in Full!



Hi, there! I'm speaking to you as I visit some random school somewhere in the United States of America. As your new President, I feel like the first day back at school, or for some of you, your very first day at school, is a great opportunity to show you how I want my influence to extend to every sphere of public life and to ram down your throat just how much I depend on your obedience and the acceleration of an ever more bizarre and disturbing cult of personality, revolving around me, which I want to be embraced by even you, school children aged 5 - 16, because you guys are the future!

I'm addressing you today to encourage you to really knuckle down this year and listen to my honeyed words, because I'm going to need you and your support if I am going to build this country into a despotic socialist utopia in which every area of civic life is under the control of my increasingly tyrannical government, and, of course, also to wish you good luck in your education...but mostly me and my henchmen want your minds so that over a period of a few years we can indoctrinate you with state public policy, the likes of which my predecessor George Bush Jnr could never have dreamt of getting away with, because everybody hated his guts, totally understandably.

The main thrust of my message today is that if you want to be like me and succeed against the odds in a romantic, American dream, my-back-was-up-against-it-but-I-fought-to-the-top-even-though-I'm-black way, then you are going to have to work hard. Real hard! It might also help to get picked up by powerful and highly influential global shakers and movers like shadowy-political-machiavellian-man, Zbigniew Brzezinski, at some point in your adult life and then to get funded to the hilt by big banks, big business and big abortion providers. But, leaving the biographical stuff not included in the 'Audacity of Hope' to one side, most of all, I want you to work for me, because I'm your dear leader and you can tell by my kind eyes and charming smile how much you mean to me. Heck! I love kids! Everyone knows how much I love kids because I would never want to see anyone who had an 'accident' punished with a baby! Without you, my vision of an America of which Stalin would be proud will never be accomplished.

Remember my story and how inspirational I am and that will help you to do it, for yourselves, for your families, for your country, but mostly for me, look into my eyes, look into my eyes, I know you are in love with me, just admit it.

Yes, I'm thinking of so many people who looked set for under-achievement but fought to get where they are today who now have shedloads of money and an incredible career. I'm thinking of popular atheletes, rap stars and men and women who, thanks to their great gifts for scientific enquiry are now working on how to harvest body parts from human embryos. The greatest gift is life, and here in the Democrat party, we want to use that gift as much as we can in an horrendous Orwellian future in which we breed humans to that we can use their DNA and body parts in the name of scientific advancement. Some of you may think that is like something from a science fiction horror movie, but remember kids, nobody made achievements without some sacrifice. If I'm asking you to sacrifice children in laboratories in 5 years time, it is only because I believe in the potential of humanity and what great things we can do in the name of progress.

You, also, might need to make sacrifices in order to achieve success in this brave new America. That is why I'm insisting that Planned Parenthood, who as I say, gave me a truly staggering amount of money while I was fundraising for my nomination, have access to US public funds so that they can base more abortion centres around the United States, because, kids, if there is one thing that gets in the way of getting to the top, it is having children and I don't want to see any of you hardworking future lawyers, doctors and succesful athletes and pop stars punished with a baby, when you could be making progress in life. Can we do it!? Yes, we can! Don't ask me how, because, frankly, 5-10 years ago this country would have been in civil war over the kind of policies I'm promoting, but thanks to the increased secularisation of this once Christian country, there's no stopping me.

So, remember kids, enjoy your new term and your education and don't be surprised if I come back and you have to listen to me addressing you again in an unsettlingly Maoist fashion, as I give you more encouragement for hard work in whatever series of 'compulsory' 'voluntary' projects I have dreamt up with Rahm Emmanuel and my version of Dr Mengele, Science Czar John Holdron, who's reputation, for some strange reason, is left untainted in the mass media, even though independent websites are near screaming references from his own book, in which he speaks of his desire to see eugenics, infanticide, mass murder, sterilisation and a cap on the number of children you can have all implemented in the name of the environment. Some people think he's a monster, but he isn't. He's a beacon of what we can achieve as a country if we've got the right person to sell it to the masses; the friendly face of neo-liberal totalitarianism. That's me, your President, Barack Hussein Obama. God bless you, kids, remember to tell your parents how inspirational this speech was, and God bless America

The Offishal Pets of St Mary Magdalen's Church Offish



No, I'm not drunk, I'm just desperately reaching out for fish related puns. I've bought some fish (well, I will buy them) from the Car Boot Sale for my new place when I move in early October but for the time being they are based in the office. They are fantastic. For the time being they are based in the office of St Mary Magdalen's Church. There are six of them. They are all unique, semi-tropical and are called 'Unam', 'Sanctam', 'Catholicam', 'Et', 'Apostolicam', 'Ecclesiam'. 'Et' is the smallest one. I feed them once a day after Mass and they are lit underneath. The aerator makes a loud humming noise but I don't mind it if I am doing the books. I hadn't realised how much fun fish were until now. They seem very happy and spend most of the day just swimming around the tank. When they're not doing this I presume they are discussing theology and trying to remember what they were doing seven minutes ago. I don't know how often you are meant to clean them out and whether you need a 'filter' or not in the tank. Anyone who has any fishy advice can comment and give me their fish tips, would be highly appreciated.

There is fundraising potential with these fish as well, since you could pop a pirhana in and take bets on which one survives the longest. I don't think I could bring myself to do it, but I'm sure these fish would willingly lay down their lives for the Building Fund.

Palestrina and the Popes



BBC on Saturday showed a great programme in their Sacred Music series, entitled 'Palestrina and the Popes', which actually sounds like an excellent band name! Anyhow, you can watch it here on IPlayer. Fantastic insight into Palestrina, the man and the development of the polyphony which continues to astonish congregations and concert audiences around the globe. I have an aunt who sings in a choir who tour around the World and she says she loves singing Palestrina.

Hopefully, one day, the St Mary Magdalen's Choir will tackle something like this. It would be wonderful if we got that good! Apparently, Palestrina was just a small boy more or less busking hymns to the Virgin Mary when he was spotted by a priest from St Mary Major, Rome and was invited to join their choir. He went on to become a composer and the rest, as they say, is history. What an incredible man and what an incredible sound. Thought I'd put a Marian composition up for Our Lady's Birthday. Enjoy!

Monday, 7 September 2009

Hove Doctor Who 'Helped 50 Patients to Die' Arrested



Harold Shipman 'helped people to die' as well...It will be interesting to see whether this Hove doctor is sentenced.

Courtesy of The Argus

Dr Michael Irwin paid £1,500 for Raymond Cutkelvin to have a lethal dose of the sleeping aid nembutal in the Swiss clinic Dignitas. The 78-year-old claims he helped around 50 people to die during his 40-year career as a GP.

He said that many doctors help patients to die by supplying them with higher doses of diamorphine and sedatives. Dr Irwin, of Cromwell Road, Hove, was arrested by police in London in July and is on bail until September 23.

Mr Cutkelvin, 58, from Hackney in London, was suffering from an inoperable tumour of the pancreas and requested to be taken to the Zurich clinic with his partner Alan Rees-Cutkelvin, 57.

Dr Irvin said: “I met Raymond and gave him £1,500, around a third of the total cost needed for him to got to Dignitas. I went with him and Alan and some family, we all had a last dinner together. The next morning we went to the clinic and arranged to have Raymond's favourite Mo Town music played so he could have his last dance with his niece to Diana Ross. It was surreal but beautiful. He sat down drank a sherry glass of nembutal and made a face because of the bitter taste. Within half an hour he was dead.”

The group travelled to Switzerland in February 2007, but were not arrested at the time. However after the story was highlighted recently by the media Mr Rees-Cutkelvin was arrested in July. Dr Irwin was so furious he called for police to arrest him too, which they did, a week later.

He said: “I gave financial support, moral support and advice. I consider myself equally involved.” Dr Irwin said it is common for doctors to increase the painkillers and sedatives of patients who are dying. He added that he could openly remember discussing the case of a Polish patient with terminal stomach cancer when he was a house physician at a North London hospital in 1956. He would have been in his mid twenties at the time.

He said: “In those days you could openly discuss it with the ward sister and the consultants and we agreed to keep on doubling the morphine every day.” During his career the Hove-based doctor said he helped patients in the United States and in South East Asia to die this way.

A survey of nearly 900 doctors by Professor Clive Seale from St Bartholomew's Hospital in London showed one in six people who are dying are given “terminal sedation” - meaning they are given so many painkillers and sedatives they die.

The shocking figures also revealed an estimated 1,000 people make a secret arrangement with their doctors to be given a lethal injection and 2000 are given one without their consent.

Dr Irwin said: “It's a total hypocrisy – if people have money they can pay to go abroad and have it done legally. The nembutal kills them over the space of half an hour. If they don't have money doctors give them a liberal amount of painkillers and sedatives and they die over the course of weeks. Most people in hospital die that way and there are no inquests into those kinds of deaths.”

Dr Irvin was struck off the medical register by the General Medical Council in 2005 after he admitted a willingness to supply his farmer friend Patrick Kneen with the necessary sleeping pills to help him die.

Mr Kneen never took the pills as he slipped into a coma before Dr Irwin could “treat” him but the GMC still found him guilty of serious professional misconduct and said his actions were irresponsible. Dr Irwin said he has no regrets about what happened. He said: “I'm just sorry for Patrick we got there too late.”

When he was arrested over Mr Cutkelvin's death he went to police with no lawyer and handed over his bank statement showing the direct transaction from his account to Dignitas. Adding: “I have nothing to hide – I want to make this a big issue.”

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: “Two men have been arrested in connection with the investigation, a 78-year-old man and a 57-year-old man. They were both arrested on suspicion of aiding a suicide and have been bailed to attend an East London police station on a date later in September.”

Friday, 4 September 2009

I Do So Love a Good Wedding!



I've been at the Presbytery today doing the accounts of St Mary Magdalen's...an ongoing struggle! I just let a family in who wanted to do some flower arranging for a wedding of their son tomorrow. They had so many gladioli that I asked the groom if Morrissey was attending. He replied, "No, but Martin Rossiter is, because I'm in his band."

How exciting! It turns out that the groom is in a band with Martin Rossiter of 90's Britpop band Gene. I'm not sure whether Gene are still going but the groom is in a new band with Martin. I met Martin at a bar a few years ago and he kept turning up in places like Waitrose and Robert Dyas. Because I had told him that I was a massive fan of Gene, especially in my University days, I think that he began to imagine I was stalking him. Hopefully, I'll grab a moment to chat with him after Mass tomorrow, where he will probably think I am still stalking him. He's happily married now also. I'm going to ask him if he'd come and watch my band play at Brighton Live in October. We got ourselves a gig...we had to pay £5 for the pleasure, because we're not the kind of band you would actually pay to perform. Total amateurs but we do try hard!

Gene were often slagged off in the music press for wearing their Smiths devotion too much on their sleeves. Martin Rossiter even had the English camp flamboyance of Morrissey down to a tee, had a haircut like Morrissey and sounded, at times, rather like Morrissey on vocals. Still, when I was 18 I used to play this song to death at my Mum and Dads house. I don't think I ever did get to see them live, but there we go.

Anyway, I was so pleased to meet another Smiths fan, who also is in a band with Martin Rossiter, that I offered to serve at Mass for the happy couple on their wedding day. I do so love a good wedding! Apparently the groom's mother, though known as Madeleine was actually baptised Mary Magdalen! How apt is that!? And the groom is marrying a Polish lady. Thank God for those Poles!

Thursday, 3 September 2009

Cherie Blair in Public Opposition to Church Teaching Shock!



"Yes, Tony. If we continue to publicy defy the Holy See, we will grown in popularity and one day, yes one day, all of this will be ours. Behold, our disciples already gather around us."

Fr Ray of St Mary Magdalen
fame has picked up on In Hoc Signo Vinces blog, which picked up an article from the Times Online website, in which Cherie Blair has publicly, once more, defied Church teaching on contraception, because motherhood basically stops women from advancing in their careers. So many women have missed out on earning loads of money like she has because they have been unable to put off mothering children until they are no longer fertile. Cherie offers the World these pearls of wisdom.

"I feel that if you look at what progress women have made in the world one of the reasons they have been able to make progress is because they have been able to control their fertility."

Cherie. Take as an example of 'progress' the Blessed Mother of God, the Virgin Mary. After all, like all 'devout' Catholics you pray to her at Mass every Sunday. If Motherhood was good enough for the Blessed Virgin Mary, who accepted graciously the honour of being the Mother of God, when asked by the Archangel Gabriel, then why is the vocation to Motherhood now being presented by you, as something that undermines a woman's career. Believe me, lady, if the Blessed Virgin had responded to the question posed by the Archangel Gabriel by saying, "Oh blast. This has come at a really bad time! You see, I really had my heart set on being a lawyer and earning a fat pile of cash out of litigation and surrounding myself with houses and the odd yacht. Could you come back in 10 years time after I've done my law training? I am the handmaid of the Lord but the Lord will understand my personal ambitions, won't he?"...then you would not have been given the great Grace of being a Catholic, and neither would I.

“I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with that, and indeed without that being able to control I wouldn’t have been able to achieve the things that I’ve been able to do."

Now I don't doubt that Cherie does some stirling work with people who need their human rights defending and all credit to the girl. I admire her ability to overlook the faults of her husband who, quite incredibly, has made himself one of the most universally hated figures of the 21st century...and look, the century only just really got started! Quite an achievement, really! However, Cherie's work with those who need their human rights defending should not be overshadowed by the fact that she has also raised a family. Not only has she raised about 5 presumably wonderful, healthy and doubtless successful-to-be children, but she has done this while still defending human rights victims.

What we do not seem to hear from Cherie, however, is how wonderful she thinks motherhood is. We hear a lot about how great it is having a high-flying career in law and being the wife of a powerful former Prime Minister, but come on, Cherie...How much joy have your children brought you? Hasn't raising a family been wonderful, if at times difficult? Have you nothing good to say about the vocation of Motherhood? It certainly appears that the World is being presented with a vision of life which rejects outright the benefits, both societally and personally of being mothers and fathers. I know it must be awfully exciting hanging out with aging, tired, botox-faced, has-been popstars on yachts, but hasn't being a mother been quite exciting as well?
“I think it’s a really important issue and personally I would prefer it if the Catholic Church took a more positive attitude towards contraception because I think there’s a lot of difference between preventing a life coming about and actually extinguishing a life when it has come about.”
Now, there is a difference, but Cherie dear, the Church is trying to tackle a culture which the previous Pope John Paul II described as the 'Culture of Death'. You know the one, the one who told your husband not to rain bombs on Baghdad, but who your husband ignored, just like he ignores the current Pontiff when he speaks infallibly from the Throne of St Peter. The culture of contraception is the flip-side or even the embryo of the culture of abortion and human sterility. The use of artificial contraception means that a couple are saying, 'No' to new life.

The reasons for this may be many and varied. It may be because they are too poor to have another child, it may be because there is no support for the family, it may be that there are a myriad reasons why having a child right now is not a great thing in human terms. But the idea that the pursuit of money, status and worldly success is the fundamental reason not to bring new life into the World is frankly, in the light of the Holy Gospel, both laughable and lamentable, because a couple that are saying 'No' to new life through artificial contraception are far more likely to say 'No' to life if a child is conceived as an 'accident'. You may have given birth to your unplanned child and good on you, but, couples who contracept habitually and who are not practising natural family planning are more likely to abort should something go 'wrong' and a new life be conceived because their minds and hearts were not prepared for the eventuality.

And so the Church in Her great wisdom teaches that healthy Catholic couples are open to life because it means they are open to God and His design, His creation. It means that the couple welcome the new life as God's gift, rejoicing saying, "God has given us a child...again!" instead of saying, "Holy s**t! I'm pregnant! What the **** are we going to do?!"

Now, this teaching may be hard, but the Church, as described in Pope Paul VI's prophetic encyclical, Humane Vitae, is fully aware of the weaknesses of the Laity, our temptations and our failures to live fully in accordance to God's Most Holy Will. As St Paul says, something along the lines of, "I see those things that are good that I do not do, and those things which I hate, I do." Cherie, darling, that is why Christ in His Generosity gave the Church the Sacrament of Reconciliation, because we are sinners in need of God's forgiveness. Only with the help of God's Grace can we even think of living in accordance with His Most Holy Will. These treasures of Graces in the Church are given to the Faithful to enrich human lives with the generous love of God, nourish human families, forgive sins, obtain for us salvation and try with God's help to live in His Love. I hope and pray, lady, that you and your misguided not-the-messiah-but-a-very-naughty-boy husband one day understand this essential truth of the Catholic Faith. Get thee to a confessional! God knows I need to go myself! As for the Blairs, who are they worshipping? God or...

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Building Fund: Fundraising Ideas



1. Car Wash. Stand at Western Road traffic lights with a bucket and a sponge in your hand and wash cars that stop at red. Ask for a donation from the driver. In true Christian charity, insult them vociferously if they refuse to pay up. If you can dress up like the ladies in the picture, then all the better, as it will bring in more cash. It doesn't matter if people call you a squeegee merchant. All that matters is the Building Fund. If you have a copy of the 70's disco classic, 'Car Wash' playing on a battery-powered stereo then all the better.



2. Apple Chutney. You know that apple chutney your Grandma makes every year, that you and all your friends love. Well, this stuff is dynamite and will sell by the truckload. Obtain by stealth the 'secret family recipe' and sell it at an inflated price outside your parish Church. Almost overnight, you will have halved the amount needed by your parish Building Restoration Fund.



3. Poker Night! Consider yourself as a bit of a Robert DeNiro, or even a Sharon Stone? Well, you could be! Organise a parish poker night and invite people from inside and outside the parish to attend. Entry fee is £5 for a night of fun and vice with potential winnings for the lucky victors. Potential winnings that is, because you know, having watched the films, that all the best casinos take the winners of large amounts outside and give them a hiding if they leave with the loot. In true Christian charity, ensure that there are no winners but the building fund and watch the stakes get higher! Draw upon quotes from other gangster films such as Scarface and tell people, with white powder on your nose, in no uncertain terms, "Don't f*** with me!", preferably after you've laid down your full house.



4. Spiritual Healing! Yes, you heard me! Everybody knows that spiritual healing is a load of tripe made up by a bunch of charlatans to get money out of people who feel a bit queer and emotional. Why let those quacks take all the money when your parish has over a hundred new agers just ready to fleece the public with dodgy 'energy field' practises which make people feel relaxed afterwards, primarily because you got them to lie down for a while, and which make them come back a week later because they're not feeling very relaxed again. This really is a strong area to get £50 out of some poor sucker who is feeling under the weather. I mean, what about massage? You may not be a qualified masseur/euse, but you know the basics! Advertise in the local Friday-Ad and charge a bucket for a rub down. In order to make yourself appear more authentic, buy a cucumber from Tescos and get some pebbles from Brighton beach to put on your 'patient's' back as they lay on their front! Quids in! Tell other people about the healing colour of orange, giving them each an orange. To each of them say, "Your future looks bright...Yes, your future looks orange. Orange is the colour of healing." Read the palms of other patients and tell them that they're all going to become Catholic...if you say it enough times, embed the idea in their subconscious...and pray for them, then maybe they will!



5. Penitents in Stocks! If there is one thing every parish Church has, it is penitent sinners, since the Church is the hospital of sinners. There should, therefore be ample volunteers for 'Penitents in Stocks'! Take your penitents down to Churchhill Square with your stocks and rack 'em up. While the public have plenty of time for seeing young offenders doing community service in orange bibs, the old lust for watching grown men and women doing public penance while thinking, "I'm glad I'm not like him/her!" is due a revival. The mob will at first be localised to your church parishioners, who momentarily forget the Lord's compassionate treatment of the adultress from the Gospels, but the hysteria will soon sweep up believers and non-believers alike in cacophonic spite and derision at the sins of the redeemed. Charge £5 per viewing. Everyone's a winner! The penitent is able to expiate his past sins and seek the public humiliation for which his soul so longs, while the mob will be happy to feast upon the sins of the poor soul. Believe me, the coffers of the Building Fund will be overflowing with £5 notes before you can say, "Ah God! Be merciful to me, a sinner!" I'll go first...Anyone else? Anyone?



6. Chatlines! Ah, so many lonely chaps and chapesses out there looking for friendship, fun and 'more'. Why not cater to the temporal and spiritual needs of the masses by setting up parish chatlines with all the proceeds going to the Building Fund. Gay chatlines, straight chatlines, bi chatlines, lesbian chatlines...the market is out there just waiting! No matter what the chatline, you can use the opportunity to make money for the Building Fund, while bringing more unsuspecting callers to the Catholic Faith, even though they called the number advertised as 'XXX Hot Gay Chat', telling them that that service is currently unavailable, but that they have, fortunately got through to the 'Immaculate Heart of Mary Chatline' and this call could really change their lives. Whatever you do, don't tell them you are wearing slippers, an old knitted jumper and that you are listening to the Very Best of Perry Como.



7. Shoe Shiner. Ah the good old days, when businessmen could have their shoes shined by an honest working class citizen in a suit, who would always know his station and wish you a good day. He was also a 'man of the street' who could give police inspectors vital information on the latest movements of the criminal underworld for an extra couple of bob. Bring the good old days back by setting up some shoe polishing equipment outside Brighton station. You've got the cap, you've got the mock cockney accent, you've got the polish, so now shine the shoes of the good working people of Brighton, even if the recession is causing the working population to decrease steadily and progressively every day. For the sandal wearing hippy community of Brighton you can use this on the hard skin of men and women for whom washing is an annual event.



Believe me, this implement works! I used it the other day and it actually feels like I have brand new feet!



8. Soda Bread. Making bread is hard isn't it? That's what I thought until I popped out of the house the other day and my mum had my girlfriend making soda bread in the space of an hour! Here's the recipe. Sell it around the clock outside your parish church and watch the cash flow in. This stuff will sell like, err, hot, err, bread. Here is the recipe.

The Mystery of the Liturgy...and Liturgical Misery!



At the weekend I drove up and picked up my Polish ladyfriend from West London. With her family we attended Mass at a nearby parish. We arrived late and I was visibly irritated that we had arrived after the Gospel, insisting (apparently incorrectly) that we had in fact missed Mass. I can be known to exaggerate when I am pissed off. When we arrived, the Priest was giving the homily. I believe that at the time when we walked in, the Priest was talking about the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. An important theme, one that Priests need to proclaim 'in season and out of season'.

I was surprised, therefore, that having heard from the pulpit, the Priest's correct assertion that God is truly present in the Blessed Sacrament, that the liturgy seemed to reflect this so poorly. The liturgy reminded me of old Baptist services which I attended prior to my conversion to the One True Faith. Baptists do their thing, I guess, because they don't believe in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. Yet we are still doing their thing even though we do...or at least profess that we do.

I know that often I take it for granted that we are lucky at St Mary Magdalen's to have a Priest who really makes an effort to ensure that the liturgy reflects the great Mystery of the Mass. The Latin which we sing at Mass, the reverence which he treats the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and the effort he goes to in order to preach that the Mass is the holiest thing this side of Heaven, are all about directing his parishioners to a deeper understanding of Who is present every time Mass is offered. It is meant to be Heavenly. Literally!

Yet at the parish Church I attended on Sunday in London, even though the Priest had reflected on the Real Presence, the liturgy seemed to undermine the entire Mass. From the guitar strumming, mic'd up man singing 'Give Me Joy in My Heart', to the two lay Eucharistic Ministers, one man, one a young lady who distributed Communion (not just the Chalice, but the Host also), to the end of the Mass when the Priest thanked the congregation for 'joining in during our Mass', appeared to demystify the entire Mass. "There are three of us giving Communion," said the Priest, "it doesn't matter which one of us you receive it from". This was an unfortunate turn of phrase because again it cheapens and demystifies Who is truly present in Holy Communion. In other words, "It doesn't matter who you receive Communion from because..." The inference is that Communion is not what he had in his homily said it was. If he truly believed that Holy Communion was the Body and Blood, Soul, Divinity and Humanity of Christ then he would know that the Priest has been ordained to consecrate and administer Holy Communion and apart, perhaps, from exceptional circumstances it is the Priest who does it. The other inference is that either the dignity of the Priesthood has been cheapened or there are in fact three Priests on the Sanctuary.

Not only did it demystify the Mass, but looking around wearily at the parishioners singing 'Give Me Joy in My Heart', it infantilised the Mass, forcing grown adults to sing what essentially is a children's song. I don't know. I know that this is a story across the country and that many people are in fact happy with the trends, which we all know started long ago, but which continue. Later, over the course of the weekend, I heard on Radio 4 a wonderful programme called Soul Music on the composition, 'Miserere Mei' by Allegri, about how the Vatican tried desperately to keep the piece within the walls of the Holy See, because it is almost miraculous in its beauty and transendence. It was their gem. It was only because a 12-year-old Mozart memorised it and wrote it down later on a piece of paper that it ever got out of the walls of the Eternal City.

Music that reflects the liturgy. That is what Popes down the ages have yearned for and when they have discovered it, they themselves have championed it. Beauty and transcendence are what those Priests faithful to the Benedictine 'reform of the reform' project wish to see in the Mass. They seek to ensure that the Mass is all about Him, rather than all about us. Again, it would appear that various clergy, for the Laity can hardly be blamed for this trend, are more interested in 'our Mass' than the Most Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Believe me, it was woeful and I hope and pray you never have to sit through it. Thank God for the Priests who truly believe in the Real Presence!