God's Pigeon?

The Telegraph reports that, 'the 27-kilometer (16.8 mile) LHC suffered serious overheating in several sections after the small piece of baguette landed in a piece of equipment on the surface above the accelerator ring.

Dr Mike Lamont, the LHC’s Machine Coordinator, said that a “a bit of baguette”, believed to have been dropped by a bird, caused the superconducting magnets to heat up from 1.9 Kelvin (-271.1C) to around 8 Kelvin (-265C), near the mark where they stop superconducting.'

The Times journalist, Johnathon Leake mused upon whether the Large Hadron Collider's misfortunes can be put down to a Divine dislike of the scientific community's efforts to recreate the same conditions as at the Big Bang. Other less prominent thinkers are drawn to the theory that the Almighty is sabotaging the project in defense of human lives, since there is an outside chance that the gigantic and gigantically expensive project could create a wormhole through which the whole universe could be turned into goo and sucked into a void. Yet who can know the mind of the Lord?

However, the latest bird related drama to have hit the LHC has shed more light on the matter. The Thrill managed to grab an interview with the offending bird and upon being asked whether she was indeed, 'God's pigeon' she replied, "Of course, I'm God's pigeon. We're all God's pigeons. You ask whether I had a special mission and I can confirm that this is true. Basically one of the workers at the LHC was enjoying a BLT and I saw my chance and took it. I flew down, nicked a bit of his baguette and dropped it into the LHC by accident. I don't know, I felt compelled, because its my nature to scavenge for food wherever I can. Looking back, I feel I had a special mission to disrupt this dangerous project, but only in hindsight. It wasn't like I felt a Voice telling me to do it or anything. Sometimes it is only in hindsight that you can see that this was the Lord's doing and I'm happy to have played my part. We pigeons don't have many fans, you know, but the pigeon community now rejoices that it was one of us, probably a widely despised species, often considered vermin. You know, if there is any evidence for the Fall, then many point to us pigeons and say, 'Yep, look, evidence for the Fall.' Still, that said, looking back, it is ironic that such a despised creature was chosen by God to knock down, once more, this Tower of Babel Collider."